Robert’s Final Wish

John walked out of the prison his heart feeling as heavy as the metal door he heard slamming closed behind him. In his arms, he carried a box containing Robert’s personal belongings and it was a heartbreaking realization that everything tangible that Robert had valued would fit into this small box. Robert became more than a client to John over the last ten years. They talked about football, John’s kids, the ins and outs of cooking things in prison, and life in general. As he left the prison after watching Robert die, John could honestly say that he would greatly miss his friend.

Robert had spent the last fourteen years of his life on Alabama’s death row for a devastating crime that he never denied committing, an act that would weigh on Robert’s heart and mind for the rest of his life. He never recovered from the guilt he felt for the horrible thing he had done and while he knew he could never make it right, he could try to do better while we waited for the State to carry out his sentence. Robert became a favorite of the prison guards, saving many of their lives during a prison riot a few years prior. The guards had supported Robert’s legal team in the effort to stop his execution and show that Robert should not be executed, but rather be granted clemency. Unfortunately, their attempts were futile, the Governor denied the clemency request, and John watched Robert be put to death. And now, John found himself alone, walking out the prison doors feeling defeated and sad as he headed towards his car with Robert’s box of personal belongings.

Reaching his car, John opened the box and found a letter written to him with Robert’s final wishes concerning the items inside. There were books and drawings that he asked John to send his elderly mother in California who had been too ill to travel and see him the entire time he was on death row. There was an old cigarette lighter inscribed with his father’s initials that he wanted his brother to have. Finally, there was a sealed manila envelope at the bottom of the box addressed to Mrs. Amanda Conrad in Mobile, Alabama. Robert’s letter gave strict instructions that John was to deliver this envelope to Mrs. Conrad and was not allowed to open it under any circumstances. John was torn about how to handle this situation. On one hand he fully trusted Robert, his friend, and wanted more than anything to honor his final request. On the other hand, Amanda Conrad was the widow of the man Robert had killed fifteen years ago and it was definitely pushing ethical lines for John, who had represented Robert for the last ten years, to make a delivery to a victim without knowing what it was he was delivering. John held the envelope in his hands nervously turning it repeatedly. He took a deep sigh and decided he would call Mrs. Conrad and if she would agree to see him, he would honor Robert’s request. If his friend thought this step was this important, he would trust the man he got to know so well.

John put the lid back on the box and placed it on his backseat, minus the sealed manila envelope which was now staring up at him from the passenger seat. It was late at night, but he was sure Mrs. Conrad was awake. She didn’t attend the execution, but it was hard to avoid things like this on the news, even in a state where executions were common. Once he was off the prison grounds and on the interstate heading north, he quickly found Mrs. Conrad’s telephone number from the case witness list and pressed call on his phone. It only took a couple of rings before he heard a sweet voice answer “hello.” After identifying himself and the reason for his call, Mrs. Conrad reluctantly agreed to meet with him and provided her address. John took the next exit and turned his car around, heading south towards Mobile. He was going to have a fitful nights sleep as he wondered just what he had gotten himself into. After all, he could have kept the envelope, put it in the safe in his office, and held it for when he was emotionally ready. But that wouldn’t have honored his friend Robert. His friend who trusted him.

The next morning, he drove to the address from the witness list. An hour later John sat in his car staring at the modest home with a white picket fence. There was a basketball hoop in the driveway and a swing on the porch where a teenage girl lounged while reading a book. Feeling nervous but ready to get this over with, John stepped out of his car and headed towards the front door. The young girl looked up at him with a start. “Hi, can I help you” she asked but before he could answer Amanda Conrad came stepping out the front door. “It’s okay Lindsey, can you go inside for a little bit while me and Mr. Patterson talk? Tell Luke to get ready for practice and we will leave shortly.” Once Lindsey had collected her belongings and gone inside, Amanda motioned for John to sit down on the swing with her. As he took his seat, Amanda motioned towards the sealed envelope. “That’s it I assume.” John replied affirmatively as he handed the envelope to her. Amanda stared at the writing on the envelope — her name and city written in the handwriting she had come to know over the years. Robert had reached out to her many times during his incarceration, never once asking that she try to intercede on his behalf to have his sentence commuted. Instead, his letters were always kind and expressing his grief and remorse over taking the life of her husband. Every year on the anniversary of the murder, she would receive a letter from Robert assuring her that a day didn’t go by when he didn’t think about Ken and say a prayer for her and her two children. Amanda never told anyone about Robert’s letters because she was certain that no one would ever understand the comfort they gave her. Robert was the last man to see her husband alive, and she always felt that connection.

