Why?

So what is life for right? like literally what are our lives for. I mean it's not to make others happy because that is one hell of a fucking task to even get done. I mean sure we can make people happy every now and then but what about us. Is everyone that so self-centered that they don't stop to look at those around them? I mean really why bother with human existence if we can't take a fucking moment to consider everyone else around us. Why can't we just take a fucking chance to look at those we love and stop and wonder what is going on. I guess it's just the thoughts that run through my head lately. Actually, all the time.

Life is sunshine and rainbows for most of us as kids, in some way. Whether it was the places we got to go to or the experiences we created to get by we found ways to make things better for ourselves. We found ways to love each other and take time to consider those around us. Children may be fucking cruel to each other but when it comes down to it those little jerks are some of the best people you will ever come to know. Take it from me, a stuck adult questioning the world around her. Take it from an adult cursed with a mind that constantly tears her apart and knocks her down.

When we grow up we lose so much of that love for all. We lose everything we get taught as children. We stop caring for others and just steamroll everyone. Why!? Why do we have to just focus on what we want individually instead of as a whole?! Are we that fucking selfish? are we that tired of fucking people and giving a damn? Because anyone that could see inside my head will know that I'm not. I care when no one thinks it, I care when no one fucking sees it. I listen and sit there and ponder the world when most want to lie and say they give a damn. I wish I knew better ways to say this.

I'm not a perfect person, but in reality, no one is. There are times I think about myself and have selfish needs and wants too. But I have made more mistakes than there are bones in the human body. I've learned to acknowledge those little things, to care for those little things because that's truly all we have in life. The compassion we share for others, the desire to keep moving forward to either piss off others or help others, the care for those around us. I sit and write this after having the most shittiest days I could possibly have with only a few thoughts in my head.

Why?!

Why can't we ask someone how they are doing? Why can't we just stop and check in with someone and just truly care about what they are doing or how they feel? Can't we just stop and think about those little things or ask questions about those little things? Can't we put humanity back to what it's supposed to mean? Can't we start being more supportive than a bra or jockstrap?

Why?

Please when you finish reading this just stop and let the air outside blow by you, listen to those little sounds, stop and watch a loved one do something. Just be present, be there and ask them a question. But when you ask them listen truly to what they say. Look in their eyes, listen to the tone of their voice, watch as to how they say something and question it more. Give them a hug, do something stupidly small for them and just be there. But ask yourself. . . Why?