Number Eighteen

"Hawaii?!"

Kathryn said in a half yell. Her hands cupped her latte on either side. Steam rose from the hot drink into the cool autumn air and curled around her face, framing eyes that seemed like they might leap out of her head onto the table below. "Oh Kins, that's amazing! And they're paying for the whole thing? Oh, you're going to have such a great time I'm sure of it."

Her voice trailed off, her eyes receding into their sockets and settling on her drink.

"I've always wanted to go to Hawaii," Kathryn continued, her tone more subdued. "go anywhere really."

Kinsley studied her friend's expression from across the cafe table. She admired how excitable Kathryn was. Naive, sure. But there was something so charming about that naivety.

"So why don't you come with me?"

"Oh, I couldn't possibly." Kathryn said in barely more than a whisper.

That excitement - the fire - within Kathryn that had drawn Kinsley to her when they met four months ago seemed to be coming out less and less lately. It seemed as though having someone she trusted, someone she could open up to about her failing marriage had made her realize the severity of her situation. Like speaking the words out loud made it all real.

“Because of Hugh?” Kinsley said. She meant for it to sound like a question but the words left her lips sounding more like a statement of fact.

“Because of life.” Kathryn responded. “It’s just not in the cards. Not who I am.”

Kinsley leaned back in her chair. Her finger traced the rim of her own coffee. Kathryn didn’t seem to know who she was. How her smile could light up a room. How her laugh could instantly infect anyone within a 30-foot radius. How that fire within her could catch and grow into an inferno in an instant. If she would only let the spark catch for longer than a minute.

“Besides,” Kathryn continued, “I couldn’t leave Hugh here by himself for 2 months. He needs me.”

“But that’s the point isn’t it?” Kinsley asked. “You do everything for that waste of a man. Something, or someone, is going to have to eventually teach him how to take care of himself.” She leaned forward and looked directly into her friend’s eyes. Kathryn held her gaze for a moment, then let her eyes fall back down to her mug.

She wants to believe, Kinsley thought.

“Or at the very least,” Kinsley said, “Show him how much you really do. Show him your worth.”

Kathryn’s mouth turned up on one side and she let out an audible sigh. Are those tears forming in her eyes?

Good, Kinsley thought. Let it out. Admit, at least to yourself, how you really feel.

“He just wouldn’t-” Kathryn caught the sentence before she could finish it. “I just couldn’t Kins.” Kathryn’s eyes lifted, meeting Kinsley’s. She only just realized how hard her heart had been thumping in her chest. It seemed impossible that Kathryn wouldn’t hear it from across the table.

The tears were gone from her eyes now. She seemed resolute. Or maybe that look was resignation. Kinsley had noticed the bruises. The way Kathryn wore clothes that seemed to cover too much of her. How delicate her movements had gotten. As if any sudden turn risked sending new pain through her body.

“ Maybe we should just get rid of him then,” Kinsley said. She could feel the anger boiling inside of her and was sure she wore it on her face. “Then you wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore.”

Kathryn’s eyebrows drew inward, seeming to try to decide whether Kinsley was joking. Then she laughed. That laugh that could make you forget your troubles.

“Oh, Kins!” Kathryn said between breaths. “Sometimes you are just too much!”

Kinsley feigned a smile and lifted her cup to her lips. Hoping the drink would help to hide what she was sure was a sour look.

Kathryn looked at her wrist and abruptly put down her mug.

“My goodness!” Kathryn said. “Time always seems to move so quickly when I’m with you Kins.” she grabbed her purse from the ground beside her chair and threw it over her shoulder. “I’m going to be late. Thank you so much for today. I really needed this.”

“Of course Kat.” Kinsley said.

Kathryn turned and walked briskly down the street. 3:45 pm Tuesday. She would be heading to her yoga class.

Kathryn always walked. She walked everywhere and anywhere she could. She always said that she liked the exercise but Kinsley guessed that it was likely the extra half hour it took that was so appealing. Thirty more minutes she didn’t have to be home.

Kinsley looked back at her coffee and found that her hand had settled on her jacket’s lower right pocket. The pocket that held her little black book. The book that contained every detail she had been able to record about Kathryn’s life.

I have two hours. Kinsley thought. I won’t need more than one.

*

“Hugh, I’m home!” Kathryn called through the doorway as she entered. “I’m sorry I’m a little late, the flowers in the park are so beautiful this time of year I just had to stop and take some pictures.”

