Thou Shalt Judge
A Friendly Little Challenge to Vocal from Iris Obscura, patron saint of questionable metaphors and bad decisions
Vocal, darling, we need to talk.
And yes, I know that sentence has the same energy as “we found something on your X-ray,” but stay with me.
I’ve been watching these challenges play out, submitting my own tiny word-goblins into your gladiator pit, and something curious keeps happening.
A pattern.
A drift.
A subtle slide away from the wild and the original toward… neatness.
Palatability.
The literary equivalent of a dry cracker smiling politely.
And look, I love winning things as much as the next gremlin with a keyboard and unaddressed parental issues, but we need to address the lurking question none of us are supposed to ask:
Who exactly are the judges?
Like, are they literary prodigies with ink-stained fingers and broken hearts?
Decorated professors who whisper Rilke to their houseplants?
Community leaders who run poetry workshops for at-risk pigeons?
Or is it someone’s nonna, sitting with a cup of Sunday tea, judging erotica prompts while clutching a rosary and muttering, “Lord forgive this girl, she knows not what she does.”
Because here’s the thing, Vocal:
If you’re deciding what writing deserves to rise, the people deserve to know who’s holding the elevator buttons.
I’m not asking for their home addresses or what brand of kombucha they cry into at night.
Just a name.
A face.
A tiny bio.
A link.
Anything more substantial than the mysterious “Our Judges™,” which currently sounds like a clandestine council of robed figures chanting over a malfunctioning printer.
Let us see who curates our craft.
Let us know the lens through which our originality is being sifted.
Let us celebrate them, blame them, send them cookies, or at least gently stalk their Goodreads shelves like normal writers.
Transparency isn’t scary.
It’s… basic decency.
And honestly, after the number of emotional support cigarettes I’ve smoked over challenge results (metaphorically, please relax), I think I’ve earned the right to see who’s patting my work on the head or kicking it down a stairwell.
So here it is, my official challenge:
Vocal, reveal your judges. Or at least link their bios to the challenges they judge.
Show us the humans behind the curtain.
Give your creators the courtesy of context.
Signed,
Iris Obscura
your messy, caffeinated, perpetually confused participant,
writing from a pit of existential glitter and half-feral hope.
About the Creator
Iris Obscura
Do I come across as crass?
Do you find me base?
Am I an intellectual?
Or an effed-up idiot savant spewing nonsense, like... *beep*
Is this even funny?
I suppose not. But, then again, why not?
Read on...
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Standing While Falling
Quotation from Friedrich Nietzsche "He who wrestles long with monsters should beware lest he himself become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you. Man is not destroyed by suffering, but by the meaning he makes of it."
By LUCCIAN LAYTH4 days ago in Critique
Comments (3)
“Gremlin with a keyboard” …. I feel seen with this line 😂 Great piece, Iris. Hopefully you - and all of us - see some type of response from the admins, editors, or whatever their name is.
Wow, you really got inside my head with this one (usually the place is a mess and no invitations are given). I agree with you about the transparency issue. Most of the contests I submit to at least let you know who hates your work, and it also seems that a certain type of scribbler gets the laurels. Let's see if they're listening.
-Or is it someone’s nonna, sitting with a cup of Sunday tea, judging erotica prompts while clutching a rosary and muttering, “Lord forgive this girl, she knows not what she does.” 😂😂😂 Very valid questions... Love the (intended or not intended) humorous take on this. Maybe they're all AI judges taught to come up with a shortlist full of tearjerking material and humans make the final call. Who knows, but I do remember someone asking the same questions (not as eloquently as you) and the answer was simply- anonymity. Maybe it's time for them to do away with that. Like you said, we don't need their addresses or phone numbers but knowing a little background may help with the angles we choose. Good one, Iris. Hope you get a response.