“So you have no idea what is inside?” Amanda asked John. “No, Robert was very clear that I was not to know. Neither before nor after I delivered it to you. However, if you are concerned about the contents I will be happy to stay while you open it.”

“No, that won’t be necessary. Robert wrote me many times over the years expressing his remorse for taking Ken’s life and he was always kind and sincere. I appreciate you bringing this to me and I am sorry that your efforts to stop the execution were unsuccessful. I thought for sure that my plea to the governor to spare Robert’s life would be heard. No one said he would ever be out of prison, but his execution doesn’t bring my husband back. Your client was a troubled man who made a horrible mistake but I believe that he had a good heart and he could’ve continued doing so much good even while spending the rest of his life in prison.”

“Robert was more than just my client, he was my friend. And you’re right, he carried a lot of guilt for what he did but he tried his hardest to be a better person in prison and he succeeded.”

John stood up to leave and reached out to shake Amanda’s hand. “Again, I have no idea what is inside that envelope but if after I leave you need to discuss it with me, feel free to call.”

Amanda shook his hand and watched as John stepped off the porch and headed towards his car. As John drove off, Amanda opened the envelope and inside found a small black notebook with yellowed pages. She opened the cover and discovered that it was Robert’s journal dated back to April 25, 2004, the day that Robert was convicted of Ken’s murder and sentenced to death by lethal injection. Amanda sat on the porch crying as she read Robert’s words and realized even more than before just how heavy Robert’s remorse had been on his heart. He spoke of his plans to rob the bank that day, how desperate he had been to get the money needed for his mother’s medical care and how he had gone to great lengths to ensure no one would get hurt during the heist. Yes, he had a gun but it was unloaded and he had only intended to use it to take the gun off of the bank guard, Ken Conrad, Amanda’s husband. After getting Ken’s gun and making sure that all of the customers and staff were on the ground, he took the bank manager to the vault and was able to make off with close to $250k. As Robert was leaving the bank, Ken got up and made chase out the door yelling about a robbery in progress. As Ken made his way closer to Robert, another customer who had just pulled into the parking lot got involved in the altercation, pulling out a concealed handgun and firing several shots. One of which hit Ken in the neck severing his carotid artery and killing him instantly. Under Alabama law, even though he didn’t fire the bullet that killed Ken, Robert was responsible for his death. Robert managed to escape the parking lot but was apprehended two months later at an abandoned hunting lodge. Of the $247k that was stolen from the bank, all but $20k was recovered and Robert never once revealed its location. Police just assumed he spent it during the time he was on the run.

The final pages of Robert’s journal were specifically addressed to Amanda Conrad once again expressing his remorse and how he wished so much that he could give Amanda back her husband and her children back their father. But since he couldn’t the only thing he could do was provide Amanda with something to help her family. Robert knew the children would be heading to college soon and he wanted Amanda to have that $20k to help with expenses. The FDIC had long since covered the bank’s loss and if that money were to be returned now, then the only real victims of that day’s crime - Ken Conrad and his family - would never see a dime of it. So, prior to his apprehension, Robert had carefully hidden the $20k and never told a single person where it could be found. Until now, as Robert provided a detailed map and instructions for the money’s recovery. Robert ended the note to Amanda by offering his last apology for the pain he had caused and prayed that one day she could find it in her heart to forgive him. Amanda looked up at the sky and through her tears whispered “I already have Robert.”

Amanda closed the small black notebook and clutched it to her chest as she stood up from the swing. “Change of plans kiddos” she announced as she walked through the front door. “Pack an overnight bag, we’re going on a road trip!”