In truth, she had stopped to take some pictures. But it was really more of an excuse than anything. She couldn’t seem to get her conversation with Kinsley off her mind in class. And she kept pouring over it on the walk home. Could she really imagine a life where she could just take off to Hawaii for two months? Where she could do something for herself and not fear -

She didn’t allow herself to think about it anymore. Not now. Not here.

“Hugh?”

Kathryn walked through the dining room. She could hear the television playing at the back of the house.

“What can I fix you for dinner?” She said, peeking her head around the corner to look into the family room.

Hugh sat in his usual place on the couch, his head slumped to one side. On the ground beside him was a glass that had fallen from his hand when he passed out. The scotch that had been inside stained the carpet.

At least he’s not snoring today, Kathryn thought.

She walked over to his side quietly and bent down to pick up the glass. She was careful not to move too quickly. Hugh could get quite angry if he was woken from his drunken stupor. Quite violent too. And her ribs had just begun to heal.

She stood with the glass in hand and looked at the near-empty bottle that sat on the coffee table in front of him. It sat on a piece of folded paper.

That’s odd, Kathryn thought.

Hugh wasn’t one to worry about something so meaningless as using a coaster. Hell, he wasn’t one to worry about anything. Why worry? That’s what Kathryn was for.

She picked up the piece of paper. The edges were torn slightly like it had been ripped from a small notebook. She unfolded it.

Be free Kat, Know your worth.

Six words. That was all it took to let her know that her life would never be the same.

The glass fell from her hand and caught the edge of the coffee table, shattering. Tiny shards embedded themselves into her legs and into the carpet below.

“Hugh?” she said. Tears had begun to fill her eyes. It was only now that she realized why he wasn’t snoring.

He wasn’t breathing.

“Hugh!” She fell to her knees and the tears escaped their prison in her eyes. Something that hadn’t happened in years. She never let them out. She couldn’t.

The glass in the carpet cut into her knees and drops of blood joined the glass and scotch in its fibers. But Kathryn didn’t notice. Her entire body was numb.

Six words. Those six words did something she never dared to believe was possible. They set her free. But at what cost?

*

Kinsley exited the parking garage and turned south. Behind her, the black SUV that had just handed her the package turned in the opposite direction and headed north. She drove for an hour - an hour that seemed like a lifetime - until she found a side road well outside of the city where she felt she could be alone.

She reached over and pulled out the manila envelope from the glove compartment. She held it in front of herself trying to calm her nerves and stop shaking. She hadn’t felt like this in so long.

Not since Denver, she thought.

Two drops fell from her eyes and darkened the envelope in her lap. She pushed away the thought and opened it.

She quickly took the money - two piles of cash wrapped in bands labeled $10,000 - and put it into her inside jacket pocket. Then she pulled out the note.

Melissa, for the next leg of your journey.

We were beginning to think this was going to be a repeat of your trip to Denver. You allow yourself to get too close. It’s a good thing that you smartened up. We would hate for what happened to your husband, to happen to your son. You’ve already lost so much. Remember that this is all for the best. We work to guide the world to a brighter tomorrow. We are sorry that we had to go to such extremes to gain your cooperation, but progress requires sacrifice. As for your part, it is almost done now. Soon you will be free, and you and your son will be reunited. Stay vigilant, and be careful. Your son has lost his father, let’s not let him lose his mother too.

At the bottom of the note was the same symbol that accompanied all of the notes. The same symbol that was carved into her husband’s head when they sent her the picture of his dead body. The same symbol she had found on her wall the night she came home to find them missing.

A hand with fingers spread. A large triangle in its palm. A smaller triangle inverted, interlacing at the top, forming a small diamond in the center.

The Guiding Hand. That was what they called themselves.

She took out a lighter and burned the note. Tossing it out onto the road. She couldn’t stand having any reminders of these people.

She reached into her right pocket, pulled out her little black book, and flipped to the back page.

Twenty names. 17 of them crossed through with a slash.

She grabbed the pen that was hooked to the edge of the cover and placed it beside the eighteenth name.

Hugh Prescott.

She put a dark strike through it.

I may have really let her come with me. She thought. I may have really thrown it all away.

She steeled herself and looked at the road in front of her.

“Just two more names. Two more names and I will be with you again.”

She put the car into drive and set off to her next destination. To number nineteen.