Why the word "normal" should be banned

Everyone uses the term "normal," to describe something in their life or just simply their life as a whole. It can be used to judge people, admire people, noun, or adjective. Which usage is best the usage you may ask? None.

I am a 26 year old female growing up in Long Island (yes I say IN instead of ON Long Island). From how I grew up, "normal," around me was Catholic school education, fancy homes, and cars, AND boats. I went away to college, I landed a fancy banking job at 20 years old, and I moved out as soon as I could. Notice a pattern here? I kept leaving. Kept going. Kept running. From what? Not my incredible family, not my fancy life, but to find something to make me feel "normal."

I've admired people who appeared "normal," to me my whole life. Anyone smiling, I wanted to smile just like them. Anyone having a great time, I wanted to have a great time just like them. They were what I considered normal at one point. Heck, people have probably looked at me and said I look normal (unless I was out dancing, then maybe not). Boy, oh boy, are they wrong.

Mental health is real. Feeling like an outsider in your own body is real. Craving more and more to feel normal is real. Since I was a child, all I wanted to be was peaceful. I wanted my depression and anxiety, as an 11 year old, to just go away and leave me alone. It wasn't the anxiety of presenting infront of the class, because my personality is so big you could hear me from Mars! It was just anxiety of every day life...as a kid. Depression checked into my brain's hotel around 5th grade and has been residing there in a penthouse suite ever since. I've left multiple evicition notices over the years, but he refuses to leave.

I remember my parents crying the first time I told them I wanted to be "normal," as if it was their fault. All the fancy things around me were the product of my parents' hard work, but not a cure to how I was feeling. They did everything in their power to help me - and still to this day. I've been in therapy since then and now twice a week! I was on medicine back then and now on I am on three different types! Notice another pattern, yet?

I am positive that anyone suffering with something right now has said they want to feel normal, they want to go back to normal, or they want to be normal. Well, after years of help, therapy, panic attacks, numbness, exhaustion, AND wisdom, I have one thing to say about the word "normal." It can go to hell.

Why are we letting a word be used so often and used in a way to bring ourselves down? What even IS normal? Even if we were to define normal, every single one of us is going to have a different definition. Someone in Utah is going to have a different normal than a girl from Long Island. Someone who works in psychology is going to have a different definition of normal than a banker like me. My own sister has a different definition than I do. So what the heck are we doing? I don't know about you, but I am sick of that little word having so much impact on me.

That person smiling that I mentioned earlier, could be hurting inside. That person having a great time that I mentioned earlier, could be dealing with something that's hidden. Normal is what you want it to be. My normal is medicine, and therapy, and adventures to help navigate my life in a positive way. I only recently became okay with that, and guess what? That is okay, too!

For years I kept talking to my brain's penthouse resident about how mean he is and how he took away my chance at normalcy. What I should have been doing is realizing how much I've accomplished while he's moved in! I graduated college early, I work my booty off at an incredible job in NYC, and I can seriously accomplish anything I put my mind to.

We need to give ourselves more credit. You - reading this - you're awesome! You're your own normal and that is so cool. Your life is your normal and that is even cooler. But you know what would be the coolest? If we just got rid of the word normal all together.