I know it has been awhile. Bj and I have been through oh so many situations, tribulations, you will read about them. Right now though, we have some more to add to Doing Time. This piece was written by the both of us. I still have to write my versions of Doing Time from the times when I was incarcerated to get this book on the roll... So here goes yet another enthralling part of our saga...
....What now? I have done everything one could possibly do in a day's time to, well, pass time. I woke up this morning, at about 5:30 am pretty much the exact same time everyday. Every morning jarring awake to the loud sounds and chaotic noise of the dorm coming to life before they call chow. As I open my eyes, I see inmates walking around everywhere. All of the same gender, whether they want to be or not. Twelve years of waking up, and seeing, hearing, nothing but men. Before I was arrested on this current incarceration, I was only free on the streets 89 days. Only 89 days of around, about 20 years of my life, I was able to wake up to see other humans besides these loud, obnoxious, disrespectful men. Sorry if I may sound a tad angry, but I am. When you live in this kind of torment every single day for months people become angry, hardened, I have been doing this 12 years. And because I have been locked up one way or another since I was 6 years old (the year my mom died), I have extremely bad PTSD. I can guarantee that I am not the only one in here. Probably the vast majority of the men in here have it. I am also institutionalized so heavily that it runs through my being more so than my blood. Institutionalization (if that even is a word lol) is so far into the depths of me, I no longer have bone marrow, I now have institutionalization! Well, a Louisiana prisoner coined the word 'jose', so I suppose if institutionalization is not a word I just coined it! This being said, that even though, some of those 89 days I arose to a female, or to just no one at all. I did not wake up peacefully, in my 89 days of freedom. I imagine most free people do, not I. Every single one of those 89 days I was jolted awake, overcome by troubled, frenzied, racing thoughts, until my eyes focused, my brain comprehended where I was, and that I was no longer waking in a warzone in Satan's Hell.
Some of these inmates are at the sink brushing their teeth, a few others are standing in the dayroom sipping on cups of instant coffee with their facility issued plastic coffee cups, fully dressed, waiting on the 'free-man' to unlock the gate for chow. I catch sight of a few more inmates sitting on their racks, reading novels, and kneeling in their isle saying their prayers.
I sit up and stretch. My back is hurting from a terrible night's sleep on my one inch thick, hard, plastic mattress. These mattresses are so old, used up that they really aren't even one inch anymore. Basically it is like sleeping on the steel cot holding it. I am grateful for it, though. I most definitely know what it feels like not to have it, and it is oooh soo much worse. I know beyond these gates in existence are real, big, thick, oh so comfortable mattresses. The televisions we have show commercials of them. I want to say that I remember having one, but I no longer trust my memories. Sure,I would like to believe that I am sane. That I have not 'lost it', as quite a few of these men have. Honestly, I have no clue. Am I really sitting here writing this to you, thinking that I am sane? Or am I in all actuality in the blocks, butt naked screaming my head off, muttering sounds that make sense to only me? One of the most terrifying feelings is not knowing what is real anymore.
I go out on the yard, look through and beyond these gates. Is my mind playing tricks on me, remembering a world out there? Was I ever really there? Will I ever make it back there? All the books that i read, that is exactly what the world out there is to me, only a memory of a book that I have read. It is not real, just a fantasy. Terrifying, isn't it? I long to be out there. To taste it, to touch it- freedom. To be able to be outside of a building, my home, look up at the night sky to see a star, the moon. How I long for this simple pastime that I took so much for granted. It has been a really, really long time since i spotted a star, or seen a constellation, meteor shower. How I crave this now.... It is crazy, I question if even this is real. I never see it anymore. Is it really even there? Have I ever laid my eyes upon the twinkle of a star? The pale light of the moon? If I have, will I ever be able to again?
I reach over, unlock my combination lock on my locker to get my toothbrush and toothpaste from inside, then proceed to the bathroom area to do my morning hygiene ritual. I will then fix myself a shot of coffee, then check my emails on my tablet. Same routine every morning.
Once chow is called, the gate unlocked, the inmates who are going to chow rush out the dorm. The rest of us linger around. Me, myself, I do not go to every chow as much as I used to. Especially when I have went to canteen and have a few groceries in my box. I'll just eat a honeybun for breakfast.
