Word of the day: もじもじ

It was really funny the other day but not. My dog and I were going on a walk but, it was her first time walking on a busy sidewalk next to cars so, she wanted me to carry her the whole way.

Basically I learned she is a country girl at heart and isn't for the streets, lol.

I can only take her tot he park from now on, it was too much to carry her like 3 miles that way with a drink in my hand.

I am still waiting for my student, I am sure he will be here but I am just always fidgety right before he comes, I cam super early and left the house without properly charging my phone and charger so I am having to keep my phone off to conserve battery.

I did call some places to ask for times of appointments before doing that, because I wasn't going to wait for the reminder call from them later this evening. I am just going to relax this evening and see if I can go back to that mode I was in, but if I can't it is ok.

I am being advised not to play myself small, but I don't really know what is small or big in my life. I guess that is just giving me some motivation for my apartment. That is a big thing, hopefully. I want it anyway so, I am just going to assume they are saying, "Don't back away from what you want."

Speaking of big and small, Kim up and disappeared from my DMs lately. I don't know if he went off to another person or is just busy and achy right now. He was complaining about that before. Also I don't really have any right to talk about him since I don't identify as someone who likes him romantically. I do think he triggered something in me, but that might've not been romantic. I feel a blockage when I try to think of him romantically and his voice in my head also says as much.

I wonder if I should call that Tami person after today or not. It is a new week so, I think I need to at least figure out a 'schedule' as I think they work in weeks with that ACT program and I can't rely on them to call me it seems. I am worried about the program in general but at least I can just assume that if it is useless, I am on my own and I can do something tentative as before.

I am hoping they can find something for me though, I feel like I need to give at least one program a full shot rather than just poopoo it right off the bat.

rolled dice to see if I should call her, but it said I should wait until she contacts me. I guess I should just focus on what's on my plate right now rather than trying to plan for when things fall through. It's a horrible mentality to have anyway.

I wonder if I should ask my mom to come pick me up or perhaps she'll just come and get me? She didn't answer her phone so I don't know... My phone is low battery so I am worried it will die before I get a reply. I am sure it will last the hour though.

I am definitely going to meditate and relax when I get home. I want to enter that trance state again and get more information...

Let's just get through this day.