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IS IT A GOOD IDEA TO DATE A PRISONER?

WHAT IS IT LIKE TO DATE SOMEONE WHO IS INCARCERATED?

By PALESA CHAUKEPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
IS IT A GOOD IDEA TO DATE A PRISONER?
Photo by Karollyne Videira Hubert on Unsplash

IS IT A GOOD IDEA TO DATE A PRISONER?

Dating someone who is incarcerated is a very personal decision impacted by a wide range of circumstances, including individual values and perceptions of risks and rewards. Here, we look at some compelling reasons why dating a prisoner could be a good or bad idea, shedding light on the complexities of an uncommon romantic endeavour. For some, jail is a catalyst for significant personal growth. Individuals in prison can have the opportunity to reflect on their acts, address their flaws, and strive for growth and self-improvement. As a result, dating a prisoner might mean witnessing incredible journeys of redemption and growth.

Partners can play an important role in supporting positive development by providing unwavering support and realisations, fostering a sense of purpose and optimism in the face of adversity. However, it takes a lot of effort to get it perfect, and the decision is ultimately yours. 1. You Recognise Imperfection: You've accepted that perfection is an impossible expectation. Everyone, including you, makes errors. You believe in human nature's inherent fallibility and find it hypocritical when others pass severe judgement on others, particularly those doing the judging who may not have been caught for their illegal wrongdoings. Your perspective is based on empathy and the recognition that the path to growth include acknowledging and learning from mistakes rather than criticising people for them.

You Have a Longstanding Relationship: Your relationship with the incarcerated person precedes their imprisonment. They've been a constant presence in your life, providing support and care over time. Their arrest hasn't changed your bond, and you feel loyal to them for the ways they've helped you in the past. This past reinforces your resolve to continue contact with them despite their current difficulties, and you refuse to walk away and abandon them.

You are drawn to those who haven't engaged in violent crimes or actions that directly endanger the safety of others. Even though you recognise how serious their crimes were, you still think that non-violent offenders have a chance at rehabilitation. This conviction informs your choice to keep up your friendship with them since you see room for improvement. 4. You value the chance to write to get to know someone better because you lead a busy life. You can discuss each other's ideas, emotions, and experiences more deeply and thoughtfully when you become pen friends. Even though you live far away, you love the special dynamic of "dating on paper" and find fulfilment in the letters you share.

The individual has shown significant personal growth through interactions and visits, expressing a genuine desire for change. They believe in their capacity for transformation and envision a positive future with them upon release. They value learning survival skills from those who have navigated prison environments, as it can offer tips and strategies for dealing with human behavior and navigating with individuals involved in criminal activities or with unkind intentions. They are open to understanding the challenges of incarceration.

Below I will highlight the challenges faced by individuals in romantic relationships with prisoners, including the potential for long-term relationships, legal complications, and potential loneliness.

The individuals may lack patience or fortitude to wait for a prisoner's release date, fearing they will be wasting their time if they are not released as expected or become a repeat offender. The legal system can be overwhelming, with restrictions on physical contact, travel, and lifestyle choices. The prisoner may feel lonely, as they may miss out on significant life events and milestones. The introduction of a prisoner into family dynamics can be challenging, especially if there are children involved. Maintaining a supportive network of friends and family who understand and accept the relationship can be crucial for its success, but this may be difficult to achieve due to societal prejudices against prisoners.

Dating a prisoner can raise personal safety concerns and emotional rollercoaster, causing internal conflict and stress. The relationship can be influenced by the nature of their offense and potential risks to loved ones if released. Balancing companionship with safety and well-being can create internal conflict. The emotional rollercoaster of love, from hope and anticipation to frustration and disappointment, can take a toll on mental and emotional health. Prioritizing self-care and seeking support from friends, family, or mental health professionals can help cope with these challenges.

In conclusion

Dating a prisoner is a personal decision influenced by various factors, offering potential for personal transformation and growth. For those with long-standing connections or non-violent offenses, it may feel meaningful. However, potential drawbacks include legal complications, lack of shared experiences, family dynamics, safety concerns, emotional challenges, and limited future prospects. The decision depends on individual circumstances and values, requiring self-reflection.

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