Wait… Am I The Horse?

This is a continuation of my review of the animated television show, BoJack Horseman!

The first part can be found below:

Season 1, Part 1:

Episode 7: Say Anything

Continuing on with the first season in this seventh installment, we get a Princess Carolyn episode!

This was exciting to me. I like Princess Carolyn; she was one of my favorites from the start, and this episode was such an intriguing look into her life and her character.

PC is BoJack’s agent, as well as his ex-girlfriend, and we’ve seen her very professionally and humorously navigate the two throughout the show thus far. She respects and believes in BoJack as an actor and a true talent, but she has little to no faith in him as a person, which is a very interesting dynamic. This is especially because as both his agent and his ex, she really cares about him, even though the general consensus from everyone else is that she should just give up on him—and for good reason.

We get a day in the life of Princess Carolyn—and we immediately see now more than ever that she’s a workaholic little cat. Her high-stress job distracts her from feelings of loneliness and her fear of failure, especially when dealing with constant challenges all throughout her days. She deals with BoJack, who is trying to recovering from the massive bender he went on after hearing Diane was engaged, in both a work and romantic sense. BoJack dodges the work and jobs she graciously gets him and is instead intently trying to date her again, buttering her up with attention and talking about his regrets for leaving her.

PC decides to do something for herself for a change by giving BoJack another chance; of course, as she knew it would, it falls through. BoJack receives a call from his estranged best friend Herb in the middle of their date and leaves shortly after to go see him. Before that, he bluntly tells Princess Carolyn that they don’t love each other; they’re just two lonely people trying to hate themselves a little less, and maybe that’s what they always were.

Princess Carolyn is both disappointed and wholly unsurprised by the turn the night takes. She knows they don’t love each other and that BoJack is in love with Diane, but feeling the pressure of being single, middle-aged, and lonely with only her responsibilities at work keeping her company, she put a little bit of faith in BoJack to take her out and give her a good time for the night. Unfortunately, this was not the case.

PC decides devoting herself solely to her work will be the thing she will do from now on; she’s good at it, and it makes her feel good. She manages to turn the bad situations she was given at work around and gets BoJack a major role in a film; when she excitedly calls him to deliver the news, we see him and Diane in the car looking terrible, if not traumatized. He gives PC a vague, grave answer about not caring about that, saying nothing matters to him anymore. It’s a very somber moment that creates intrigue about what exactly there is to come in tbe next episode.

The starkest thing about this episode, though, is the ending. It concludes with a shot of Princess Carolyn all by herself, staring forlornly out her office window, after her phone declares to her that it’s her 40th birthday. It’s the darkest ending so far, and I was pleased to find upon further research that critics praised this episode for being the turning point of the series with this ending; I very much felt the same.

Episode 8: The Telescope

This is a heavy one. Buckle up, guys.

BoJack takes Diane, still writing his biography, with him to Malibu to see Herb Kazazz, BoJack’s old best friend. Diane and the audience learn through flashbacks that Herb was the one who got him his gig on Horsin’ Around, and when Herb was publicly outed and blacklisted, BoJack stabbed him in the back when he needed him the most by doing nothing to stop him from getting fired.

Bluntly, Herb tells BoJack that he doesn’t forgive him. BoJack, who struggles to accept this, is told rather harshly by Herb that he has absolutely no obligation to forgive BoJack, especially since he knows BoJack just wants acceptance of the apology to make himself feel better after Herb is gone. Herb tells BoJack he knows he’s going to die, and that unlike him, who will find a sense of freedom in death from his suffering, BoJack will not get that same freedom. He will have to live on with the shitty mistake he’s made for the rest of his life.

On his way out. BoJack sees the telescope Herb had given him the day he got the part on Horsin’ Around. He picks it up, and Herb demands he leaves it where it is. The two end up in a physical altercation that is almost painful to watch, seeing as Herb is still attached to an IV and in a hospital gown. Herb calls him selfish and a coward, and BoJack, furious, leaves with Diane shortly after.

The ride back home is incredibly tense. It’s shocking to me that an animated scene can seem so real. You feel the dread and awkwardness in that car so prominently; I could barely stomach watching it.

