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Where am I?

The lost and the wounded

By Katherine OrellanaPublished 3 years ago 6 min read
Where am I?
Photo by The DK Photography on Unsplash

Can you hear that? the unsettling feeling of your own silence, the breath of life coming into your nose as your heartbeat faster with each exhale. Can you see that? the underlining lights of life as the light-headness comes into play? "Grab the phone" says the little mind "go clean the dishes instead" says the little mind "you're pathetic what makes you think you can sit down for 5 minutes; you're wasting your time there is so much more things you need to do" says the little mind. As it continues, you almost feed onto the feeling of just getting up and doing those chores while self-pitying yourself for not being able to sit still for five minutes. The trick is to not follow the little mind, it is to start to listen to the soul of your own being.

We don't know anything as human beings, we are uneducated into the life of what reality really is. We are shown false factual events and told that they are the real deal: while behind the scenes life is being shown into a different reality. If I were to tell you that we are all in an illusion of what life really looks like would you believe me? or would you crucify me for being ill and not mentally stable? seems pretty overboard to compare the opposition as a crucifixion, but it gets the point across. We by nature are humans of order and chaos wrapped into one that rely on organizing each filtered information into categories that agree with our previous beliefs or what we believe as facts, but when a specific program is being tested and being pushed onto the forefront as a complete truth but it is a lie towards our little mind, our little mind sends signals to our beings as an attack to our entire identity causing a fight or flight reaction towards information that will end up being considered "insane" or not "factual".

So, let me ask you this, what does factual mean? What does Insane mean? and are they based on perspective or reality?

Bear with me, I know this seems tedious and quite honestly unnecessary, but entertain me for the time being. The Miriam webster dictionary definition of factual or FACT is a restricted to or based on fact; fact is something that has an actual existence, an actual occurrence, a piece of information presented as having objective reality, the quality of being actual. Insane means: exhibiting a severely disordered state of mind, unable to think in a clear or sensible way; used by, typical of or intended for people having a severely disordered state of mind. Perspective: a mental view or prospect, a visible scene, an international in which a subject or its parts are mentally viewed.

Why is it important to understand the definition of each word that i just mentioned? Well, to be able to understand the conclusion of my thought process, i had to explain each piece that comes with it, it is just as important as the whole picture.

Here are some things we can considered as I continue to explain how we are unaware of what reality really looks like, First thing, a perspective is based off of each individuals visible scene, here each object are mentally viewed. When i used the word object i mean the entirety of our 3-dimensional existence, matter. As this object is being viewed by this one individual, everything that the individual believes as fact will create a specific perspective on what they see, creating entire outlook on one. For example; imagine a died hard catholic women going to a brunch, she walks in the restaurant of her choice, she does not realize that this brunch has a themed of homosexuality, because of her background of being a catholic women who believes being gay is a sin, she would automatically see all of those people in the restaurant as sinners, devil worshippers and start praying with the rosary on the way out. Seems really over top for a person who loves God, but for someone who identifies themselves with their strong set of facts or a belief, that used to hold an existence of being true for a long time, can and at times react like this or in more severe ways. This is so important, how she viewed the people in the restaurant was a response towards a belief that rang in her mind as danger.

In recent science, we have all come to know that the perspective of a person, what they eat, what they see, what they believe, what they hold true, effects our entire organic being in all of the most sublest ways that you cannot truly know what is true. This amazed me to know because this meant that the term insane fits more then facts. Why is that? well if fact or truth in our 3-dimensional reality is created based off every individual's perspective, then as we raise our energetic beings we lose sight of the facts because of the perspective of little mind, the more physical aspects of our reality such as touch, smell heart and taste, are now less real, then we get lost in trying to find the truth within all the madness. It is like trying to find a pin a fiery haystack, without the pin actually being in the haystack, pretty difficult and kind of impossible to the restricted mattered version of ourselves. It is insane to tell someone they are lying from another persons eyes because at the end of the day fact is based of previous existence a belief that the individual witness and filtered through based off their own programming. We live in a level of insanity everyday believing that we are only our perpective belief and only one group of individuals are right.

It makes me laugh so hard, this means that no one is actually truly right, but it also means that no one is truly wrong. What does this do to the individuality of a person and how does even create our reality in the first place? Well for starters, this can caused in anyone a spiraled awareness of living in a world of lies, everything created had been programmed in to us as children to follow certain humanistic structures that went against Natural Law of the universe for purposes of having control. This is a false reality we live in, but it feels real because of the amount of focus, intentions and emotions towards our individuals being real.

It is why i question so hard, what am I? is i am only but an illusion of life living in a illusive reality, how can I say or speak like I am real when I am aware that I am not? I pondered, I wrote, I drank, I smoked, the frustration consumed me because of the never ending spiral or wanting to grasp a concrete understanding that I exist, that I am real and that I am in control based off my own personal experiences. But that is a lie our little mind tells us to keep us in the illusion of control, it is why when we meditate or try it starts to race with thousand in one questions or answers, why it has us hold onto our pride and pain and find justification towards them. It is why we have become so insane towards our reality that our insanity is considered normal, and sanity is considered insanity when it is the most jaded exploration of who we are as collective consciousness.

We learn every day, and to stop learning means we stop growing. We have so much unknown territory to explore, not only within our bodies but also towards the realities that each and every one of us has helped create. Whether you choose to believe to see or to hear is all on you, but it is a beautiful time to see how our lives are ascending to better connections and awareness where we do not need to comprehend everything but know that everything is connected and working out in our favor. The universe loves us, its time to say i love you back by allowing the unraveling of the one truth, unconditional love.

Humanity

About the Creator

Katherine Orellana

Peace and love beautiful beings, I am a student, a single mother of a baby boy and an amateur writer on the side who is passionate on writing stories about life, love and knowledge in a symbolic, metaphorical and out of this world way.

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