Word of the Day: お手洗い

Jahon helped me realize some things, I mean, yes he is trying to neg me and do word salad but that doesn't really bother me as, he is just attempting to gain the upper hand in a poor situation already, it is sort of a weakness of his, he lowers his guard only a little bit, I don't blame him, I didn't give him any reason to trust me. This is how he reminds me of my father. My dad was a weak man, but surprisingly spiritual.

Also I don't know if he just hated his father so much that led him to do these sort of things. Perhaps it was the rigidity of a military background, my grandfather's obvious command over things. The value of knowledge. I also think though, just because I do recognize that he has extra senses, doesn't mean it is for the better. But there is a part in me that, whether I agree or not, I don't feel like I should interfere with his will. Because only then would it mean that we were tied together and I am not really believing in that any longer; A powerful psychic, doesn't mean a soul tie.

I learned this from several people over the years, harsh lessons. I do wonder if he was the man in my dream, but it might be a trick, he might specialize in glamour magic.

My blood witch lineage sort of shows itself when my nose bleeds randomly, like 11 from Stranger Things. I feel it ties me to my grandmother. I don't mind that she pulls at me, same way as I don't mind my dead grandfather biting me in my dreams like a zombie. But I only allow a limit of that.

I mostly deal in automatic writing and time. Basically, a modern day scribe. This is rare anyway since writing was never seen as a female's job for a long while, despite the fact that maybe too many books has male names attached to them, the actual writer would've been biologically female.

I am now I am just listening to hello talk lives which are easy for me. I need to charge the phone soon so I am not going to be able to stay for too long. I feel like writing probably will take precedence, it will give me 30 minutes and I will be happy to receive them.

But sticking to the theme of this story, I am very grateful that my mom helped clean my bathroom, it gave me a little peace. I know that I will need the carpets done soon so I will consider that at a later date.

I actually need to shave my legs and such but I feel resistance into going into the shower again, I woke up in the middle of the night trying to do it, but the water sort of put me to sleep a bit. So I just went back to bed. I think Jahon was worried, like he even thought I would leave the house without clothes for some reason.

I mean, my mom did drive me crazy enough in the past, so maybe he saw that somewhere.

I I need to pay for my internet so my two options going forward for 2 hours is either pay attention to my body or pay my internet bill.

Ah, I guess I don't need a link, I just need to type the URL.

It gives me 10 minutes so, it is all good. But this is such a strange influx of values here. I got more time, but less Top priorities so... I don't know how to feel about it.