Who needs a superhero? When I Have her.

Hi Mumma,

Hope you are Fine

I am missing your nap, your food, your talks, your everything and you are my superwomen.

Mumma, you know today is a very special day, it’s your day. Although every day is Mother's Day, but on this special day I want to give you a gift. The gift of Confession. Which I have never shared with anyone else yet. I know you're a supermom. You will read my letter while you work So please just sit back and read this.

Mumma…….I am LESBIAN!

Yes, Mumma I am lesbian, and this probably from my birth which neither you can change, neither me nor anyone. Maybe you hate me now, maybe you feel like slapping me, maybe you don't feel like reading this letter but please read it once, I wrote this letter with great courage. What should I do, it is in my nature, will probably go with me when I die. But please believe me, I tried a lot to change myself for you, But there is something I couldn’t forget. There have been some such incidents that I am not able to change myself. Today I want to tell you everything.

Do you still remember? Dad’s cousin whose name is Bharat (it's a fake name) used to come home often. He used to bring us some chocolates, he used to play with us and we liked him too much. One day when you and father went to sleep, then me and my elder sister and that uncle were sleeping in the same room. On that day our grandparents were not there. He comes to our bed when we fall asleep and he tries to molest me. I sat up surprisingly and he pretended That I was feeling so hot, so I came and slept beside you. Are you scared? What happened? Did you have a bad dream?

Same thing happened again with me. There was a neighbor's son whose sister used to play with us. He also tries to molest me. I still thought of telling you but on that day my younger brother had a minor accident and you were very upset . So I decided again not to tell you anything. Same thing happened so many times , once in the coaching center and once in an office . I kept quiet for fear of losing my job.

You must be thinking why are these things I am telling you know?

Because mommy I hate men now.. It Doesn't mean that I hate my father and my brother too. I am very lucky to have got such a father and brother. But I can't trust men. I know that you are afraid of society and our society will not accept me. Our relatives will hate me . But mother, if I get in trouble tomorrow, will this society or our relatives will help me? Or tell me one thing whatever I told you, now that we talk to their parents about it, will they support us? So why are you and me afraid of this society? There are some people who don't like to see me after knowing this truth. They make fun of me but I don't care and there are some people who support me because they understand me., I don't care about them either, but I care about you a lot. Cause you and Dad are everything to me. Every girl dreams to find a good boy but I believe that one should have a secure life, be it with a girl or a boy. Or it's not like that there is a girl in my life that I want. I don’t have a feeling for boy and I also know that you can’t see me to marry with a girl that’s why I don't want to get married because I don’t want to spoil anyone’s life. Suppose on your request I marry a guy and if he comes to know about this and if some issues happened between us only you’ll be upset.

You know I felt that so many times that maybe I should die. But Suicide is a Sin. And you taught us not to be weak.

If you still want me to marry a man then I am ready to do the same for you. I’ll do as you say. And I'll accept your decision and accept it wholeheartedly. And if you agree with me, and you understand me, then I don't care about anyone. Do you remember that song from the movie “ Like Stars On The Earth (Taare Zameen Par)”

Though I've never told you

But I'm afraid of darkness mom

Though I've never shown it

I do care for you mom

Aren't you aware of everything mom

You know everything my mom

Please don't leave me like this in the crowd

I won't be able to come back home mom

Please, you don't send me so far that

You will not even remember me mom

Mom, am I that bad

Am I that bad, my mom

My eyes will look for you

Thinking you will come and hold me, mom

But I do get scared mom

Though I never let it come on my face

I am scared within mom

Aren't you aware of everything mom

You know everything my mom

Somehow, I relate this song to me. You know I have tried so many times to tell you that i am Lesbian me But due to some circumstances I did not want to disturb you any more. Also I have no feelings for men. I have got so many proposals for a date but I couldn't accept them because I HATE MEN…I HATE MEN…

I am so sorry to upset you, and thank you for being there for me. Please never stop supporting me, Mommy. I hope you will understand me and I'll wait for your response .If you didn’t reply to this letter Then I'll think that you don’t even want to see my face. I don't know what I would do without you in my life.

Thanks for reading my letter Mommy Love you and take care yourself.

Yours Loving Daughter

Deepti