At 7am exactly the C.O. on duty for this unit calls 'work call', and every inmate must report to their assigned job. Everyone has a job assignment. It does not matter your age, your health, or even whether or not you may have a disability. Every single inmate is required to have a job assignment. Me, I am on compound maintenance. The first thing that I do is report to the Lieutenant on duty to see if there is anything he may need me to fix on the unit. Most of the time it will be little things like fixing a broken toilet. Something may need to be repainted, my job varies. There are 4 current crews on maintenance, consisting of 4 inmates per crew. Most of the time things are already 'maintained'.
Today the Lt. tells me there is nothing for me to do, so I simply come back to my dorm. It's 7:30 am and everyone is already sweating, because it is so hot in the dorm. Louisiana male prisons are not allowed to have air conditioning. I forgot it even existed until just now. Okay, that one was a joke! That I forgot it existed, not that we are not allowed air conditioning. If it is hot outside, it is hot in here Trust me it is extremely hot in here in the summer months. Today is August 15, 2021. So you know it is a hot day. The dorm is practically empty, everyone has went to their assigned work areas. Only a few orderlies and such remain. After helping clean the dorm, I come sit on my rack, check my emails again hoping that I have a message from my beloved Stephanie, and yep, she has sent me a message letting me know that she is awake, well, and that I can call her now. And now I am excited! I quickly dial her number on my tablet, put in my earbuds, and block out my surroundings, so that I can finally take in what I practically live for. Which is hearing her sweet voice in my ears. There is nothing truly sweeter to me than these moments right here. The sound of her voice when she answers the phone, and says," Hey Boog, good morning!" I just smile and lay back in my rack like a fat cat!
After we talk for awhile and catch up on whatever may be going on with each other's lives, we will hang up then continue doing what we do on a daily basis. Me, I have a daily routine day in and day out, hardley ever changing. Just a lab rat here. I just simply do time in priso for the great state of fabulous Louisiana.
Louisiana the one and only state that continues to top the charts with the highest incarceration rate in the world. Thousands upon thousands of men and women are incarcerated in Louisiana. The doors remaining open as more and more get locked up everyday.
Thank you for reading, we hope you have enjoyed being on this journey with us. There will be more to come. Please share our stories with your family and friends. We are working on different stories about different parts of our lives. We would appreciate any tips to help us with funding to continue our work. To leave our legacy to you... Thank you again. We appreciate all of you....
BJ:
Another day come and gone
One day closer
One day at a time
Time drags so slow
Nothing to dao
Nothing going on
The mind wanders of it's own accord
Fleeting thoughts come and go
Laying here
Staring at the walls
The ceiling
What is this life for?
Time ticks away
Meaningless life
Worthless existence
Burdon to everyone I encounter
Good for nothing
But who cares?
Who wants to hear this whining bull crap?
I DID THIS. I DID THIS. I DID THIS.
My prison life
My crimes
I DID THIS.
WHO CARES?
STEPH:
I DO.
Again, thank you for sharing our journeys with us. We appreciate y'all. All tips will be greatly appreciated. They will go towards our work, and helping others that may be in need! May only happiness and good things come to all of you.
