Hospitality to hospitals.

It took me until 25 years old to know what I really wanted to do with my life - nursing. I would often find myself fantasising about travelling to Countries of poverty or war or other crisises to help the people there. I would imagine myself with medical supplies, assisting those who needed urgent medical attention or couldn’t otherwise afford or access it. This was all before I even considered a career in nursing. That came as an epiphany.

One night, after a particularly exhausting day with my two toddlers, I was lying in bed trying to sleep, questioning my purpose in life, when my mind began wonder to one of these scenarios. In this particular one, I was in an African Country that was poverty ridden, carrying a medical bag and helping someone unwell when I stopped myself and inwardly scoffed. ‘They wouldn’t let you carry medical equipment or perform any procedures, there are doctors and nurses who do that!’ I thought to myself. But just then, as if I’d just been slapped round the face, I sat bolt upright in shock. That was it! The answer to my soul searching. Still on the rush of adrenaline, I grabbed my phone and messaged my husband, ‘I know what I need to do!’ Whilst awaiting his reply, I opened my browser app to start some research. Before long, I felt my head feeling heavy so I put down my phone and embrace the inevitable sleep.

The next morning, I woke up with a smile on my face, knowing that the previous nights realisation was a positive step towards finding myself and my purpose. When my husband got up after sleeping off his night shift, we immediately started discussing the reality of it. Being a planner, he had done his research on his break at work so came armed with facts and possibilities with the like hood of each roughly estimated. We talked it all through and did some research together.

University had never seemed like an option for me. I was raised by a single mother who was never very finaciallly well off and assumed the ‘loan’ would be an eternal burden that we just couldn’t afford as a family. So, subliminally, we were encouraged to take more employable routes after school. I did culinary apprenticeships whilst working full time in kitchens. It was exhausting but I enjoyed it. It was only after 10 years in the industry and having children that it’s flaws became highlighted to me. The physical demand, unpredictablility and long, anti-social hours; it wasn’t exactly a career for someone with a young family! I had worked in some great places but my patience was completely exhausted on raising two toddlers, with none left over to deal with kitchen politics besides, I feared I just wouldn’t have the physical energy for it. After all, I used to be exhausted after a shift when I’d had a full nights sleep, let alone on interrupted sleep and chasing two very active toddlers around! I’d always been so grateful, proud and happy in my career. So much so that I’d started my own part time small business, so I could work around the kids. But when it came down to it, I wasn’t making an impact. Does cheffing make a difference? Unless you’ve worked your way up and are at the top of you’re career so have more control over everything, no. In reality, it’s putting food on plates. Filling someone’s stomach. Yes, nutrition is important and food does sustain you but it’s not really doing good or making much difference to the world.

“I GOT IN!!!!!” The words on the paper in front of me didn’t seem real, even as I relayed them to my husband, the reality was inconceivable. After a 4500 character, meticulously calculated personal statement, several interviews, months of waiting and infinite research, my acceptance letter was incredibly well received. I immediately shared my elation with my family, friends and all those who had helped me with advice, opinions or experience.

The months that followed were filled with preparations; enrolments, emails, applications for loans, sending and receiving letters and other formalities. Before I knew it, it was freshers week. As new students, we were invited to numerous events, parties and meetings. It was quite overwhelming but exciting nonetheless. Having been out of education for almost 10 years, I was a little flummoxed by the thought of going back to school. I had always been on the younger side of the college classes I was part of before but now I would be considered a ‘mature student’ surrounded by 18 year old who were only just leaving the nest. Not to mention the fact that I didn’t have the qualifications needed to start the degree, so I would first be attending a sixth form college to do a foundation course for a year beforehand, surrounded by 16 year olds, fresh from high school! So now, at 25, I am old.

Fast forward to now - having just completed my first week of my foundation course. I am exhausted. There is so much information and I am using parts of my brain that have been dormant for years. It’s not going to be easy by any stretch of the imagination, on the contrary: I expect many a breakdown! But I’m determined. I know I can, so I will. I have a goal and nothing will stand in my way of this, it’s too important. I need to be the good in the world. I want to represent the definition of humanity. And I will. You just wait and see…