BoJack is clearly numb from the situation. He gets out of the car and tells Diane she can put all that in the book; he doesn’t care what people think of him anymore. Diane tells BoJack he did the right thing, and caught up in the complicated emotions of the moment, he kisses her—an engaged woman, mind you, as well as the person responsible for writing his biography. She immediately backs away, shocked, and gets back in the car.

This episode is a total calamity for BoJack in so many ways. In the earlier backstory this episode, we see he wanted to pursue Charlotte, his and Herb’s other friend; he never had the courage too. He was too convinced and insecure that Charlotte would be courted by Herb, who happened to be gay. He wants to fix things with Herb; it goes the opposite way of how he wanted it to. He wants Diane; Diane doesn’t want him, and he can’t have her. It’s a constant timeline of losses for BoJack, seemingly, in the context of his keeping relationships with the only people who truly care about him.

It’s painful watching BoJack pursue trying to get an apology out of Herb, because he so clearly wants it only for himself. He wants the relief of having what he’s done off his shoulders before Herb passes away. Same thing with Diane—he loves how she makes him feel more than he loves her as a person, even though he does indeed like her a lot. His inherent self-centeredness, coupled with the power of his insecurity, make for a very toxic mix indeed, and we see BoJack have to face his flaws head on here in the darkest, most heart-wrenching episode of the show—thus far.

Just wait until Episode 11.

Episode 9: Horse Majeure

Besides some devastating moments and quotes, this episode is—somehow—a lot more lighthearted. It feels like some mild relief after the devastation and heaviness of the previous one, which was quite nice.

Diane and BoJack, still reeling after the kiss, make incredibly awkward conversation until Diane bolts from the car. BoJack, devastated, drives back home alone, and Diane goes home to her fiancé Mr. Peanutbutter, who has lost his license due to chasing the mailman. He is a dog, after all.

A few days later, Diane goes to BoJack and tells him she has enough material to write his book without any further research needed—this is clearly due to the new awkwardness of their situation and her desire not to be around him. Diane, stressed about the current state of her life, feels that everything is too much: BoJack, the book, and her intricate wedding plans with her fiancée. She and Mr. Peanutbutter agree to move up the date of their wedding and have a smaller, less stressful ceremony.

BoJack, being BoJack, attempts to get Todd and Princess Carolyn to help him ruin the wedding. PC, immensely unimpressed with BoJack’s unchanged antics, refuses. She begins flirting with a new guy in front of BoJack to make him jealous (the guy is actually just some kids stacked under a trench coat—don’t worry about it). Todd agrees to help BoJack, but is caught by Mr. Peanutbutter in the middle of planting suspicious evidence in his house; Mr. Peanutbutter naively believes Todd is there to apply to be his new personal driver, which he was looking for, and he enthusiastically gives him the job.

Next, BoJack attempts to ruin the wedding plans by hiring a woman to steal Diane’s engagement ring at the bank. Mr. Peanutbutter makes a big show of selflessness and compassion by saying she can take it and that the ring is just a physical item that cannot take away the love they truly have for each other. Diane is drawn closer to him in admiration for his display of love, and her doubts and fears about the marriage are lessened. They decide to move the wedding even closer, this time within the week.

Mr. Peanutbutter honestly tells Todd about his doubts about marrying Diane, even saying sometimes he dreams that she is out of his life and the first thing he feels is a sense of relief. Todd, after learning the woman BoJack hired for the bank robbery was the same woman he hired to get Todd back into video games and keep him home and unsuccessful back in the fourth episode, keeps this information from BoJack.

BoJack (hilariously) gets stuck at jury duty until the day before the wedding. He tries to rush there on the day of with the intent of telling Diane how he feels, but Todd stops him. He tells BoJack he doesn’t need to tell Diane how he feels; Diane knows how he feels, and she’s made her choice. He angrily tells BoJack to stop ruining other people’s lives and happiness. BoJack listens and attends the wedding peacefully. He reconciles with Diane, apologizing about making things weird between them.

