WHAT A PLAY

WHAT A PLAY; AN INBUILT DOMINACE IN FEMALE LAWYERS

Studying law and becoming a lawyer has always been my greatest feast. Little did i know that there is a price to pay for being a lawyer and even an extra for a successful one at that?

The price of DOMINACE- SUBMISSIVENESS, the price of Conflict of Emotions and attitude, the price of having and battling with SPLIT PERSONALITY.

Having and battling with split personality entails a huge and unresolved conflict of interest in attitude and emotions mostly on parallel direction; in ordinary sense means multiple personality disorder where behaviour of each personality may be different.

Extensive research and quest for knowledge about my discovered self started way back in my 3rd year while studying law (2016/2017) this is what studying law brought to me. My law journey started in my year two after a transfer of school and department were made. Throughout my year two embracing my new found path was quite controversial because studying law was bore out of my desperate need to shield and protect myself

Why? One part of me is a tormented introvert whose self esteem got extremely shattered through broken homes and unstable family ( that where my ultimate desires to be alone in my own undisturbed, quiet and reserved corner which is my safest place) while my other self is a bold, confident, fearless and an outspoken, rude bitch.

This controversial personality made me seems like a different person because this moment is this while the next moment is that in my full different glory

Becoming a lawyer taught me ‘’DEFEAT ISNT AN OPTION’’ we were trained that in order to be professionally sound accepting defeat is an ultimate sign of weakness.

And being woman feebleness, meekness, softness is our inbuilt personality; it only takes a broken woman to turn out to be cruel and stone hearted however being woman and being a lawyer is the two parallel world I had to balance; a lifestyle and decision that took my youth days away still I NEVER FOR ONCE REGRET MY DECISION OF BEING A LAWYER.

I often say my personality as a lawyer is quite different from my womanly instinct however this is the biggest sign of dualistic Emotions and this is why i tends to be melancholic and choleric at same time.

No doubt this dualistic or double personality mostly cloud my judgement and this cannot be totally avoided, sometimes i find it difficult to balance the equation of being a strong hearted lawyer and a feeble minded young lady in such a way that i ended up acting outside the box.

My Lawyerly instincts mostly kick against the womanly nature of meekness and feeble natured. Don’t misquote me am not a product of anti moral philosophy of our great grandmothers. Still a strong sense of responsibility, independency, and an ultimate sign of dominance supercede in my personality traits. This brings about my lack of affection toward opposite sex as it is believed to be seen as a passage for weakness.

The question is HOW THEN CAN THIS BE REDUCED OR CAN IT EVER BE TOTALLY AVOIDED?

Someone suggested a therapy session! But does that mean this is perceived as a psychological issue? My answers differs because studying law is a choice or a decision carefully mapped out for a reason or benefit not just some psychological trauma or childhood experience one picked up from an incidence however, life experience shows that larger percentage of law student or lawyers out there were not given the self reflective opportunity to choice rather it is a laid down decision or should i say an order that need and a must to be followed.

The self decision not some inbuilt family or parental wish to become a lawyer is a self bondage or self decision that originally it TRAUMATIC!

Are you shocked to read that studying or becoming a lawyer can be self traumatic at times? Then let revert our mind back to LAW SCHOOL EXPERIENCE! !! !!!

NIGERIAN LAW SCHOOL this ought to be an academic environment that is conducive and mentally relaxed environment why? Because the brain needs to relaxed and be calm before it can function properly this is BIOLOGICALLY important however on the contrary it is designed in a way to mentally tortured and drain the hell outta you.

As i often advised NLS and its environs is specifically tension driven that is; it is SURVIVAL OF THE STRONGEST! Being smart doesn’t guarantee your success and being a bar aspirant is not for the feeble minded yet the experience of going through NLS emotionally trained its student to adapt under any condition.

Recently a tweet goes thus; why don’t lawyers cry or get emotionally tangled while in argument (legal battle) however a reply i found befitting goes thus: because all those tears has been drained up in law school.