Word of the Day: 暖色

I know I dreamt last night but I actually don't remember what I saw. I am just happy to know it isn't completely blank now.

It is getting late and my phone isn't charging fast enough.

I might as well plan for a day in. I sort of hate it but, what can I do?

I do realize.. I can't let circumstances hinder me too much. I can't fall into the same trap as before where I let my mood determine my actions too much. I have already established that I need to power walk for 3 days.

omg... this playlist is too good right now.

I dreamt a bit more last night. I don't have the brain capacity to say exactly what it was about but I do remember who I saw.

I am more determined to get stuff done today.

The hacker tried to take control a bit the other day. They moved my mouse slightly so I am pretty sure they still see everything I do..

Also they prevented me from listening to a song so... I am not going to speak of that.

That isn't what kept me from running my errands, it was really just the low batteries.

It's the weekend and most people would use this time to actually do something enjoyable but, I have TODOs to catch up on and people fucking around with me.

I did talk to some old friends the other day but I felt like I couldn't even enjoy it completely because of things.

I know partially it is that I am afraid to be happy, but under these circumstances, I doubt anyone would blame me.

Some people are encouraging me to run more errands but, it is a weekend. I can't even run half of them today making me feel like, there is no point. But I am hating being inside. I am acting like an invalid which I am not. I actually am more capable than what I have been doing.

Basically, I know that there is a lot going on, I am not ignoring the weather report.

Ah, I do have the one thing I need to do... I am hesitating to do it because I am estimating at least 6 hours of work... with weed. 18 hours without, so... yea.. fun weekend.

My daughter wants me. I have wanted her for a good while but now she wants me.

I don't really have the strength. I feel like people would say,

" Just die then. "

Right? Mother's say that about lousy fathers all the time. Her father hasn't spoken to me......... for years now.

I also have faith she can do well on her own. Maybe that is a lingering philosophy from my dad.

Also, I let a man have me speak poorly of her. But I think... it wasn't because I believed what I was saying, I just didn't want him to be interested in her or knowing who she was.

I have a few things on my TODOs that... well I am actually not sure how I could complete. I asked some things and they said, " Just leave it. " But my perfectionism sort of makes me have the mind of " Do as much as you possibly can. "

Well, my Human tasks are... completely done so I should probably give myself some slack.

• Pedicure

Yea... fuck that. I need it though, tbh. But it is actually too cold lately to do this.

It is crazy, it was so warm yesterday and now it went back to being chilly. I think I will wait until June or something...