Breathing Nightmare

Breathing Nightmare

The Final Chapter

As I struggled to find the right words the doctors had explained to Matt that Mallory was not going to recover, but the sum of her parts could heal many. Instead of walking her down the aisle, Matt and Raeona walked Mallory down the hallway of the hospital. She donated valuable organs so others could live. It was the 11th of December and both weary and teary my little brother made the announcement on the doorsteps of Cottage Hospital. The crowd was numbering in the hundreds as he gave them the worst news possible.

The crowd was at first hushed, then tears flowed like champagne on New Years Eve. Matt quietly walked back into the hospital as the ruthless press yelled questions. A couple tried to make it through the sliding doors, but fuck them, I would have killed them rather than let them trample my little brother on a day like this.

The entire family was there, excepting Brian who was in the hold of the throes of guilt. He felt he dishonored the family by living through his brain surgery to watch his beautiful cousin die. Unreasonable, sure, but in his mind he felt repressed guilt. Now years later, I understand his situation.

Matt is a unapologetic Atheist, and I was praying day and night God would somehow save Mallory, but with this turn of events Matt will never believe again.

The aftermath was a revival of sorts. We had her memorial on the beach in Santa Barbara with well over a thousand people there to say goodbye. My mom had told a story about getting older and running out of tears, she didn’t cry for dad, but in the front row that day mom proved herself wrong.

Matt spoke first, articulate and precise, not a tear in his eye or a waiver in his speech. I was up next and my daughter Kelly had to hold me up, I fought through the emotion and finished the poem I had written, but without my daughter, I couldn’t have.

As we were finishing the memorial the skies turned a bright shade of yellow, a color I could never describe, Mallorys favorite color. It was a cloudy December day and I believe it was God telling us all that despite our loss he would forever watch over us all.

Matt took a few days and disappeared from the world and he will never say or admit this, but he started doing Gods work. He set up a 501c3, non-profit, called Vow4Mal and began reliving the worst day any of us could ever imagine in front of high schools and colleges. The group raised money for free Uber rides from bars and saloons, and drunk driving and drunk driving deaths plunged, significantly.

He may not believe in God but I know God believes in him. He and the family settled with the United States Congress though they, the Congress, per usual admitted no guilt.

Side bars:

Our first grandson Aiden was born eight days late and my daughter Katey was suffering, but he was born on Mallorys birthday, yep March 20th.

The liver went to a young man out in Apple Valley that my sister knew, he and Matt became very close, he and his wife had a beautiful baby girl, named Mallory. He later passed from complications but Matt is still close and visits Mallory the II quite often.

I broke my vow of taking my phone to bed on December 2nd 2019, and got a call from my brother Rob in New York, my mom had unexpectedly died from a massive heart attack.

Mark my words, I will never, ever bring my phone to bed again, call Cindy, she can answer it.

I implore you all to read more about this horrific tragedy and all the good that came with it. Matt will never want to hear this, but his actions make him an Angel in my eyes, he has more godliness in him than he cares to realize.

Thanks for letting me share my grief, and I’ll bring humor back soon. Love you all.

Crack Egg Out