Word of the Day: 詐欺

Hello everyone,

I was endeavoring to work on my Jail Journal or start translating some of my older blog posts into Japanese but I just haven't had the time of day to do that lately.

I just sort of want to write my piece and get it over with or... I guess I missed venting like I normally do on here. I know that it is sort of chaotic use of social media but I like it that way.

I have started drinking Mike's hard lemonade regularly which is horrible because I am constantly waking up with a headache and feeling all shitty. No amount of milk thistle and burdock root will cure a bad habit but I feel like I have no other choice.

I am still quite depressed with my circumstances and I think the snow sort of added to the depression, not being able to leave the house.

I am still on my diet and what not but I noticed I have been sneaking snacks and such lately because I have been stressed with medical bills and such but I am trying to be good today. I got down to 192 lbs which is nice but I haven't lost anything else so far. I think it is because I have been doing that snacking which I need to stop doing.

Tomorrow I have therapy which I am not looking forward to but at least it will get me out of the house. I feel very empty and directionless.

I have these two guys interested in me but I don't feel motivated to pursue either of them. I just don't think they're serious about me. One is 26 and kind of kiddish. While the other one is 28 and a bit more stable. They are both younger than me so I feel some sort of way about that. the 26 year old is 9 years younger than me.

I didn't mention any of this to my therapist. I feel like we're not getting along really and it is sort of just an odd thing with her. I go because... well, I feel like I have to go because of the jail stuff and I don't know how they'll report it.

I have found a few commissions for art which is nice. It gives me a few hundred bucks in my pocket so it is nice. I still wish I could practice my languages here more easily so, I am just waiting for that update.

I am going through my expenses and trying to see if there are any sort of subscriptions I can delete and figured Doordash was the first to go. I pay for Uber One and that includes UberEats so, I figured it is pointless to pay for 2 food delivery apps. I also paused my Audible for 3 months so that saves me 45 dollars about.

I thought maybe the audible could replace tarot cards for me for things to listen to while doing stuff. It is kind of like watching a movie but I can move around and do errands while listening.

I have 3 extra credits for that so that is why I didn't cancel the subscription because Audible is evil like that and will have you sacrifice your credits if you cancel.

Ah! I can just buy some Japanese podcast or audiobooks for that. That's pretty easy listening.

I have been getting bored and just drinking listening to tarot and feeling terrible. I just feel stupid and my life feels pointless. I think it is a sign I got tired of it.