What should we learn first in life?

This article comes from a Vietnamese author.

Foreigners learn these three phrases and carry them around the world.

Here's the translation of your text into English:

"Thanks" - "Cảm ơn" for everything you've done for me. I deeply appreciate and am grateful for today.

"Sorry" - "Xin lỗi" for my mistakes. I have realized my faults, and I will correct them to improve every day.

"Please" - I really want to be self-reliant; I don't want to take away your precious time, but "Please," this time, I really need you. It also reflects a sense of friendship, as I am willing to set aside my ego to ask for your help for the greater good.

These three words, though short and simple, carry significant meaning about how you treat others and how much you respect and value the relationship between you and the person in front of you.

And what about Vietnam?

I am proud that we also have four important lessons to learn: “Học ăn, học nói, học gói, học mở” (Learning to eat, to speak, to wrap, and to unwrap). This phrase becomes even more meaningful as we experience it differently at each stage of life:

“Học ăn” (Learning to eat) - This is about learning to sacrifice, to give up your best portion for others, to leave the last pieces for those you love. Our ancestors sacrificed their lives to protect the country’s peace, freedom, and independence. Our parents work hard so that we have enough food to eat, clothes to wear, books to study, and love to give.

Vietnamese language is profound—why do we say “cho nhận” (to give and then receive) instead of “nhận cho” (to receive and then give)? Simply because we receive what we give. The first lesson our ancestors taught us is to learn how to sacrifice, as sacrifice is an expression of love, and love nourishes morality. Morality, in turn, will guide us to live a complete and righteous life.

“Học nói” (Learning to speak) - “When you say something, you are letting the world know who you are.”

"Nhờ và do" (Thanks to and because of) - “Because of the failures, my life is this difficult” or “Thanks to the failures, I have become as resilient as I am today.” (One situation - Two statements - Two destinies).

“Học nói” (Learning to speak) here refers to communication, which encompasses both speaking and listening. Listening to what others need to say and speaking what they need to hear. Speaking correctly, speaking sufficiently, and ensuring that what you say carries a message and is directed toward a certain value. Listen with your heart to understand both the external language they speak and the inner soul within. Because only when we truly listen can we grasp the essence of what the other person is trying to convey. Words may be clumsy, but the underlying meaning is what truly matters. If words do not carry love, experience, and empathy from the eyes, mind, and heart, then they are merely empty shells without value.

Why do we become more forgiving, letting go more easily, and less caught up in trivial matters as we mature? Because we have learned to care about the underlying meaning the other person is trying to express, allowing us to understand and forgive their occasional lack of eloquence. If words are filled with sincerity, then “Have you eaten yet?” becomes the warmest expression of care in the world, and “I love you” becomes the sweetest declaration of love on earth.

“Học gói, học mở” (Learning to wrap, learning to unwrap) - Perhaps I have not yet fully explored the beauty of these last two phrases. But as spring follows winter, and the flowers bloom, only to wither when winter returns, we learn that no matter how beautiful something is, it must eventually come to an end. It is not an ending, but rather an opening for new things, new souls, new life, and new joys to enter our lives. The law of conservation of energy states: “Energy cannot be created or destroyed; it can only be transformed from one form to another.”

Joy - sorrow, fortune - misfortune, warmth - separation, we wrap them up and then unwrap them, unwrap them and then wrap them up again. Learning this is learning to accept the impermanence that comes into our lives. “No raindrop falls in the wrong place, and nothing in life happens by chance.” Whether we experience happiness or despair, we will gradually grow, learn more lessons, and come to appreciate and live a fuller life. “Because after all, spring follows winter, and then spring returns.”

As a child, I simply understood it as learning to wrap up a story and then unwrap it. Growing a little older, I understood it as wrapping up sorrow and unwrapping joy. When I fell in love, I realized that it’s about learning to cherish and take care of those who love us and “accepting and letting go of things that can no longer belong to us.”

“Thank you for not waiting for me” - Mai

Finally, I would like to express my deep and sincere gratitude to my family for the great inspiration they have given me. Through observing their efforts, I gradually came to understand the profound meaning of these four phrases, making me cherish even more the literature and language of our beloved Vietnam!

In the journey of life, these lessons are not merely philosophical concepts but practical guides that shape our daily interactions and relationships. Embracing the essence of “Học ăn, học nói, học gói, học mở” helps us navigate through the complexities of human connections with empathy and respect.

By “learning to eat”, we practice the art of sacrifice and generosity, acknowledging that our greatest joy often comes from giving rather than receiving. “Learning to speak” teaches us the importance of mindful communication, where every word is carefully chosen to convey genuine feelings and intentions. “Learning to wrap and unwrap” reminds us of the cyclical nature of life and the need to embrace both the joyous moments and the inevitable challenges with grace and resilience.

As we internalize these lessons, we cultivate a deeper understanding of ourselves and others, fostering relationships built on trust, compassion, and shared growth.