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Minneapolis ICE Shooting Updates
In recent weeks, Minneapolis has found itself at the center of a growing legal and political controversy following a shooting involving Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents. What initially appeared to be a straightforward federal use-of-force investigation has evolved into a broader dispute between state authorities and federal officials, raising serious questions about transparency, jurisdiction, and accountability. The most significant development so far is the state’s claim that it has been denied access to key evidence related to the incident. As public attention intensifies, the case is no longer just about what happened during the shooting. It is increasingly about who controls the facts, who gets to investigate them, and how justice is supposed to function when federal and state systems collide. What We Know About the Minneapolis ICE Shooting The shooting occurred during a federal immigration enforcement operation in Minneapolis. ICE agents were reportedly conducting official duties when gunfire erupted, resulting in injuries and immediate emergency response. Federal authorities confirmed the incident and stated that internal protocols were activated, including an automatic review by federal oversight bodies. From the beginning, details were limited. Officials cited the ongoing nature of the investigation and concerns about officer safety. This lack of information, while not unusual in federal cases, quickly became a point of friction for Minnesota state authorities, who argued that the public deserved clarity and that the state had a legal role to play in examining the incident. State Authorities Push for Transparency Minnesota state officials, including investigators and legal representatives, formally requested access to evidence connected to the shooting. This evidence reportedly includes body camera footage, surveillance recordings, forensic reports, and internal communication logs from the operation. According to state representatives, these requests were either delayed or denied outright. The state has since gone on record stating that it cannot independently assess the legality of the shooting without full access to the materials. This denial has fueled concerns that federal agencies are operating without sufficient external oversight, especially in incidents involving potential civilian harm. State leaders emphasized that their position is not adversarial by default. Rather, they argue that cooperation between federal and state agencies is essential to maintain public trust, particularly in communities already wary of immigration enforcement. Federal Response and Jurisdictional Limits Federal officials, for their part, maintain that the investigation falls squarely under federal jurisdiction. ICE operates as a federal agency, and shootings involving federal officers are typically reviewed internally and, when appropriate, by federal prosecutors or inspectors general. In statements released following the controversy, federal representatives cited legal restrictions that limit the sharing of evidence during an active investigation. They also stressed that premature disclosure could compromise witness testimony or investigative integrity. This explanation, while legally grounded, has done little to ease state frustrations. Critics argue that “ongoing investigation” has too often been used as a blanket justification for withholding information, even in cases where transparency could prevent misinformation and public unrest. Community Reaction and Public Trust The Minneapolis community has responded with a mix of concern, anger, and fatigue. For many residents, particularly in immigrant and marginalized communities, the shooting has reopened long-standing fears about aggressive enforcement tactics and lack of accountability. Community leaders and advocacy groups have called for the immediate release of non-sensitive evidence, arguing that transparency is a prerequisite for trust. Peaceful demonstrations and public forums have highlighted a broader demand: that no law enforcement agency, federal or otherwise, should be beyond scrutiny. Local officials echoed these concerns, noting that Minneapolis has spent years attempting to rebuild trust between residents and law enforcement. The perception that evidence is being withheld threatens to undermine that progress. Legal Implications of Denied Evidence From a legal standpoint, the state’s inability to access evidence raises complex questions. While federal agencies do have authority over their operations, states also have a responsibility to investigate deaths or injuries occurring within their borders. Legal experts suggest that this dispute could set a precedent. If states are routinely blocked from reviewing evidence in federal use-of-force cases, it may limit their ability to pursue independent inquiries or bring charges under state law when applicable. Some analysts believe the issue could ultimately be resolved in court, with judges determining whether the state has a legal right to access certain materials. Such a ruling could have national implications, influencing how future federal-state conflicts are handled. Political Dimensions of the Case The Minneapolis ICE shooting has also taken on a political dimension. Immigration enforcement remains a deeply divisive issue, and incidents like this tend to amplify existing ideological divides. State officials critical of federal immigration policies view the denial of evidence as symptomatic of a larger lack of accountability. Meanwhile, supporters of strict federal enforcement argue that state interference could hinder effective operations and put officers at risk. This political tension complicates the path forward. What might otherwise be a procedural disagreement risks becoming a symbolic battle over immigration, law enforcement authority, and states’ rights. What Happens Next? As of now, the investigation continues under federal oversight, while the state explores its legal options. Negotiations between state and federal officials have reportedly not been ruled out, suggesting that a compromise could still be reached. Potential next steps include limited evidence sharing under confidentiality agreements, congressional inquiries, or judicial review. Each option carries its own risks and consequences, both legally and politically. What remains clear is that public pressure is unlikely to fade. Minneapolis residents, like many Americans, are demanding clarity, fairness, and accountability in cases involving law enforcement use of force. A Broader Conversation About Accountability The Minneapolis ICE shooting is no longer just a single incident under investigation. It has become a lens through which broader issues are being examined: the balance of power between federal and state authorities, the limits of transparency, and the role of public oversight in a democratic society. Whether or not the state ultimately gains access to the evidence, the controversy has already sparked an important conversation. How that conversation translates into policy, practice, or reform remains to be seen, but its impact will likely extend far beyond Minneapolis. In the end, accountability is not only about assigning blame. It is about ensuring that systems function openly and fairly, especially when lives are affected. The outcome of this case may help determine how well those principles are upheld in the future.
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That was really interesting and you now have another subscriber