The Goddess And The Accountant

1

The middle-aged man with the unfortunate mustache and ill-fitting suit had just finished his second whiskey when the head waiter appeared out of nowhere like only head waiters can.

“Sir. Would you like an appetizer while you wait?”

The mustached man didn’t acknowledge him for a full five count, but when he finally looked up his eyes were clear.

“No, thank you. I am going to wait for my party to join me. Can I get another whiskey in the meantime?”

The head waiter, Alphonse, had been working the dining room at George’s for over thirty years. He had not lasted that long at the fine dining room by over serving drunks. Nor had he survived for so long by arguing with customers, especially belligerent drunks. The man in the ill-fitting suit certainly had the look of a guy who could be a belligerent drunk. Alphonse signed inwardly and thought about retiring for not the first time that night. But what would he do with his wife, Alice, every day?

“Of course, sir, I will be right back.” Alphonse glided out as quietly as he had appeared.

The middle-aged man, Keith Lumley, sighed and looked at his watch. 38 minutes was how long he had been sitting in George’s drinking whiskey waiting for his date, and while he was at least another three drinks from feeling the alcohol he was starting to wonder if he had been stood up. The accountant hadn’t had a date in the 6 months since his wife had left, and it was depressing to think his first attempt could be a no show. He would have one more drink, and if his date hadn’t show wasn’t there he would leave.

2

At that exact same minute, Rachel Blake was regretting taking the taxi service instead of Uber. She knew the middle eastern man behind the wheel using his phone as GPS was a bad pick about 2 minutes after they drove off, but it was a bit too late, wasn’t it? 30 minutes later they had driven by her house again (her house) and she got him to pull over for her directions. George’s was her favorite restaurant, and she was more upset about missing out on the prospect of Veal Milanese than her date. Well, the date was not her idea, was it? Her sister, Joan, had set it up.

“Rachel, when was the last time you went out with a nice guy?”

“Oh, Joan, I don’t know.” Rachel did know quite well, actually. The next time she dated a nice guy would be her first. All of the men in her life had ended up being cut from the same cloth; Here for a good time, not along time. Just like Dad had been with his lady friends.

“Rachel, Keith is a nice guy. He owns an accounting practice, he just loves his kids, everyone loves him. Rachel, I really think you will like him.” As Joan said this, she only felt a little guilty. Keith really wasn’t the nicest guy, but she needed the job and she needed him to stop staring at her cleavage so intently in the office right away. A quick glance was too be expected, but his eyes had been a little too intent lately. Rachel was the perfect solution, really. Men loved Rachel, and Keith would be immediately enthralled there was no doubt. So, she told Rachel what she was trying to do and why. It did take some convincing, but not that much really. Rachel was on board. Of course, she was, this was bigger than some unwanted attention. Much bigger. Rachel actually insisted, after all she loved her sister.

In the cab, Rachel Blake was happy to see the billboard George’s coming up. Next time, she was taking Uber she decided. For now, this taxi driver was NOT getting a tip, she decided as she started looking in her wallet for the crumpled bills her sister had provided for cab fare.

3

Keith Lumley was feeling low after 52 minutes sitting alone in the dining room, and his third whiskey was not really helping that. Keith knew he had been drinking too much since Cathy had left, heck before that if were to be honest. Next month was his birthday, too early to quit. The next month was Christmas, he couldn’t quit drinking during the Holidays, could he? That would be depressing, his first holidays with no family. January than, he would quit drinking in January.

A statuesque blond in a red trench coat opened the door, stepped in, and looked around quickly. Rachel Blake was the kind of woman guys crossed the street to take a look at all her life, and at 48 she was still a stunner. She may have had more wrinkles, but she carried herself with so much confidence that it didn’t matter. She did not dress provocatively because she didn’t have to. When she came through the door of George’s, the sound in the already quiet restaurant dropped a full octave. All the men in the dining room noticed Rachel, but she ignored them all except for the balding guy sitting alone. She caught the attention of everyone in the room, and when Keith looked up, she met his eyes and smiled. To everyone’s surprise (except Alphonse, who knew Rachel well by now) the beautiful blonde walked right up to Keith’s table and produced her hand.

“I am so sorry! My cab driver was lost or something. Am I too late to join you?” The smile Rachel used was transfixing.

“Oh no. It’s ok, please sit down. It would be a shame to come to George’s and not eat, after all.”

Keith was surprised to find himself kissing this lady’s hand, and got up to help her with her chair. What was with him? Had he ever done that?

Alphonse glided up. “Good evening Ma’am. Can I get you a drink while you look at the menu?”

Rachel smiled demurely. “A Merlot please.”

