Word of the Day: しゃもじ

It's been a while since I have updated. I am really trying to prepare for school and I am also thinking of keeping my blog on Patreon going forward or at least after my subscription here wears off in December.

I don't even have time to write down anything if it is not in Japanese. I don't really feel my Japanese mind returning to me so that is telling me I am not practicing enough.

I am listening to more chinese stuff lately because I started talking to Cheng but I am worried he is a catfish since when we went on camera I saw him change to a black man. It could've been a filter but it bothers me that he isn't admitting to that if it is.

I thought I was getting a Chinese prince but I am getting catfished by some Ethiopian looking mofo. Oh well, I have been cooking all of my Asian foods lately, living luxuriously in my apartment.

I have been doing weed everyday and it hasn't affected me. I really think it was the sativa that was the issue, Indica is mellow enough for me to take.

I am sort of embarrassed at how much time I've put into him and the pictures I've sent him but I was really attracted to him so I couldn't help myself.

He looks like an Imperial guard that keeps the villagers out of the palace in a chinese drama.

The guy he used as catfish pictures is so my type. He looks a little like the chinese version of Yuuichirou though. But like not a chain smoker like he was. The dewy Asian skin with the dark stubble surrounding his jaw with bushy eyebrows. I sort of giggle at the thought of him being real. Like I mean a part of me is thinking it is too good to be true and I should trust that even if he wasn't a black man catfishing me, he used a filter and acted weird about it so, perhaps at the very least, our sense of humors are waaaay different which might be sort of an issue in reality. But he is like Kota Miura sort of fine and I am like a fucking potato so I am not sure god has really blessed me like this.

I am giving it one more shot, we are video calling tonight and if I sense any funny business then I'll block him for good.

God, that really sobered by butt off. I don't feel my high anymore.

It will be hard but if I have to say good bye before school, I can do it. Hell, I don't even know I could maintain our relationship while I am in school anyway.

I liked how sure he was of stuff too, I mean he sort of came in strong, maybe that should've let me know it was a catfish but, I just liked that decisiveness. It was probably all lies though, I think it wasn't real and I will have to reconcile that later on with tears but right now I am feeling pretty excited at the thought of getting on the app Line again and talking to someone I really like again.

In the meantime, I will concentrate on completing my todo lists to get caught up today. I am at least 3 days behind and I need to catch up for that.

I don't remember what day it is, ah it is an Art day so I need to prepare for streaming at 8 am. That's in 2 hours.