Instinct

Why didn’t I listen to my instincts?

I knew something was off the second I headed to my car. It wasn’t fully dark yet. The sun was just closing down to make way for the moon’s evening shift.

There were still plenty of people going into various shops, or taking their dogs for walks, but still he was ready and I was not…

I’d needed to get home from this hellish day and prepare for the beginning of the next. Work was several kinds of irritation. It went from spilling my morning coffee all over my presentation, to the Xerox machine breaking down, to my sister not remembering to take our mom her weekly groceries. The grocery store was now on my list.

I had no time to listen to my instincts.

I should have taken the time.

I always viewed my instincts as traffic signs for my life. They have never led me wrong. My entire life has been a journey in signals. Yellow light - slow down, U-turn - I need to go in a different direction, One Way - be more decisive and focused, Dead end - there is no future in that direction, Red light - stop, pay attention.

Today, I didn’t listen to my red light signal and now I am at his mercy. Who knows what this guy has in mind.

The car hit a bump and I bounced like a pogo stick though I was laying down, hands and legs duck taped and my mouth sealed shut like a vault.

When was he able to do all of this?

I’d just wanted a hot bath, a glass of wine, a good book and some sleep.

Instead, I felt drowsy.

That’s right! He shot me with something when he first came up behind me.

I needed to think; if I could just get my head straight.

My mind was blinking warning signs like a runaway train. I should be terrified right now.

Somewhere between being drugged and taken against my will, I woke to find myself bound and vulnerable.

Still, I needed to focus. No time for fear now. This guy obviously was prepared and I needed to at least catch up to that level of thinking if I wanted to live.

Trying to remember what happened. I ran over what I recalled before I blacked out. My mind rewound like an old VHS tape and I remembered leaving work.

My sister called just as I was leaving, to ask me to pick up a few things for mom.

I remembered imagining the robotic voice of a navigation application run through my mind, signaling that my plans of relaxing at home were just rearranged.

“Recalculating, turn left.” I had smiled to myself and started to head in the direction of the store.

When I got there, I didn’t remember seeing anything out of the ordinary.

I had parked in a spot that had a few empty spaces next to my car, but still it was in an area where other people were visible. The grocery store had a fair amount of customers.

I picked up everything I needed and made it to the cash register. I didn’t feel wary of anyone. People seemed pretty busy doing their shopping. When I came out, no one was lurking or looking suspicious, but I did get that feeling to STOP and not go to my car right then. I brushed it off, thinking I was over reacting.

I rolled my basket to my car, unlocked the trunk and started putting my bags in.

That’s when I remembered feeling a sharp pinch and a flood of hot liquid flowing through my neck. I put my hand up to it immediately thinking maybe a bee had stung me and that is when I felt a man’s body pressed to my back. I was able to turn my head a little, my adrenaline pumping, and saw that he was about six feet and strong.

I felt his strength, when he pushed me into the trunk with lightening speed. He tossed the remainder of my bags in with me before I could even scream. If no one saw him come up behind me, it would look as though he was just shopping and tossing his groceries in the trunk.

Whatever he stuck me with was fast acting because my legs buckled as soon as he pushed me in. I tried to kick my leg out to stop him from closing the trunk, but he slammed the door down as hard as he could, causing me to pull it back in pain. Next I heard my keys jingling and my engine start.

I went to pound on the door of the trunk but my arms felt like lead weights and I only had the strength of a newborn.

“What the….?” Before I could get the words formed, I’d blacked out.

The car hit another series of bumps like we were going down a dirt road. I knew I had to think fast. My hands were blessedly tied in front of me so I was able to reach up to try to feel for the button that opened the trunk from the inside. I was grateful my car had that feature. I had to carefully feel for it. I didn’t want him to know I was awake.

It was so dark, but I knew I could find it. I reached up and to the side feeling nothing. That’s when I realized that I didn’t feel the grocery bags bumping against me. I stretched my bound legs trying to feel them. They were not there. The latch to the trunk wasn’t either. I noticed then that this trunk was bigger than the trunk to my compact car.

“He had switched cars!”

Any hope of anyone finding me in my car was zero. I had watched enough criminal shows to know that this guy was prepared. He must have had this planned for awhile. Was I random or had he been following me, watching my every move, waiting on the right moment? I felt a chill reverberate through me.

