How to Control Your Anger Before It Controls You 

Anger is universal. Unchecked, it can cause lasting damage in our lives: wrecked relationships, lost jobs, even serious disease. Yet in these increasingly stressful times, all of us have acted in anger - and often wished we hadn't. Is there a way that really works to solve problems and assert ourselves without being angry?

The answer is a resounding yes, if you follow the breakthrough steps of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). This proven approach, developed by world renowned psychotherapist Dr. Albert Ellis, has withstood the test of time, helping countless people deal effectively with emotional problems.

Using easy-to-master instructions and exercises, this classic book will show you how to apply REBT techniques to understand the roots and nature of your anger, and take control of and reduce angry reactions. Here you will discover:

How to Control Your Anger Before It Controls You

1. The rational and irrational aspects of anger

1.1. Types of Anger

Anger can be a powerful emotion, and many people become angry when they are frustrated or confronted with stressful situations.

However, sometimes anger can have negative effects on a person's life if it's not dealt with properly.

The three main types of anger are:

1. Contempt

2. Hostility

3. Aggression

Contempt is a form of anger. The anger feels intense, but it does not result in physical harm or verbal aggression.

Hostility is a form of anger. The anger feels intense, and the person responds with physical violence or verbal aggression.

Aggression is a form of anger. The anger feels intense, and the person responds with physical violence or verbal aggression regardless of whether another person is present.

1.2. Effects on Physical Health

The health of your eyes can be negatively affected by the screen of digital devices.

During extended computer work, our pupils dilate more than usual, and our eyes get less exposure to natural sunlight. This can exacerbate dry eyes, eye fatigue, and headaches.

The close proximity of the digital device can also increase the risk for our eyes becoming infected, especially if you share your screen with others.

Another health consequence to using a digital device is musculoskeletal. Researchers found that people who own digital devices are more likely to hold poor posture, and are more likely to have a slouched posture. Their necks are bent down, their heads are tilted forward, and their neck muscles become tight, which can lead to neck pain, back pain, and shoulder pain.

1.3. Effects on Psychological Health

A recent survey has shown that in the last two decades, there has been an increase in mental health related issues across the globe. In 2014, over 300 million people suffered from a mental health problem such as anxiety, depression, or schizophrenia. This figure is up from 160 million in 1990.

The increased incidence of mental health issues can be attributed to a number of factors, including:

Stress

The inability to cope with stress. This is caused by a variety of factors, such as:

Financial problems

The inability to make ends meet

Chronic illness

The inability to recover from illness

Relationship problems

The inability to maintain successful relationships

Social isolation

A feeling of isolation from the rest of the world

Dependency

An inability to provide for themselves

2. Special insights into your self-angering beliefs

You thoughts have the power to control your words and actions. They determine what type of person you become.

Your thoughts have tremendous power over your life. Your thoughts can determine the type of person you become. With self-angering thoughts, you become negative, emotional, and upset. Your self-angering thoughts can make you depressed, anxious, and fearful. Self-angering thoughts can be so devastating that it can lead to suicide.

Your thoughts can make you feel depressed or anxious. Most people have self-angering thoughts from time to time. When these negative self-angering beliefs arise, they can turn into a strong belief. Over time, these thoughts shape our behaviors.

3. How to think, feel, and act your way out of anger

Anger is the result of many different thoughts and feelings. First, you have to identify what you’re feeling. Sometimes it’s obvious, but other times, it can be harder to identify. Sometimes anger can sneak up on you and catch you off guard. You can practice identifying your anger reactions by noticing how you feel when you get mad.

Then, it’s important to figure out what’s triggering your anger. In most cases, anger comes about when people act in ways that hurt our pride or anger us in some way. Figuring out what triggers your anger is vitally important to learning how to manage it effectively. Once you know what’s causing your anger, you can work on changing those behaviors and situations so you feel less angry.

For example, let’s say your partner did something to hurt you, like making a nasty remark or criticizing your work. Hearing this hurts your pride and makes you feel angry. You immediately want to vent your anger at your partner, but you don’t want to get into a shouting match. You want to be able to express your anger effectively, without hurting your partner’s feelings or damaging your relationship.

4. How to relax

Relaxation techniques help to decrease stress, anxiety, and blood pressure levels.

When trying to relax, it is important to focus on your breathing. Deep breathing allows your body to slowly lower blood pressure, prevent anxiety, and stop you from having trouble sleeping. Deep breathing alone, however, will not help to completely relax you.

To completely relax, you will need to take some of the stress off of your body. You can do that by engaging in stretching or yoga, which can release tension in your muscles. Stretching and yoga also allow your body to relax while focusing on one exercise.

You may also want to treat yourself to a massage, which can help to decrease stress levels by touching areas of your body that hold stress.

5. How to accept yourself with your anger

When something goes wrong, we get angry. We get angry at work, with friends, with our children, with our spouse. Angry anger is not a bad thing, because anger is a signal of discontentment.

Anger is a healthy human emotion. The problem is that sometimes, we get angry inappropriately. When our anger takes over and becomes destructive, we harm ourselves and those around us. Start taking control of your anger today by accepting yourself with your anger.

...and much more that will help you challenge and eliminate the anger that can frustrate success and happiness at home, at work, anywhere

Anger - A Three-Part Series

In this post, we'll cover the topic of anger - specifically, how and why people become angry, from three perspectives - the cognitive, the emotional, and the physical. Then, we'll explain how the Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) approach specifically helps people deal with anger. Finally, we'll detail steps you can use to apply the REBT approach to your own life and overcome anger once and for all.

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