Confessions of a child with autism: We don't want to be alone

April 2 is World Autism Day. Many people will know about the fun April Fool's Day on April 1, but few pay attention to the fact that the next day is a day of care for a group that may not be so fun.

Autism, also known as autism, is the child from the stars. Sufferers have symptoms like the disease's name suggests, wanting to shut themselves off and being unable to interact normally with other people or even their families.

This group is not a minority, with one child in every 100 having autism. There are 3 million children with autism spectrum disorders in China between the ages of 0-18.

This pain, in addition to the sufferers themselves, spills over to their parents. Parents can't accept the fact that their child is so special and don't know how to help them. It's okay, but please be there for them, please don't give up on them, they need your company more than ordinary children.

01

"You can never really know a person until you walk around in their shoes", and the same is true for patients with special diseases

The heroine had a late-night car accident, and the hero and his uncle were rushed to the hospital, the doctor said: an examination to see that she is not seriously hurt. She is now asleep, and given that she does not want to use painkillers, sleep is very important to her, and her doctor as well. I suggest you come back in the morning, okay?

Instead, the uncle said to the hero: We need to leave someone behind.

The uncle, who had been through the war, said: The heroine's previous job was as an intelligence officer, do you know what an intelligence officer does? Go to poor areas to make people trust her, and then probably betray these people again. Do you think it's okay for her to drive out late at night?

I've been through the war and it took me 50 years to get out of it. Think about the first time you found me and what I had in front of me. A Qiang.

The hero listened to his uncle and decided to stay, after all, the heroine was a friend he cared about.

The hero waited all night, like the uncle said, but didn't ask anything. When he entered the ward in the morning, he also just stayed quietly with him.

The heroine finally spoke up about her situation: she could not always sleep at night, especially when she was alone. The child was about to go back to be with her ex-husband. She waited for the child to fall asleep and drove aimlessly into the wilderness by herself, driving faster and faster and hitting the railings.

In To Kill a Mockingbird, it is written, "You can never really know a man until you walk around in his shoes."

The male lead could not experience the inner pain of the female lead who had experienced the war, so he could not understand how great the damage would be, but it was the greatest comfort to know that she was sad and could be by her side.

This is true for many mental illnesses or emotional problems. For example, depression in teenagers, maternal postpartum depression, and autistic people, may not be able to understand their behavior or emotional outburst points, but they very much want their family and friends to be there.

02

Confessions of a 13-year-old autistic child: We are different from what you think, and you have a deep misunderstanding of us

I Want to Fly into the Sky" is written by Naoki Higashida, a 13-year-old child with severe autism, and it shows the real inner world of autistic children.

Naoki Higashida was unfortunate to be diagnosed with severe autism at the age of five, and he was unable to speak a complete sentence. He is also fortunate that his mother is always with him and has created for him a unique alphabetic grid in which he can express himself and which he uses to communicate with the world.

The book shows a different side of autistic children that we don't know, many of which may be different from what we think, and which can be a great help to caregivers of autistic children.

The number one misconception: "I don't like to be alone"

Many people will say this to a person with autism: "Don't worry about him, he prefers to be left alone."

Naoki Higashida says, "We want to stay with others. But because things never go well, we slowly adapt to being alone, without even realizing the process. Whenever I accidentally hear people comment on how much I like to be alone, I feel extremely lonely inside, and it's as if people come to leave us out on purpose."

Maybe others are afraid or unwilling to spend time with children with autism, but as a parent, try to spend as much time as possible with your child so they don't feel so scared and lonely inside.

The second biggest misconception: "It's not that I don't feel the caregiver's pain; if you are under pressure, I will suffer more"

When a caregiver says, "It's tiring to take care of these kids, you know!" You can't imagine how much more painful it would be for an autistic child to hear such words.

Naoki Higashida pleads, "I'm asking you, the people who spend all day with us, not to feel stressed because of us. When you are pressured, we feel that you are denying all the possible parents in our lives - and that kills the idea of us continuing to rise to the occasion. The greatest torture for us is to see that we have caused so much pain to others. We can cope well with our difficulties, but we can hardly bear the thought of our existence becoming a burden to others."

While an adult's breakdown can be crying screaming is anger, an autistic child's breakdown can be self-inflicted, overwhelmed, and a direct cut-off from the future.

It's hard to be gentle all the time, so please don't show your pain in front of these children who didn't do anything wrong and were born that way, show your desperate face because your child did something wrong.

The third major misconception: "It's not that we don't have feelings as delicate and complex as yours"

Naoki Higashida told the audience, "We also experience the same emotions as you do. Because we can't express ourselves very well, we are more sensitive than you are. I can't express my emotions properly, and my body doesn't listen to my brain very well, so survival itself is a challenge. And it's this sense of helplessness that drives us close to insanity, which leads to panic and mental breakdowns."

Parents and friends, it can be even more panic-inducing when you encounter a panicked and mentally broken child with autism.

Just stay by their side, watch them gently, and let them cry and vent to their heart's content. If they are in deep pain and can't help themselves, stop them from hurting themselves or others.

03

"I want to fly into the sky"

Naoki Higashida says in the afterword of the book, "I hope that after reading my explanation of autism and some of the doubts, you will slowly understand that the difficulties we face do not stem from our selfishness or arrogance. If you can understand, it will be like giving us a ray of hope. No matter how much hardship and pain autism brings to our lives, we can cope with it all if we have hope."

The title of the book is particularly good: "I Want to Fly Into the Sky," in which a child is plagued by an illness, but is always hopeful for the future because of his mother's compassion and companionship.

Autism, teenage depression, and postpartum depression are probably not uncommon in today's society. But many people still scoff at them, thinking that they are just unable to control their emotions, just "making it", living too comfortably, not knowing that they are suffering from great mental and physical pain, and are struggling to get back to a normal life track.

But the ridicule and sarcasm of friends and relatives, complaints and blows, may be the last straw that crushes them, they are not looking for "flying into the sky", but "flying into heaven"!

We learn to understand them, it may be difficult to understand, then please accompany them, tell them: "we are still here", this is the best encouragement and forcing needle it!

Life is not easy, and for these children from the stars, it will be even harder to walk.

The world is more tolerant and more respectful, to help them find their way home, and no longer stare at their strange behavior or clothing with judgment. Perhaps these children and their families will thank you with tears in their eyes!