A Temporary Mouse

I saw something on the brink of yesterday. Although it hid from me. I saw what I could only take to be the end of my search. Something perfect, yet it was as fragile as the thin branches of a tall tree. It was something I yearned for, but hated with all of my will power. It ran from me, but I chased it, I dove from high above. My ears twitched at the slightest movement made by the little creature. As I dove I thought to myself. Is this really my livelihood? To chase, and never be chased. What’s the point of hunting if there is no excitement of being hunted. I would love to hide, deep beneath the snow and run through tunnels to feel the thrill of escape. I sometimes wish I wasn’t born to lurk in the trees. I wish I was given the excitement of being hunted, just for once. But perhaps I truly did have the sufferer’s life. I was the one responsible for killing. Maybe, it’s the strong ones who really feel the most pain. I can’t say much on this topic, I’m not a very learned owl.

After my thoughts completed themselves, my talons dug into the snow, the ugly little creature was in my grasp. I killed it with one quick swoop. When I landed, and feasted my thoughts ceased. I attributed it to the fact that my stomach was full. Just as any owl’s stomach should be.

-The owl with a full stomach

It was a cold day, the day I died. I had decided to go on a small retreat to my favorite spot along the frozen river. It often calmed me down from a stressful day of trying not to die. I had collected more food today than I had all last week. It’s been a good day really, up to the point of my thoughts ending. I think perhaps I didn’t spend my life the way I should’ve. I think I was too focused on myself, to realize what else was out there. You know that feeling, dear friend who resides within me. When all your life flashes before you. Being raised up to avoid being seen, and yet always I always wanted the opposite. I wish I was not a creature of the shadows, and the crevices. I wish I had never given to this life of secrecy. And yet it was also the resistance to it that caused me to find the end. The end of all things that I thought would last forever. Maybe it’s for the better. After all, dear friend, you can see how conflicted I am in these final moments. Being hunted isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I thought it would be exciting. But instead it just felt like it was supposed to happen. I wish, for myself, that I had pursued a different profession. Perhaps I could’ve been a house mouse, or a church mouse. I think I should’ve realized the temporary nature of being a field mouse. I had never realized how sharp owl talons are. Seeing as I’ve never died before. And maybe this was the last worldly knowledge I needed to be complete. What would I know, I’m not a church mouse.

Today I died, but it didn’t even excite my nerves. Not because I wanted this to happen, but because it feels like it was supposed to. My ramblings as my life flashes before my eyes, one last time seem a little less important now. Perhaps I was never supposed to live forever. Or perhaps, it was the fact that I ate well today. There was no hunger in my stomach. And I think that made dying easier.

-A temporary mouse