Word of the Day: 執着

I woke up again at 9 am. It is kind of late but I still have plenty of time to sort of get ready. I don't have any time to eat a gummy and I feel like it would be a waste to be high while talking to Keely.

I feel more refreshed than when I woke up at 4am or whatever. I was just thinking about the past and worrying about sort of trivial things. Now I am just focused on the future, even if it is just a few hours ahead.

I think I need to study a bit for the test today, even though I don't think it will be an issue for me, even if I get a few wrong. I should study just because, my other classmates are studying too and I don't want to be like, " Oh yea, I don't study. "... I don't really need to but, just for myself, I want to know I am doing my best or the best I want to give.

I think I will make another hotdog for breakfast. I have had 3 so far from yesterday. I know I am eating them too much but, they're so easy to make and I only bought 1 package.

I decided to take a gummy before she comes, I don't think it will matter being high with Keely or not, I don't think she notices anything. No one really expects anything and if I don't say and, I think that is when I realized, people don't need to know everything.

It is a really stupid lie but, I guess it is my one lie to my family and everyone I am keeping just to keep a float.

This warm tea in my hand feels so good, especially when it is softly raining outside. I want to just stay here and enjoy this for longer than I have.

I woke up to a very different vibe than this morning. I think it is a better vibe but, I worry about what was lost in sleep. I guess it doesn't matter. I can't save every emotion, I don't have the luxury to mull about every thought. I am lucky enough to be able to write here as I do and I want more. So greedy.

The tea is making me sleepy, surprisingly. I don't know what I am doing in the Japanese group but, I am going to keep going until I get reimbursed or at least hand the receipt over to someone. Because, passed that, I don't really have any ambitions with it. I don't know what I am doing anyway.

I'll just start talking in Japanese only or something, I don't know. I am trying not to over think anything because people seem sensitive in this group so, I will only do what I feel I want to do without any sense of bragging or trying to show off. Just if I feel like doing something, I'll do it.

I forgot to do my Paper planner this whole time so I am writing some BS in there right now until I am caught up with that, but that is actually giving me extra time so, I feel like, I need to be more productive with that time now that I have a surplus of it.

I am concerned with my Todo list but, I am considering that my primary task, to get caught up to today on my phsycial planner. I don't like google calendar because I fear it would make me start to hate my phone more.