You are the meaning of love

First of all, I want to say I am sorry, I am sorry for the stupid and idiotic things I have been saying and doing over the past years. After Dad committed suicide you were devastatingly standing alone with not even a year old baby. Everyone doubted you for his death because they didn't know about his mental health issues but you were brave and stood tall, everyone acted wickedly toward you but you did not give up. After his death, all you ever thought was about me, you would not even eat properly once a day because you were saving for me, you would wear ripped and torn clothes but you would buy me lovely new clothes so no one will make fun of me. I still remember you sitting in a corner and crying with no one supporting you, all I could do was wipe your precious tears with my unworthiest hands.

You worked so hard for me and you always put me first, sometimes I wonder what did I do to deserve a mother as loving and caring as you but when I started secondary school I started to disrespect you and became self-absorbed and did not care about you but you still loved and cared for me more than anything in the world. The older I got the more violent and dishonest I became. I would sneak out of the house, I would steal money, and do many other dreadful things I was slowly getting lost in the dark. On that day when you finally found out about what I had been doing, you called me and asked me to sit in front of you. When I looked at your face I could see the anger, sadness, and disappointment covering your face and I knew that you know about everything.

You took a deep breath, deep inside I was scared because I was thinking about whether you might not care or provide for me anymore but you cleaned the anger, sadness, and disappointment and looked into my bitter eyes and said

" I Don't know what I did wrong Emily, I shower you with my love and affection and I can't believe you have been doing these things behind my back"

My awful face was finally feeling the pain and embarrassment, I just wanted to disappear.

"My friends were saying to leave you and start a new life but I thought I could not do that to an innocent being and I could not leave you as your dad did, Emily I love you so much, but the way you were behaving was like someone throw a sharp knife through my heart. I want my sweet girl back! the one who loved me, I want her Back!

As her precious tears rolled down her cheeks, my guilt was slapping me back and forth and I felt her words pull me back into the light and the reality. I fell down on my knees as my tears streamed my cheeks I begged for forgiveness.

"I'm sorry mom I don't know why I was so blind I thought there was no one to support and love me, I did not realise that my greatest support was right beside me"



Sometimes there will be problems between parents and children but I have learned is that grab hold of that relationship even through the toughest storm because in the end, you will get through it all together but if you let go of it in the middle you might be in risk of losing everything and everyone you love.

So be strong and never let go of a relationship.