One Day I Suddenly Got Old

Did It Happen Suddenly

Perhaps it didn't. I am quite sure it didn't happen over night. However, for me, it did happen suddenly.

I was distracted from older age, as long as I could do everything I wanted to do, I was happy not thinking about my age. Sure I had some aches and pains, and I even had cataract surgery, in not one eye but two. The eye doctor told me that I had a condition called "Early Cataracts", and that was good enough for me. I was in my early fifties and I guess I went under the premise of your only as old as you feel, and I felt no different than I did in my forties. Okay, a little bit, but I still did the things I wanted to do. I always wanted my house spotless, and I did that easily. I always wanted to garden, and I did that so beautifully. Okay, I needed help digging the ground up, but I planted, pruned, cultivated, weeded and harvested on my own.

The Signs I Ignored

The grey spots in my hair, I easily covered up with root touch up and I didn't have to see the signs of aging, and that was fine with me.

The Life Changing Event

The Delaware State Police came to our door at 3:30 am one Saturday morning, to tell us our 44 year old son, whom lived with us, had been brutally murdered. This was a game changer, and I think I literally aged 10 years that early morning.

When law enforcement didn't offer us the results we wanted, we decided to go out and look for the killer on our own. I decided to do it like everything else I had done in my life, with a a passion. So I set up a full time operation for looking for the person who took my son's life. My plan included hanging flyers and I did just that.

One Place That Changed Everything

We hung one in a place called State Street Liquors, and this little tiny liquor store proved to be a pivotal aspect to my investigation into my son's death.

One day while hanging a flyer, I was confronted by a man, that was actually a cousin of the man who murdered my son. He stormed in the door while I was coming out, and he pushed me off the wooden step that was on the entrance to that little liquor store.

I returned to go in and ask the clerk what the man said to her. She said, "What are they doing now, offering a reward?" The clerk answered him, "Yes, his mother was just in here".

The Statement That Changed Everything I Knew

I went back in the liquor store to see if the clerk was okay. I had never been pushed before and I was concerned about the man's agressiveness. However, she said she was okay and the comment he had made about the reward.

However, she added, "My boss, the owner of the liquor store had survellience on it through his lap top. He asked me about the older couple that came in there all the time. I immediaitely thought the flyer produced a lead in my own investigation. I asked her, "Older couple? Did they say anything, what did they ask you?"

She replied quite puzzled, "He was referring to you and your husband maam". It was me that was quite puzzled then, as I took a deep breath and shrugged my shoulders and said, "Oh".

That was the day I referred to as the day, "I SUDDENLY GOT OLD".

Perhaps it was happening all along, but I didn't realize it. I could do all the things that I wanted to do, and I didn't realize that I was slipping into older age, despite looking into the mirror each morning.

1. The man that pushed me off the little wooden step, was the cousin of the man who brutally murdered my son. His name was Abdul White.

2. My son was murdered in March 27, 2015, and Abdul White shot and killed John Harmon of Milford Delaware on August 8, 2015.

3. The State Street Liquor Store encounter happened in June of 2015.

4. Abdul White was sentenced to life in prison on 69 various charges ranging from first degree murder to kidnapping to home invasion.

5. Anthony McDonald 39, was Abdul White's cousin, and they found him washed up on Silver Lake in Dover Delaware, dead on November 21, 2017. He was found by a kyaker. At the time of McDonalds death he had a warrant by the Delaware State Police for the brutal murder of Richard L Jacobs Jr. , age 44.

6. Richard L Jacobs Jr was my son and I looked for his killer for 2 years and 8 months

Never under estimate what one person can do, if you are determined enough. I was 6 weeks shy of my 65th birthday when my son was brutally murdered. I am 75 years old now and handicapped. I looked for my son's murderer on 27% lung function, and I had a heart attack in April of 2016. When I recovered I continued my plan and my search for the killer.

A decade later, there is two search. pages on google about my son's death. When I met an intimate stranger in a parking lot of a grocery store, she remembered the flyers and my search for the killer of my son.

Rick was gone a decade this March 27, 2015, and I still miss him terribly.

I WONDER IF YOU EVER HEAL FROM A TRAUMA LIKE THIS