Why Men Must Prioritize Their Sanity Over Relationships

Let’s get right to the point, too many men, particularly those living abroad, are enduring forms of abuse at the hands of their partners. Having witnessed this firsthand and heard countless painful stories, it’s time we have an unapologetic conversation about what some African men experience in relationships. It's a brutally real issue that no one seems to be discussing openly, and it's high time we change that.

Recently, while going about my day, I came across a video that exemplified the struggles many men face in relationships. The man in the video was Ghanian, and the mistreatment he endured was alarming. This isn’t just an isolated incident; it mirrors the experiences of many men I’ve talked to who feel trapped in toxic relationships, often left feeling degraded and less than human. The question is, why would any man allow this to happen to him?

Many men find themselves in these situations because they fail to prioritize their own mental health and well-being. It’s essential to remember that women, like men, are human—capable of great kindness and profound cruelty. This reality often surprises those who romanticize relationships, leading them into toxic dynamics that leave them feeling trapped. No one deserves to feel disrespected, abused, or taken advantage of, regardless of the circumstances.

In my own life, I cherish my four wives deeply, but there’s one fundamental truth they all understand: I will not tolerate disrespect or toxicity. The moment I sense that from anyone, I’m out the door. Why? Because my peace and sanity matter more than any relationship. This mindset is crucial for every man to adopt.

If you're in a situation where you’re being mistreated, walk away. It doesn’t matter how much love you think you have for that person or how long you’ve been together. Your mental health and dignity are far more valuable than clinging to a toxic relationship.

I’ve personally left relationships where I invested heavily—emotionally and financially—only to realize they no longer align with my values. When others see me walk away, they often wonder how I can do it. The secret lies in rejecting the sunk cost fallacy. This is the misguided belief that you should continue investing time and resources into something simply because you’ve already put so much in.

Too many individuals allow this fallacy to dictate their decisions, and it often leads them to stay in damaging relationships or projects. In contrast, I don’t let previous investments dictate my future. If something no longer serves my interests or aligns with my values—even after substantial investment—I'm ready to walk away without a glance back.

This doesn’t make me cold or heartless; it’s a strategy for self-preservation. Understand your worth. Your time, energy, and peace of mind are far more important than anything you've already invested.

The liberation this mindset offers is astounding. Many remain stagnant, fearful of what they might lose by leaving. What they often fail to see is that the price of staying in a toxic situation is losing themselves over time. I’d rather lose money, time, or even a relationship than sacrifice my sense of self. That’s a cost I’m simply not willing to pay.

When faced with criticism for walking away after investing so much, my response is straightforward: I value myself far more than the losses I might incur. This perspective is vital for every person, not just men. Life is too precious to waste on relationships or situations that do not serve you.

Yes, know when to hold on, but more importantly, learn when to let go. This is how you maintain your sanity and, ultimately, how you win at life.

Take a moment to watch that video and witness the consequences of men who don’t leave abusive situations. Ask yourself: Is this the life you want? If the answer is no, you must take action. Stop putting up with the unacceptable. Stop allowing anyone—man or woman—to treat you as if you’re less than what you truly are.

You deserve much better, but the power to demand that lies within you. So, prioritize your mental health, know your worth, and embrace the freedom that comes with making tough decisions for your well-being. It’s time to reclaim your autonomy and truly honor the self-worth that each one of us carries.