Word of the Day: 敵

His face glowed in the dark. I wondered if it was from radiation or he is just some sort of starseed.

In the dark, his face changed so many times. I saw so many things in the dark. It was like communing with a djinn. All I thought was, it is better to be connected to him. I saw the faces of the past, maybe faces of the future? Really, what is wrong with a handsome man in my bed even if his spirit might not be human? I too also feel my bloodline... This time it was different. He used to fuck me so hard it would hurt but, we just melted into each other this time. He gave me so many kisses.

" My love, my queen. "

No, I should care, I am not these things. They're lies, those kisses.. ah, we were so hot, all the juices evaporated from below. But I didn't want to remove him from me. He started speaking to the shadows in his language. Seeing the faces of his past, no doubt. I knew enough to stay quiet. He cupped his hands over my mouth, fucking me from behind, trying to keep my ecstasy contained; hiding from the footsteps from the hallway.

He knows that I find him irresistible, I think he could do without me, but ah, this is lust. My body misses him, I feel a soul tie created in the form a leash. But if were to become pregnant...

"Do you want a baby?"

Every time he asks me that, I have no response. It would be irresponsible for me to bring life into this world. I have no job and live off of SSI, I tried making my own company but failed to save up money for this. I have told myself that so many times. I always thought maybe my thoughts would change naturally but maybe it doesn't. Is that why I pursue difficult connections? So the answer will always be no?

He did ask me to marry him before, but I couldn't even look him in the eye.. I HID WHAT?! You hid me no doubt. I hid you from my family. My mom didn't even know his face.

I think I am over Yuuichirou now, it hurts a bit but I think I understand now. But now a handsome Korean oppa is asking me to go out. The world is so weird. Right when I woke up at 3:12 am, his message came almost like a good morning text..... except it was a picture of a dick.

I am usually a very loyal person, and after the Russian guy demolished my vagina thoroughly and we communed with the dark. I feel our sex is too magical to throw away... He is so strong, so beautiful. Calculating. Analyzing. His body is ectomorph, even though he said he ate a lot while camping, I don't see him having been chubby.

I am just trying to survive this really fucked up world. My mom is horrible. I guess we both don't like our moms for some reason. I wonder what happened to him so long ago for that the happen. For me, I think it is the fact she doesn't allow me to live my life. I want to destroy her thread so she doesn't have anything over me.

My poor notes for my errands are all erratic now because of her waves. It is messed up. I hate it. It is just one page so it is ok, but I am just trying to do what I can.

I watched that crazy Leo lady's stream. I really feel bad about that because it was directed to Leos and my Leo placement is so obscure I feel like it'll affect me karmically to watch something not in my sun sign.

I unfortunately can't use Japanese on this site because the input method seems to take the whole sentence and puts it into Arabic structure, which Japanese is not. Making it illegible, because it would be even more messed up that Yoda speech, but Yoda speech in Japanese, if that makes any sense?