The Serious Issues of Mental Health.. the scars that no one can see….

Yes.. i have mental health issues!! Mine is from the trauma i suffered as a 36 year old mother of 2, when my husband was shot and killed in Victoria back in 2001. I cant even begin to explain how i felt at the time, but i do know, that if i didnt have my 2 children, aged 11 and 8.. that i probably wouldnt be here either!!

This is stuff that happens on tv.. not in real life!! And as the years went on, i learned more and more about what happened that i struggled to deal with.. it still shocks me today.. 24 years later.. This was under belly stuff!! This story is about an unsolved murder and what i believe to be police corruption… and how it changed my life, my mind and the way i view people. From every day people to high profile people..

Money is a powerful force and people will go to great lengths to get it… you can earn it.. steal it.. gamble it.. whatever.. . it ruins relationships. Friendships.. and some will kill for it..

What i have learnt in the past 24 years is that you can trust no body. Trust is something i struggle with on a daily basis.. and in the past 24 years there has been times i have let my guard down and trusted only a few.. only to be hurt and let down once again.. making my already mental health issues worse..

My name is Shelley Boyd and i was married to Wayne Boyd for 14 years until his death on the 9th November 2001.

The first thing i noticed about Wayne was that he was driven.. he had a burning desire to get ahead in life.. Anyone i have met since then that has that same drive has become successful. You dont need a degree or to have completed high school. If your born with it. You will get it..

Wayne was 25 years old and i was 22. We met through mutual friends at a restaurant where i ended up being seated next to him..he pushed to see me again.. and was persistant about it. He basically chased me until i gave in to him.

At the time, he was still struggling with the break up of his previous relationship that had lasted for 7 years. During that time, him and his partner had started a boat upholstery business on the Gold Coast that thrived. This was Waynes first encounter with the power of money. They both worked hard, could but whatever they wanted and lived a good life. He bought cars and boats and became the envy of friends his same age. But when his partner wanted to end the relationship.. Wayne started to spiral downhill. He ignored the business. Was drinking heavily. Sleeping with any women he could.. and taking drugs to help ease his pain. By the time i met Wayne, he lived in a house on the beach at main beach that later on ended up condemded by Energex and the only remains of a man who once had alot of money, was a bright yellow speed boat tucked away in a dodgy shed on the property. I remember him showing me a picture in a boat magazine… actually it was a double page spread in this magazine .. of him driving the boat on the broad water. It was over head shot of him driving very fast crashing over waves. I didnt believe it was him at the time, until he showed me the boat in the shed.

It was the year 1988 and i had moved to the Gold Coast from Victoria at 21 years old. The Gold Coast was full of loosers!! Surfies on the dole.. hardly anyone owned a car.. and hardly anyone had a job. Very different from Victoria where it was strange to find anyone that didnt work.

But the Gold Coast had blue skies, beautiful tanned and thin people and the beach was your back yard. My parents divorced when i was 6 or 7 and i went to live with my mother.. she struggled financially, but my father on the otherhand thrived in the company he worked for a became a very rich man. So i had a taste of both worlds. I found that my friends at the time loved these cute surfie guys with their sun bleached wavy hair and cute faces.. that preferred catching waves instead of finding a job.. they would go weak at knees around these guys and hope that maybe one day these guys would consider being with them. I could never see the attraction. Yeah the were cute, as long as they didnt speak.. i was just not attracted to loosers..

When i met Wayne i had a car.. one thing that very few people owned on the Gold Coast. I always owned a unit that my sister and i purchased with the help of my father, in Surfers Paradise. Walking distance to the beach and the night life.. the unit cost $70,000 brand new and was bought off the plan. Dad put down $50,000 and myself and my sister got our first mortgage for $25.000. The extra $5.000 we spend on furnishing the place..

The night i met Wayne, he walked me back to my car which he didnt believe i owned until i unlocked the door. If Wayne was attracted to me before.. well owning that car attracted him even more!! When he found out i owned a unit in the heart of Surfers Paradise .. made him obsessed.

Im not saying that he fell for me for what i had.. i felt he was like me.. where i was attracted to men that had goals, a job.. etc etc. and he was a the same. Plus there weee so many gold digging women on the Gold Coast that it wasnt funny!!

So, like i said earlier!! The poweful force of money actually bought us together.. but hey. I may of owned my car and a unit. But i was no way wealthy by any stage. I worked in a pub.. i got better money working in the pub, with penalty rates on the weekend than what i did as a data processor working for Telstra.. so i ditched it for pub work.

You may be bored at this point but these few vital details are key to what my future life became and the lead up to Waynes murder. These are the things that started my mental health journey and how my over thinking Pisces brain lead me to dissect human beings and the how cruel they can be to each other without showing any remorse.. and lastely.. MONEY .. how powerful it is and what it does to people.