Episode 10: One Trick Pony

Urged on by his agent Princess Carolyn, BoJack halfheartedly accepts a role playing Mr. Peanutbutter in a film adaptation of the sixth canonical episode of BoJack Horseman, where Mr. Peanutbutter (but really, BoJack) steals the D from the Hollywood sign as a symbol of love for Diane. It’s been turned into a movie, which is hilarious and super creative by the show writers.

Todd begins throwing out suggestions to the director Quentin Tarantulino (who is, of course, a tarantula), who takes an immediate liking to his absurdity and takes Todd under his wing. After Todd starts working on the movie, BoJack’s character and part are immensely reduced, and Diane’s character is made significant—much to the annoyance of the actress playing Diane, who was searching for the role of a flat character for once. Suspecting Todd is getting back at him for the horrible things BoJack has done to him, he confronts Todd for limiting his scenes on purpose. Todd heatedly tells BoJack this isn’t the case at all and that all his suggestions to change the movie were genuine, leaving BoJack feeling guilty.

Diane finally completes BoJack’s biography for him, entitled One Trick Pony. As the title suggests, BoJack feels the book depicts him in a rather pathetic and negative light. BoJack, furious at Diane, goes to her and accuses her of writing about what a “big, dumb loser he is” for the entire book instead of painting a somewhat likable picture of his life. Diane insists that the book will make him come across as overly vulnerable and sympathic, but BoJack demands she rewrites it. Instead, Diane uses her connect with her ex-boyfriend to leak the first few chapters of the book to Buzzfeed out of spite.

On the set of the movie, BoJack hears his coworkers laughing at him and about personal details of his life. He learns about the leaks and goes to Diane again, furious and disbelieving. Diane says she only leaked it to prove how much readers would connect with the book and sympathize with BoJack, saying again that the book will be a hit success and bolster both of their careers. This falls on deaf ears though, and BoJack, his trust betrayed, fires her.

This is an important episode for Diane. We get to see the uglier side of her, the side that is ruthlessly confident in her skills and ambitions as a writer and hard-pressed, even desperate, to do anything to succeed in her field. She’s been through so much drafting BoJack’s book, and she is intent on getting it out there no matter what. Although BoJack is a huge asshole, he’s absolutely right to be angry with Diane for leaking the chapters without his consent.

On the other hand, BoJack’s insecurity weighs him down immensely here. As someone who is already somewhat of a joke in the industry, he doesn’t want to be seen as one even more, which is understandable. But he stubbornly refuses to publish the book out of sheer self deprecation, not thinking of all the time and effort Diane poured into it, and into him, to write it.

Episode 11: Downer Ending

This episode, guys. Holy hell. Lock in for this one.

The publishing house pleads with BoJack to let them publish Diane’s book, but BoJack vehemently refuses. He says he can write something else in time for the one-week deadline. Diane, frustrated, doesn’t believe that for a second—nor should she.

Of course, once BoJack gets home and starts writing his own book, he can’t concentrate at all. He procrastinates by calling over Todd and Sarah Lynn for some help. For some inspiration, they do drugs—a lot of them. We see BoJack’s drug-fueled, cryptic hallucinations about his various feelings, insecurities, and fears. I can’t quite explain in words how impressive and weird and creative the animation depicts the hallucinations they all have, but it was fascinating to watch.

In the midst of their high, BoJack goes to Todd and nervously brings up his previous sabotage of his career (see Episode 4) to him. Todd matter-of-factly tells him he’s moved past it by learning not to expect much from BoJack in the first place, which makes BoJack feel terrible.

We also get a devastating scene—the final hallucination, where BoJack envisions the life he could have had with Charlotte, his and Herb’s old friend, where they live together in the woods and happily raise their daughter. The scene after that, where BoJack wakes up in a parking lot, high and freezing cold in the rain, is absolutely heartbreaking. How fast that blissful reality seems to fade into the real, dark, lonely one BoJack is living.

He is awoken by a call from Princess Carolyn, who tells him the book he wrote is illegible and unfit for publishing. BoJack accepts this without complaint and instead goes to find Diane, who is at a tiny ghostwriting convention. And what comes next is probably my favorite moment in the entire season of the show.

