Word of the Day: 直接

Pretending to be ok right now.

The doordasher ended up dropping off my food somewhere else. I got a refund in credits right away but I was disappointed as I didn't want to go through ordering a whole other thing again.

I ended up getting Vietnamese food this time. I hope this comes through otherwise something is really wrong..... The dropped it off at the wrong door again but I caught to door dasher leaving and they went and got it for me.

So weird. I guess my Indian food is sitting outside someone's house right now.

My brother also sent me some non-lust Christian propaganda video. I have no idea why he is sending me that stuff. I guess mom saw the condom in the trash can and told my brother, I have no idea. Or maybe since I am not talking to anyone in my family, enjoying the heck out of my peace, they think I am just fucking dudes left and right. I don't care, it is stupid.

I love my brother but we are very different and don't relate at all.

I didn't stream today which I find horrible but I am resting my body I guess. I won't be able to do this going forward so I am enjoying this slow paced life right now.

I mean, I was so happy watching Jumanji, eating food, and cleaning. I felt like when I was a kid at my mom's house, like my apartment really felt like home.

I did have some travels in the Ether but I haven't been dreaming too much lately. I might stay up tonight to clean since I have been napping all today. I need to work a bit more than I have, I have been too lazy today.

My home is a little messy and not so pretty but, I am comfortable and it is most important how a place makes you feel, not what it looks like.

I took two doses of weed gummies right now, I feel like, swimming in the ether will make cleaning a bit more interesting.

I am in fact too poor to buy a vacuum right now so I can't do the floor but, I need to do what I can do, like just because I can't do the floor doesn't mean I can't wash the dishes, you know what I mean?

I haven't finished all the vietnamese food but the bahn mi and salad rolls were soo good. I got a soup too but it isn't as tasty to me. I also sort of go the shits, maybe from the habaneros.

I am still sort of baffled at what my brother sent me, I just am leaving it alone but it is so cringy. I think it is some sort of weird test to see how I respond to it. I feel sort of disgusted by such a blatant ploy. I guess also it is the implications that my family thinks I am a whore so, that's annoying but I don't care. I am going to school on the 29th.

The only thing I need to focus on is preparing for that, and ignoring any sor t of stupidity trying to rile me up.

Am I happier not streaming? I mean even if the answer is yes to that, I can't stop since I have to finish those commissions. I am not worried about that this moment, I am just trying to finish my soup and then clean the bathroom.

Tim has been messaging me more today. I feel bad that I sort of talk to him but I pretty much dismiss him. I can't hold off for Sebastian when he said the next time might not be until October.