True stories from inside Federal Prison

“Bloody Beaumont”. That was the name given to one of the most violent prisons in the Federal System. Located in Beaumont Texas, Bloody Beaumont got it’s name based off the amount of stabbing and assaults that took place daily at the facility. And this was my home in 2012.

I know people have heard all the violent tales of prison life and yes, prison can be a violent place. But prison can also be a place of great entertainment. For example, let me set the scene for you:

In Beaumont, when the prison releases the Inmates for Breakfast, Lunch or Dinner we are all ushered to one building called the “chow hall”. This is where it all goes down. Not only do you receive all your meals here but it’s where all the deals go down too. Understand this, in the Chow Hall is where everyone in the prison can meet. It is the only place the entire prison can gather in one place. That’s the good part. The other side of that coin is that with so many people in one location, problems are bound to happen. To help prevent this the officers have established strict procedures for entering and exiting the Chow Hall.

first, All Inmates must pass through a metal detector before entering the Chow Hall. In addition, if an Officer feels the need, an Inmate can be subjected to a Pat Down Search. Which is a basic pat down of a persons body. This is to insure that no contraband like weapons, drugs, or other items like salt and pepper, or food condiments don’t enter into the Chow Hall. Next, when an Inmate leaves the Chow Hall, they again may be subjected to a pat down. This time it is to insure the Inmate did not take anything from the Chow Hall. See it is forbidden to take any portion of your meal back with you. Everything must be consumed then and there. This is the procedure throughout the Federal system, it never changes no matter what prison you are in.

Now at this time I had been in prison for about 8 years so I’m well aware of the Chow Hall procedures. But every now and then us Inmates get a opportunity to F**k with the guards. I had my opportunity one day coming out of the Chow Hall after the Dinner Meal.

As I left the Chow Hall I seen there was a line of about 7 officers waiting to perform pat searches on the Inmates as they exited. Knowing that I was clean (no contraband on my person) I decided to ask a question to the officers. I had been living at the prison for about one week when this took place, so I was unfamiliar with the facility and it’s procedures for everything. Like getting a hair cut. Usually there is a set schedule on who and when hair cuts are given. And each prison has their own schedule. So when I approached one of the guards, this was my intention. And it was going smoothly at first. Until…

So I step up and ask one of the guards “excuse me, could you tell me how to go about getting a hair cut?” The guard is helpful so he says “it depends on what building you live in” so I tell him. But before the guard I was talking to could respone, his co-worker buddy felt the need to speak. “Oh you ain’t got nothing coming”. As polite as I could, I said “I’m not talking to you,I’m talking to him” and then turned round to finish my conversation. To any prison guard, this was a challenge from an inmate. I’m not supposed to talk back nor was I expected to tell him to mind his business. The next thing I heard from him was “ oh you a wise ass, get over here and turn around.”

Now me being me, I knew exactly what he wanted. He wanted to pat search me. A lot of guards would you the pat search as a means to belittle a person. The actions say “come here and submit to me touching all over you.” But what he said was, come over here and turn around. So what did I do? I walked right up in front of him, looked him in the eyes, and did a 360 turnaround. When I was done I looked him in the eyes again like, what? You said turn around. This brought the redneck out of him because he turned beet red in seconds. Part of his embarrassment came from the fact that four or five of his fellow guards witnessed this exchange and was laughing. “ I’m going to tell you one more time, turn around.” He bellowed as his anger flared. And what did I do? Another 360 turn, but this time no one was laughing. The guards couldn’t believe that I was bold enough to challenge them. “ How long you been locked up.” He asked me. “ 8 years” I stated. Looking confused he said, “ 8 years and you never been pat searched?” “oooh” I said with a faked expression of confusion myself. “I didn’t know what you wanted. I was about to file sexual harassment charges against you because I thought you kept looking at my ass. You need to be more clear in your directives “ I told him. See, this was about power and authority. He wants to show me that he has the power and authority over me, and I want him to know that I have power and authority over myself. This is the consistent battle between inmate and prison guard.

I admit, some people in prison need constant supervision. They have demonstrated the inability to self govern. However, there are some, like myself, who come to realize their true power and this then gives them authority over themselves. In the end I still got searched, they always get their way. But my reward came in the form of his embarrassment, he wasn’t able to intimidate an inmate in front of his colleagues.