Alphonse smiled thinly. “Very good Ma’am. How about you sir?”

“One more whiskey please.” Alphonse bowed his head slightly and glided off. Keith didn’t notice. He was thinking Rachel was the most beautiful woman he had ever been on a date with, and the scent that had come to the table with her was alluring. Cathy had never worn perfume.

“Rachel, you have me at a bit of a disadvantage I am afraid. When Joan mentioned the idea of going on a date with her sister, she made it almost seem like I would be doing a public service or something.”

Rachel laughed lightly. “So, Keith, are you the type of guy that takes pity on the unfortunate?”

“Well, I have my moments I suppose.” The whisky had softened his tongue just a touch.

Rachel laughed indulgently. “Joan did say you were a nice guy. She did not day you were charming.”

“Well, that’s funny, Joan did not say you were so charming either.” What was with him? He never talked so easily. What was she wearing? Chanel Number 5? Keith was a bit surprised to feel his manhood beginning to swell. He needed to switch to water, he didn’t want to blow this.

“So, tell me, what is it like owning your own accounting business? Joan makes the profession sound so interesting.”

“I am sure it isn’t. It does make money, though, so there is that.” Keith Lumley was currently worth more than everyone in George’s that night would ever come close to seeing. He loved money, more than anything. Cathy would never get his money because of the prenup. Now was not the time to think or talk about his estranged wife.

“Never mind the Accounting business. What do you do Rachel?” Keith wanted to keep the topic on this goddess.

“Oh, it’s boring and a little hard to explain.”

Keith smiled. “I don’t think you could bore me, Rachel.” God, why was he being so bold? Had the whiskey really caught up to him already?

Just then, Alphonse came with their drinks. Rachel took a short sip of her Merlot, and Keith looked at the 4th whiskey with a little bit of chagrin. He would sip that remaining whiskey, just to be companionable.

Rachel laughed throatily. “Are we here to enjoy dinner or are were here to talk about work?”

4

At the precise moment that Keith was finishing his 3rd whisky, his secretary was using a USB drive to copy the contents of her boss’s desktop. It had taken Joan Blake half an hour to find the files she was looking for, the ones that showed Keith Lumley’s money transfers from Mexico. One for every month for the past couple of years, all more than 10K at a time. There were others from the Cayman Islands as well, also quite large. She had been looking for something to use against her boss just to back off his advances, she needed the job after all. But these were better than expected. She had seen them when installing some software on his computer, but she had been paralyzed at first. These were not what they looked at, were they? Then, I don’t have a thumb drive with me?

Joan smiled in the present and composed the text. I have what you need.

5

Rachel read the text as she was finishing her Veal Milanese. God, she loved George’s. She realized she was not paying attention to what her date was saying at the moment? What was this guy talking about now?

“So, that is why I decided to open my own company. I felt like my bosses over the years were, at best, unimaginative. At worst, idiots.” The 4th whisky had really loosened his tongue. He was aware he was talking more than Rachel, but she did seem interested, didn’t she? And, why would she not be?

“I understand that feeling, believe me Keith.” Rachel was not lying about that. Her bosses had often tried her patience.

“Yeah? Would you like dessert? Keith felt like he said this casually, but with just a tinge of suggestiveness. The bulge in his pants had been tented for the last hour, ever since Rachel sat down really.

Had the really just come on to her just like that? God, men are so dumb Rachel thought. Outwardly, she laughed girlishly.

“Not one a first date, I couldn’t eat another bite anyhow. Besides, have to leave something for the next time, right?”

Keith was a bit disappointed to be rebuked on his clever offer for dessert, but also his heart sang at the mention of next time. He couldn’t wait.

Rachel smiled at him. “I don’t think so. Not tonight, maybe next time? I do have to get home to bed. Keith, I have enjoyed this very much. I am glad Joan suggested it.”

Keith smiled, encouraged if a little defeated at the moment. “Yes, so did I. Would you like to share a ride home?”

Rachel smiled easily. “Yes, as long as it’s Uber.”

“Deal.” Keith took out his Smart Phone, and expertly typed in the key sequences that would bring them an untrained driver in a cheap sedan to take them to their destination.

Alphonse appeared with a leather book with the edges of a bill showing through the top and bottom ends. Keith paid the bill with his Cobalt American Express.

“Are you ready to go, young lady?”

Rachel smiled. “Yes, I am. But first, I have a surprise for you.”

“What is it?” Keith was hoping she would not notice the bulge in his pants when they got up from the table.

The badge Rachel produced from her purse and put on the table sobered up Keith Lumley almost instantly. The words she spoke would take care of the bulge.

“Keith Lumley, you are under arrest.”