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“When Allah Closed the Door”

“When Allah Closed the Door”

By waseem khanPublished 3 months ago 4 min read
“When Allah Closed the Door”
Photo by Desiree Goulden on Unsplash

“When Allah Closed the Door”

The night was louder than my heartbeat.
Rain smashed against the hospital window as if the sky itself was crying with me. My father was in the ICU, fighting for his life. Machines beeped, nurses rushed, and I sat in a corner of the waiting room, clutching my prayer beads and whispering one broken dua over and over —
“Ya Allah, please… please save him.”

My father was more than a parent; he was my teacher, my shield, and my reminder to pray when I forgot. I remember his voice every dawn, whispering, “Fajr ka waqt ho gaya, beta.”
And now I was praying for the same man who once taught me how to pray.

For weeks, doctors gave us hope and fear in the same breath. And each day, I begged Allah with more desperation — offering prayers, charity, even promises I couldn’t keep. But that night, when the doctor stepped out with his head bowed and eyes full of pity, I understood.

My father was gone.

My world shattered in silence. I wanted to scream, but my voice was trapped inside my chest. All I could think was, “Why would Allah take the only person who kept me close to Him?”

I walked out of the hospital into the storm. The rain soaked through my clothes, but I didn’t care. My faith, like my heart, felt drowned. I stopped praying. I stopped opening the Qur’an. My lips refused to say Alhamdulillah.

Days turned into weeks. People came, offered sympathy, then disappeared. The world moved on — but I didn’t. My room became my cave, my grief my only companion. I questioned everything, even the mercy of Allah.

Then one night, something pulled me out of bed. I saw my father’s old prayer rug lying in the corner, still folded neatly. It smelled faintly of his perfume. I sat on it, touched the fabric, and for the first time, I cried — not in anger, but in surrender.

“Ya Allah,” I whispered, “I don’t understand Your plan. But I know You do.”

That was the night my healing began.

A week later, I visited the small orphanage my father used to support. I had only heard about it from his friends. They said he would go there every Friday, leaving envelopes filled with money at their door anonymously.

When I reached, a boy no older than seven ran to me and said, “Uncle, you came back!”

I froze.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
He smiled, missing a front tooth, and said, “You look like him. The uncle who used to bring Eid for us.”

My heart collapsed and rebuilt itself in that one sentence. I spent the whole day there — serving food, teaching alphabets, laughing with children who had nothing but joy in their eyes. That night, for the first time since Baba died, I slept peacefully.

I began visiting every week. Each smile from those children stitched a tear in my soul. Each hug whispered to me that life hadn’t ended — it had only changed.

And then, one afternoon while teaching Qur’an to them, I came across an ayah that stopped me cold:

“Perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you know not.” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:216)

I stared at the verse for minutes, tears blurring the words.
It was as if Allah Himself was answering every question I had screamed into my pillow.

Maybe losing Baba wasn’t punishment. Maybe it was protection — from arrogance, from distance, from forgetting who gives and who takes.

Every dua I thought unanswered had been answered in ways I couldn’t see.
I asked Allah to keep my father alive — He granted him eternal life in Jannah.
I asked for peace — He gave me purpose.
I asked for comfort — He gave me closeness to Him.

Months passed. The orphanage became my second home. I repainted its walls, built a small library, and started a Friday Qur’an circle. Every act of kindness felt like continuing my father’s unfinished work.

One day, a little girl drew a picture of a man with a beard and kind eyes.
“Who is he?” I asked.
She said softly, “He’s the man you said lives with Allah now.”

That moment broke me — and rebuilt me all over again.

When Ramadan came, I visited my father’s grave. The call to Maghrib echoed through the sky as I sat beside the grave, tracing his name on the stone. The wind was gentle, carrying the scent of wet earth and something divine.

“Baba,” I whispered, “I finally understand. You didn’t leave me. You led me back to Him.”

The sun dipped below the horizon, and for the first time, I felt light — not heavy. I realized that Allah never takes without giving. He never tests without healing.

Faith isn’t about understanding every moment.
Faith is about trusting when nothing makes sense.
Because sometimes, Allah closes a door not to punish us — but to protect us from what’s behind it.

That night, as I stood to pray, I whispered the same words I said on the day of loss — but they meant something new now:

“Ya Allah, I don’t understand Your plan. But I know You do.”

The azan echoed again, and I smiled through tears, knowing my father was listening from a place far better.

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waseem khan

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