Word of the Day: 天皇制

My mind feels crazily clear. I had 3 gummies and I actually have no intruding voices, no intruding thoughts. I am really free. Sometimes I play like 3 different sound devices just to feel even slightly clear, but right now, the music is all I need.

It is weird but I am actually sort of happy about it. It is weird because I haven't had this feeling since maybe... 13 years old? Yea, this feeling is very rare. maybe I am conforming in some weird way, but I feel like, I need to allow everything to work for me. As long as I stay true to what I want to do and what I need to do. If people judge me past that, then I will move on. I need to adjust myself for that. I need my eyes back though. I have been Odin long enough. Or Arya with the faceless men.

Yes I remember the Question:

For what reason did you come to school?

I remember what I wrote.. You know, Izaac probably lied to me too. I don't think he was Scottish. But it was very interesting.

I fell asleep unfortunately and now it is 10 am. I told Reo about the hack in my computer. I feel weird contacting him again but he is more computer savy than myself and, I don't really hate him so, it doesn't make sense to avoid talking to him about this. Because actually more than lovers or anything, we were confidants, completely.

I don't remember what I dreamt about but it was actually quite large, like I remember there was like a whole movie but, when I woke up I sort of panicked about how late I woke up.

Unfortunately I have nothing to analyze if I have forgotten everything. I am on day 8 so that means I have 4 days of work to do so I need to just get going right away now.

I was listening to Yozora and stuff and was learning more Japanese words, which is helpful since it gives me more themes for here. Also it felt like she recognized my pain so, it felt nice to be understood or validated for my feelings. It also feels like, almost if I am able to preview a very private meeting. I appreciate that, and also I appreciate the... well, not concerned with authenticity, it is more like consideration. I think to acknowledge someone is more of a "considerate" thing.

I have no idea if I should email my teachers because, the fucking cyber security team at the school is probably the one who hacked my shit. I have no idea...

Some of the possible people who hacked my computer:

• The ACT Team
• Someone within range of my wifi (local)
• The School
• Also unfortunately, it could be my family but I feel that is more farfetched, but it isn't off the table.
• It also could be RCO, but I am not sure. I don't think so, but as far as " Government access " they'd probably have some sort of clause in all the fucked up ROI's I signed to prove me incompetent to actually manage my own devices for some reason.

Either way, I feel like, it is too much to pay this expense. I also can't ask the ACT team to help me pay for this since, if it is them, they'd be tipped off and would probably erase things from their end.

The other option is letting it go completely, and if they try to do it again, film it with my phone.