Improving Writing Skills: Being More Descriptive

Today we're going to learn about a cool writing skill called "showing, not telling." Basically, instead of just saying something boring like "the man was stressed" or "the room was messy," we want to use descriptive words and details to paint a picture in the reader's mind. For example, instead of saying "the man was stressed," we could say "the man was fidgeting and biting his nails." This shows the reader that he's so stressed he can't sit still. And instead of saying "the room was messy," we could describe the items in the room that make it messy, like a leftover pizza, dirty clothes on the floor, and dirty plates and cups. These details make the writing more interesting and help the reader imagine what's happening.

Let's talk about describing people and their actions. Saying someone is confident or careful is okay, but it's much better to show how they are confident or careful. For example, instead of just saying a woman is confident, we can describe how she walks with purpose and everyone notices her. This gives us a better idea of what confidence looks like. Another example is instead of just saying a boy is careful, we can say he places his favorite magazine in the top drawer of his cabinet. This shows us exactly how he is careful and what he is careful with. Being specific helps us understand better.

For example, instead of saying "The stadium was full," we can say "The sound from the stadium was so loud it hurt my ears! The crowd was chanting the player's name and the stadium was packed with people." When we talk about the weather, we don't just want to say "It was hot" or "It was cold." We want to describe how it felt and what we saw. For example, "The sun was so hot it felt like it was burning my skin. I could see the lady's skin turning red from the heat." Or, "It was so cold that the drain pipes were freezing and the ice was three inches thick." When we want to say someone found something funny, we can say "He was laughing so hard he couldn't control his body. He was rolling around on the floor in hysterics!"

The big castle got taken over! Woah, can you imagine what's going on inside? Is the king getting his head chopped off? Are the new soldiers marching in? What's happening? They put up a new flag really high and everyone cheered. Cool, right? Try to picture it in your head and notice all the little things. It's great to use lots of describing words, but how can you actually show what you mean? How can you describe it so we can see it too? Let's use details to make our writing more interesting!

Picture this: You saw a bad guy steal something and the cops want to know what you saw. You can't just say "he got in a car" because that won't help the police catch him. They would have to chase down every car they see! But if you say "a tall young man in a thick hoodie ran away in a beat-up gray car," the police will have a better idea of who to look for. Adjectives are words that make nouns more specific and descriptive. When you use them correctly, they can help people imagine things with just a few words.

Let's say your teacher wants you to write about your favorite vacation. You could just say "I went to Hawaii," but that's not very exciting. Instead, you can use adjectives to make your writing more interesting. Adjectives are words that describe things. To use them, you need to ask yourself questions like "what kind," "which one," "how many," and "how much." For example, instead of saying "I went to a resort in Hawaii," you could say "I went to a beautiful resort in Hawaii with palm trees and a clear blue ocean." You don't have to answer all of the questions, just use the ones that help you tell your story the way you want to.

We're going to learn how to make our sentences more interesting by using adjectives. Let's start with a simple sentence about a resort. First, we need to ask ourselves some questions. What kind of resort did you go to? Well, I went to a first class resort in Hawaii. Next, which one did you go to? I went to a famous first class resort in Hawaii. Lastly, how many resorts did you go to? I went to a few famous first class resorts in Hawaii. See how adding adjectives can make your sentence more specific and engaging?