Word of the Day: 綿棒

I am worried about eating these gummies too quickly but I am sure I will be getting out soon.

My mom tripped in her room and injured her leg. Great, that is going to block some of my progress going forward but hopefully it will heal quickly by the 15th.

I decided to cancel my gym appointment today to go with my mom to the hospital. I don't mind because I think the more I head towards Newberg, the better it will be for me. I feel sorry for my mom but I also have to think of what is best for me.

With that note, I feel I am going to have to postpone calling my dad another day because I don't feel like there is an opening for it mentally or emotionally at the moment. I have a lot on my plate right now and I feel like it is just an extra thing I don't need to add.

I feel so tired today, I think it is more about the weed and the energy drinks sort of draining me but I feel like I need it in a wierd way? Like, I know suppressing stuff isn't good but I just don't have time to respond.

I later figured out I am so tired because I started my period so, that explains a lot. I managed to bum the ride to Newberg with Pam and my mom going to the hospital.

I was able to check in on the apartments and found out that there are 2 other people on the list. Filling out the application is sort of hard. They asked about arrest and convictions and stuff and unfortunately I feel like I need to be honest about it.

I don't know if it is on my records or not but I might as well give them a heads up for that.. Probably too honest for my own good.

I am feeling like a bag of lead today. I can't seem to motivate myself to do anything and have just been eating. It is hot so it is annoying to move around and I am ever so slightly sweaty.

This is going to be my weekend for the most part. Eating, loafing around, and eating again. No wonder I am back at 208 from 204. I don't even know what I did to lose that weight that day. Maybe I need to exercise more but I feel like complete shit and don't want to move. I stink to wear I can even smell myself.

This might be a curse in itself, but I guess I should be happy it's not the alternative. I can't imagine being pregnant at this age. I guess it wasn't in the cards for me to have that normal life but after talking to my aunt, the whole having a loving spouse for as many years is not that bad.

I feel bad lying to my aunt about the weed but I don't really care because they have lied and done worse to me, so me lying about taking some indica is not as bad. I just feel like I am off my wheel right now. I don't have a real direction for things and I am worried about the move to Newberg.

What if it isn't everything that I want it to be? What if it is too hard for me to live there? I feel like I can probably get by if I do have a job at Fred Meyer or Grocery Outlet, but a part of me wishes I was still hot like I was in my 20's so I can just audition of roles on Backstage and get bad like 1000 dollars to pretend I have diabetes or something.