Word of the Day:でたらめ

I have no topic right now, but I felt like typing. I slept a lot yesterday. I even missed my EBT appointment but I managed to get that settled.

Teresa and Keely are messaging me right now, but I just deflected their bullshit. I have a nice pile of things to do this weekend, and I woke up with a good amount of energy. I made a pot of tea just for good measure too, but my heart or... not mind, my mind is pretty good right now compared to yesterday. It is like my soul is sort of suffering right now, but it isn't really suffering so much as bruised, I guess.

I hate all the negative beliefs I learned from my family, I know that is holding me back right now, and the fact I know that is the case, makes me upset. I actually don't care about that anymore. I just want everyone who is useless in my life and have no good will towards me to become completely irrelevant in my life. I am trying to find new people to populate my life, but it is sort of hard to do from where I am currently at due to that.

I do need money. I am hoping I can get a withdrawal from here soon just so I can pay my electric bill on the 20th but, I also know I need to fill out the light and water assistance sheet still as well. But my todo list isn't organized enough to handle that right now.

Since I just fill it out as it organically comes to me, right now it is not organized for bigger tasks. Like, I just crossed out all the "farming" tasks and moved it tomorrow, but that doesn't stop it from taking up that space, you know?

Next thing is Laundry but that is a whole process. I will need to sort it into different containers. I will need my phone fully charged, need my charger charged, and I will have to spend most of my day in the laundry room.

I also need to make the bed before that, because I need a clean surface to fold my clothes on. So... I need to figure out where to put the clean laundry right now. That probably means I need to fold and put away stuff first before even sorting the dirty clothes at this point. And at this point, I am forgetting which piles are clean and which are dirty. I mean I have a general idea, the two piles in the living room of " Ugly " and " Cool " clothes I am pretty sure are clean.

I was also looking at what might need to be gotten rid of. I usually decide something is for the bin if it is stained or has a hole in it. I don't have a sewing kit or know how to sew so I wouldn't be able to fix anything that, " Might be good, but it needs to be taken in here. "

I am also listening to a Tarot card reader I already removed from my subscribes so it is putting me in a odd energy, if I am completely honest. It is like this subtle annoyance but, it is family so it feels like its "progressing time" but, I know being familiar with something doesn't mean it is a good thing.

I have accumulated 4 hours on my TODO list so, I am in no rush right now, but my feeling is really shitty right now. I think I need to turn the channel and finish my cuppa tea, fr.