He steps up to the podium to ask a question, much to Diane’s surprise, and apologizes to her. He tells her he doesn’t care about her book being published anymore and that others can think whatever they want of him; he only cares what she thinks, and he only hated the book so much because it made him feel like that’s the way she sees him.

He begs her to tell him that it’s not too late for him, that he can change and doesn’t have to be doomed to be himself forever—that deep down, he’s a good person. He needs to hear that the bad things he’s done are because of his trauma or his upbringing, not because of his inherent nature, and he needs to hear it from someone he loves. But Diane just stares at him, unable to tell him what he wants to hear.

The tearjerker scene’s tension is broken by one of the few audience members standing and excitedly asking if BoJack is the horse from Horsin’ Around, a running joke, which was quite funny. Besides that, this episode was a sucker punch to the heart and filled me with a devastating emptiness. There’s really not much more to say than that.

Episode 12: Later

The final episode opens with a young BoJack watching his idol Secretariat on TV. Secretariat answers a question sent in from BoJack on the talk show about what he does when he’s sad. BoJack, excitedly watching from home, tries hard to hear the answer, but his parents are fighting too loudly for him to hear. What we hear from him, and what BoJack doesn’t, is to keep running no matter what and focus on the future. A month later, after Secretariat was exposed for cheating and betting on his own races, he commits suicide by jumping off a bridge. Oof.

This was immensely sad as an opener; we see BoJack not be able to hear the advice from his idol about keeping his eyes on the future, as he is presently still so fixated on the past and could have benefitted greatly from hearing those words. We also see not only the tragic death of Secretariat himself but what his suicide represents: the death of BoJack’s childhood innocence, and his dreams with it.

In the meanwhile, BoJack’s career has been kickstarted by the hit success of the memoir. He uses this momentum to chase his dream of starring as Secretariat in a producer’s (Lenny Turtletaub—turtle) movie. He auditions, only to later hear Andrew Garfield got the role; you can’t beat Garfield.

Diane, at the same time, struggles with both her career and her morality. She has to decide between being a character consultant on the Secretariat film or flying overseas for months on end to write a popular philanthropist’s biography. She chooses the easier, less morally principled choice and goes with the character consultant position.

Mr. Peanutbutter and Todd are busy being silly and stupid with various new business ideas. They end up indirectly injuring Andrew Garfield, incapacitating him for the role, and the director for the film calls BoJack and tells him he’s got the part.

BoJack finds Diane and the two share a moment on the rooftop together, reflecting on their past together. BoJack talks about finally achieving his dream and what that could mean for him, and Diane brings up her new job and tells him they’ll be working together again. She brings up the last time she saw BoJack, when he’d asked her if she thought he was a good person deep down. When BoJack lightly probes her for an answer, she responds she doesn’t really believe in “deep down” and that we all are a culmination of the things we do. BoJack says that that’s a depressing reality, and adds that he really wanted Diane to like him; Diane tells him that she knew that all along.

The first season ends with BoJack in front of the observatory at Griffith Park, the place where Herb first broke the news to him that he’d gotten the part in Horsin’ Around. He signs a young horse’s autograph, and the young horse excitedly declares to him that BoJack is his hero. Struck by this, the show ends with a contemplative BoJack looking out over the city.

Watching BoJack Horseman felt like… a lot. A whole lot. There’s a ton of very heavy emotions that emanate off from these episodes, and there’s a lot of love and care and humor as well. But the takeaway from this show thus far is the rawness of it. BoJack shows us the darkest and most vulnerable parts of his life, with love, fame, trauma, and self destruction all a part of it. Through him, we all listen, see, and painfully relate. It’s very much like looking into a mirror and seeing the worst qualities of ourselves reflected back at us. It forces the watcher to ruminate on themselves in all our flawed humanity.

Like a punch to the gut, or a stab to the heart, BoJack Horseman sends you into the spiral of: I hate this horse. I hate this horse. Haha, the horse is funny, but I still hate him. But wait—in some ways, in many ways, I am the horse. And I don’t want to be the horse. I want to be better than the horse. I want to try to be better than the horse. And that’s more than BoJack can really say and mean, at least this far.

Thank you guys so much for reading! Until season 2! ♥️