“What did he want?” I thought. Never mind. It can’t be anything good. I had to get out of there before I found out. “Victim of Diabolical Murderer,” was not a headline I wanted printed about the last moments of my life!

I remembered the words my dad always told me and my siblings.

“Evil, is always prepared. It is always watching for that perfect moment to strike. Killers are like predators on the hunt. They don’t think like you do. They are not going about their day trying to get through it, trying to uplift those around them. They watch you like a hunter, still and unmovable. Predators set their breaths to the rhythm of their prey; almost becoming one with them. They are aware of the surroundings much more than you are. They are using the environment to their advantage. They have already run through what moves their prey might make to escape. By the time you think to react, they have already made their strike and are ready to fight. When you are caught off guard like that, it takes a moment to even realize there is a need to fight. That is how they have the advantage.

Always be aware of your surroundings. Unfortunately, the moment you step outside your door, it is like stepping into a jungle. You know there is danger, so you move cautiously. You will find some harmless creatures and some that are monsters. Be ready for the monsters.”

I wasn’t ready. I’d messed up. I had to get ready to fight. He had me at an disadvantage. I was groggy from the drug he shot me with, tied up, and probably out in the middle of nowhere. He obviously had planned it like that so no one could hear the screams for help.

Not today! I was getting out of here!

I had to get untied, but how?

Then I remembered. My metal nail file was in my skirt pocket. I’d broken a nail while fighting with the Xerox machine and had grabbed it to file the raggedy edges. I’d put it back in my pocket.

Thank God it was still there!

I wiggled a twisted trying to turn so I could reach it in my side pocket. I was getting a cramp in my side but I continued on. A cramp I could deal with; a gutted stomach and him bathing in my blood, I could not. Who knows what this guy had in mind.

I turned for the fourth time and felt the file pressing into my hand. Shimmy, twist, and wiggle, I moved with the precision of a snake until I felt the handle in my hand.

I had to work fast.

I positioned the file as best I could near the duck tape and began to saw until my wrist and fingers were on fire. Saw, saw, rip, rip, until I finally felt a give and by sheer will, freed my hands quickly moving on to my feet and ripping the tape off my mouth.

Another bump jolted me forward and I felt the car begin to slow. This was it!

I couldn’t fail; I had to attack him fast and direct, just as he’d attacked me.

No hesitation.

I wiggled my legs getting them ready to move and felt my adrenaline rise like a tsunami. I heard the engine cut off and the car shake as he exited and closed the door.

The yellow signal warned me to slow down and not to move too soon. If he knew what I was up to, it was all over. I slowed my breathing and tried to imagine that his was calm and cool.

I could hear him whistling one of those creepy tunes that killers always whistle when they are getting ready to mangle the innocent. I was so wired I wanted to spring into action, but I could feel the red signal.

Wait…wait…wait…. I heard the keys sliding into the lock. The grinding noise of the turn…

Wait…wait….

The trunk popped open. I barely noticed his sinister face, eyes hungry and excited for what he felt was to come.

Green light!

My instincts screamed the color and the word meaning GO simultaneously!

The file was in both hands. I struck two times in his stomach in quick succession and two near his heart.

I saw his startled look only a second as I kicked out as hard as I could uncurling my foot from its kneeling position.

I hopped out.

My legs wanting to buckle as I almost fell out of the trunk, but by sheer will I stayed upright. He was grabbing at his chest now and trying to lunge towards me, but I could have been an Olympic champion at that point as I took off like a panther.

There were sticks and brush everywhere as it looked like he had driven out into the woods. I made sure there were no stumbles and crawls like the girls do in the horror movies. I ran professionally until my lungs wanted to pop!

I heard the sounds of a train and knew I was nearing some form of safety.

I wasn’t stopping until I found it. I felt like the very angels of Heaven were granted permission to fly me over that rough terrain. There was some sort of crunching and snapping noises behind me followed by groans and curses. But I wasn’t interested. I had ignored my instincts earlier that day and that was not going to happen now.

I made it out of that horrifying situation and my attacker was found bleeding and angry.

I keep one thing close to my heart from that moment forward:

Never ignore your instincts; it is led by something higher than yourself. Trust it and act accordingly. It could save your life.