Word of the Day: 一口

I feel like a moron. I talked a big talk but I am not doing shit because I can't calm my mind down enough to just do 0ne thing.

I guess that is the purpose of me writing here, and sorting my mind out. I am just casually having Reo on the phone and, I.. feel... I am noticing the sky and the sounds from the planes leaving the airplane museum here. He is going to Japan, maybe he's lying but either way he is meaning he is going to ignore me again. I am not really looking forward to how I am going to be feeling in the next couple of months and I will probably miss him, if I am honest to myself. I am sort of... I don't know, I just know that I don't want to leave this moment thinking about him, even though it splits into two goodbyes.

On one hand, I will see him leave my phone and he will be having to visit graveyards and probably conducting some sort of ritual of some sort.

I fell asleep. That was not a good thing, I mean I am a bit more rested and maybe my bode recovered a bit more but, I really needed time to do math. I am debating whether I should still even go today. Now my stomach hurts because I was dumb enough to eat spicy food while I am stressed.

My mom still has my antiacids so, I can't even take medicine to help me out here. I am eating sherbert to sort of try to help but I think it is making it worse. I do feel like I am getting karma right now for my attitude before and blurting out what I thought, but I guess I am still trying to recover. because it is in my best interest to keep striving for myself, despite myself.

I feel proud I answered c by myself. Well I didn't but, going through it was fun. I worry about the test. I have a problem remembering " Power of a Quotient Rule "

I mean I understand it in theory but once negatives come into play I get confused. That is even the case for when I am inputting it into ChatGPT.

But they are clean notes, I feel. I am like 85% done, I feel.

The neighbors kept me all on edge, it was horrible. But I mean, at least it cooled down a bit today.

I am just writing note after note. I guess I am doing all the stuff Reo said I would. I felt so guilty in the moment though, like. Bruh, I just want to chill. I don't need the pressure.

It is so sad that I am finally studying the math, and learning which is good, but it doesn't make me feel confident that there are too many things I don't understand, and I don't know how to compensate within my notes. I don't know the terminology for a lot of things to even ask properly. Also I am not always aware of what we're going to be needing a calculator for but, I feel like anything with a decimal is probably going to be calculator.

I hate this shit. I mean I find it facinating but since I am not going into the hard sciences, I have little use for these computations. I mean, it would be cool to put them into some sort of practice but, I feel sick, I am tired, I want to go home already sitting at my dining table.