Fail Better

I used to be terrified of failure.

And I mean terrified—like sweating before tests, avoiding challenges, and quitting things before I could even try. I thought failing meant I wasn’t good enough. That I had no talent. That I should just stay in my comfort zone and play it safe.

But life had other plans for me.

Let me take you back to the moment everything changed.

The Day I Crashed (Literally)

It was my final year of high school. I had just signed up for a big debate competition. It wasn’t mandatory. I joined because I wanted to prove something—to others and to myself. I’d always been scared of public speaking, but I thought, “Maybe if I push myself just once, I’ll overcome it.”

I practiced for weeks. Wrote every speech, rehearsed in the mirror, even recorded myself. I was nervous, but ready… or so I thought.

The day of the competition came, and the moment I stepped on stage, everything inside me froze. My palms were sweating, my heart was racing, and my mind went completely blank.

I stood there in silence.

Five seconds passed. Ten. Then I panicked and rushed through a shaky, half-forgotten version of my speech. My voice cracked. I lost my place. I could barely make eye contact.

When it was over, there was a painful silence in the room. I knew I had bombed it.

And I cried in the bathroom afterward.

The Aftermath: Shame, Embarrassment, and Regret

For weeks, I replayed that moment in my head. I couldn’t believe how badly I’d failed. I avoided anyone who had been there. I didn’t sign up for any more speaking events. I told myself, “This just isn’t for me.”

But something strange happened a month later.

One of the judges—an older woman I hadn’t spoken to that day—sent me an email. It said:

“You didn’t win, but I saw something brave in you. Most people don’t even try. You stood up, even when it was hard. That matters more than you know.”

I read it five times.

And for the first time, I started to look at my failure… differently.

What If Failing Was Part of the Process?

I began to think: What if that moment, as painful as it was, actually helped me grow? What if failing wasn’t the end—but the start?

That one thought opened a door.

I started reading stories of successful people—authors, athletes, entrepreneurs—and you know what they all had in common?

They failed. A lot.

J.K. Rowling was rejected by 12 publishers.

Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.

Walt Disney was told he had “no imagination.”

They didn’t avoid failure. They used it.

They failed better.

Failing Better vs. Failing Worse

There’s a difference between giving up and learning.

Failing worse is when you:

Quit completely

Blame others

Hide and never try again

Failing better is when you:

Reflect on what went wrong

Ask how you can improve

Come back stronger

After that debate competition, I slowly started to challenge myself again. I gave a small presentation in class. I spoke at a friend’s event. I practiced. I kept showing up.

It wasn’t always perfect. I still stumbled. But I got better.

One day, I gave a 10-minute talk at a youth conference—and when I finished, people clapped.

And this time, I didn’t cry in the bathroom.

Why Failure Is the Greatest Teacher

Here’s the truth I’ve learned:

Failure teaches you things success never can.

When you succeed, you feel good—but you don’t always grow.

When you fail, it hurts—but you learn.

You learn what to fix.

You learn what matters.

You learn who you are when things don’t go your way.

Failure builds something far more valuable than confidence.

It builds resilience.

The Fear of Looking Stupid

One of the biggest reasons people never try is because they’re scared of looking foolish.

But here’s something I promise you:

Nobody who has ever done something great got there without looking stupid at least once.

People laugh. People doubt you. Sometimes you even doubt yourself. But every time you get back up, you’re building something they can’t see: your future self.

And eventually, those same people who laughed will say, “Wow, I wish I had your courage.”

Final Thoughts: Try, Fail, Learn, Repeat

So now, whenever I feel scared of failing, I ask myself:

“What’s worse—failing, or staying the same forever?”

And every time, the answer is the same:

I’d rather fail forward than stay stuck.

If you’ve failed recently, I hope you know this:

It’s not the end. It’s a start.

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to keep showing up.

Because one day, the story you’re living right now—the one filled with doubts, setbacks, and awkward moments—will become someone else’s motivation.

All you have to do is fail better.