How to Support Pregnant College Students

Being pregnant is equal parts beautiful and exhausting. Between the frequent bathroom trips, nausea, muscle spasms, and changes in mood, we really go through it! Imagine enduring all that comes with pregnancy while also balancing the life of a college student. Many women do this and come out victorious, but not all. As a former “mom in college” who experienced a semester of college while pregnant, and as someone who works with pregnant students, I can promise you there is a need for further understanding from all stakeholders in higher education. Here are a few ways to support pregnant students:

To administrators and faculty: Educate yourselves and offer your voice. If you don’t already know the rights of pregnant students under Title IX then learn and adhere to them. Every student who enters your classroom deserves a fair chance at success so be sure to give them that through equitable practices. One specific consideration is your attendance policy. Pregnant students might not be able to adhere to a strict attendance policy, especially if they are experiencing severe morning sickness or develop one of the various complications that can arise during the 40 weeks of pregnancy. Be mindful of that and encourage open and frequent communication. Additionally, if you notice a student who is struggling, do your best to educate them on their rights as well because they probably aren’t aware of them. Finally, research how “family-friendly” your campus is – are there changing tables (and not just in the daycare), lactation rooms, etc.? Many campuses have adopted these accessible resources. If your institution hasn’t, maybe it is time to change that. If you’d like more information on student parents, please check out the Institute for Women’s Policy Research – they have been researching the needs of parenting students for many years.

To other students: Offer your help. We get so caught up in our own world and our own struggles that we can’t see the roadblocks that the people around us are attempting to get around. If you see a pregnant student who needs help, help her! This can be offering to hold something, giving up your seat in the classroom, holding the elevator door as she is trying to catch it before it leaves, or offering to share your notes when she misses class. Don’t just be kind, though. Instead, practice patience. Pregnant women are on a rollercoaster of emotions and are also physically limited at times. Be patient with these students, you have no idea what they are struggling with.

To other moms: Don’t judge her based on your experience. She isn’t you; you aren’t her. Don’t discount her feelings by telling her how hard it was for you, that doesn’t help at all. Unless your pregnancy advice is helpful (and she has asked for it), keep it to yourself. Instead, consider what help you would have wanted along the way and either offer that help or find someone who can. It’s time that moms stop being spiteful towards other moms! Of all people on campus, you are her very best ally. Instead of drawing comparisons, make connections.

To everyone: Be kind. Most pregnant college students don’t want your pity, they just want to make it through the semester (or quarter) without failing or having serious health issues. It doesn’t take much to show a little kindness to others for a moment. Additionally, if you are familiar with the different services and centers on campus, connect them to those helpful resources. These resources include counseling, a women’s center, a parenting organization, or club, etc. Don’t assume they know, instead make sure they do! Don’t be a part of their struggle, become a part of their success. Remember: when you support a mom in college, you aren't just supporting one generation, but two.

(previously published at www.collegesuccessformoms.wordpress.com)