Who am I?

The new beginning in the post-thirty-fifth period has brought so many questions. Where do I go from here, and how do I adapt myself to the new conditions of life? Should I adjust myself whit some bullet points in short life plan or simply let the river of life bring new waves and/or calm waters? Hmm... I'm not exactly someone who is accustomed to leave everything to chance.

My beloved husband lives 400 kilometers away from me. I'm trying to find a new job in a new city. In a city where everything is far away and time is a luxury. Today, I experienced a mild nervous breakdown that arose from questions, like why I can't find a job, why I have a feeling that my new house isn't really my home, and why, even after two years, I'm not getting pregnant.

During the past week, I went for two job interviews. It's all clear to me that it is not some success but, at least to start with. I feel like with my master's degree in psychology, I'm being offered a position as a secretary at one job, while at the other, even though the call was for an assistant in human resources, I'm being offered a one-month position as a database administrator. In that position I'm supposed to make phone calls and dress nicely for potential employers. It's not that I have anything against the job of a secretary, but if I'm being downgraded, my stomach knots up and a firm "no" comes out of my mouth.

What adds additional pressure for me is that in this job market, the human factor has hit rock bottom. It's not just because of the emergence of new technologies, but also because the individual is seen as a tiny, insignificant dot that can be easily erased. Jobs are revolving around scenarios where it's not possible to make a full contribution, and employers see you as cheap labor that can be easily replaced once the temporary one-month contract expires. I had a discussion with my friend, is it a problem in my years or that I have done so many different engagements in my life? Or, maybe, I have lived in one place which is far from the capital?

Basically, I have resolved one thing: I will try to find a job from home!

Couple of days ago, I posted my first article on this website about communication among partners and improving relationships. Now I'm writing a personal piece that will serve as a reminder for me in the future. Or it could be an interesting short narrative life clip about doubts, problems, questions and love. A reminder that I am valuable and that I want to be excellent in what I do.

So I am B, one who deeply loves a man and wants to leave her current life behind and embark on a new and unknown journey because of him. He appeared suddenly and, like in those lemonade movies, managed to disrupt everything. He hugs so beautifully and just tightly enough that it doesn't hurt, just like lifehurts sometimes. He is good, he have the most beautiful eyes and o mine, incredibly handsome. And who would have thought that a man seven years younger could move me so profoundly from my secure position.

Also, I am B, a certified master's psychologist with years of experience in the non-governmental sector. I specialize in psychology in a detention center while also engaging in activities related to women's economic empowerment and working with youth in the field of non-formal education. So, here's to wishing myself luck in this new endeavor.

Cheers!