What is love?

artritingLove is a complex emotion and can be difficult to define in a single sentence. It can take on different meanings depending on the context and the individuals involved. Generally speaking, love refers to a deep and intense feeling of affection, attachment, and connection towards someone or something. Love can involve feelings of kindness, compassion, empathy, and caring, as well as a desire for intimacy, connection, and companionship. It can also manifest in a variety of different forms, including romantic love, platonic love, familial love, and self-love. Ultimately, love is a powerful force that can bring joy, fulfillment, and meaning to our lives.
From songs and poems to novels and movies, romantic love is one of the most enduring subjects for artworks through the ages. But what about the science? Historical, cultural and even evolutionary evidence suggests love existed during ancient times and across many parts of the world. Romantic love has been found to exist in 147 of 166 cultures looked at in one study. The complexity of love has much to do with how people experience it differently and how it can change over time. Like, love, or ‘in love’? Psychological research over the past 50 years has investigated the differences between liking someone, loving someone and being “in love”. Liking is described as having positive thoughts and feelings towards someone and finding that person’s company rewarding. We often also experience warmth and closeness towards the people we like. In some instances we choose to be emotionally intimate with these people. When we love someone we experience the same positive thoughts and experiences as when we like a person. But we also experience a deep sense of care and commitment towards that person. Being “in love” includes all the above but also involves feelings of sexual arousal and attraction. However, research into people’s own views of love suggests that not all love is the same.Romantic love consists of two types: passionate and companionate love. Most romantic relationships, whether they be heterosexual or same sex, involve both these parts. Passionate love is what people typically consider being “in love”. It includes feelings of passion and an intense longing for someone, to the point they might obsessively think about wanting to be in their arms.The second part is known as companionate love. It’s not felt as intensely, but it’s complex and connects feelings of emotional intimacy and commitment with a deep attachment toward the romantic partner.From songs and poems to novels and movies, romantic love is one of the most enduring subjects for artworks through the ages. But what about the science? Historical, cultural and even evolutionary evidence suggests love existed during ancient times and across many parts of the world. Romantic love has been found to exist in 147 of 166 cultures looked at in one study. The complexity of love has much to do with how people experience it differently and how it can change over time. Like, love, or ‘in love’? Psychological research over the past 50 years has investigated the differences between liking someone, loving someone and being “in love”. Liking is described as having positive thoughts and feelings towards someone and finding that person’s company rewarding. We often also experience warmth and closeness towards the people we like. In some instances we choose to be emotionally intimate with these people. When we love someone we experience the same positive thoughts and experiences as when we like a person. But we also experience a deep sense of care and commitment towards that person. Being “in love” includes all the above but also involves feelings of sexual arousal and attraction. However, research into people’s own views of love suggests that not all love is the same.Romantic love consists of two types: passionate and companionate love. Most romantic relationships, whether they be heterosexual or same sex, involve both these parts. Passionate love is what people typically consider being “in love”. It includes feelings of passion and an intense longing for someone, to the point they might obsessively think about wanting to be in their arms.The second part is known as companionate love. It’s not felt as intensely, but it’s complex and connects feelings of emotional intimacy and commitment with a deep attachment toward the romantic partner.Although a reduction in passionate love is not experienced by all couples, various studies report approximately 20-40% of couples experience this downturn. Of couples who have been married in excess of ten years, the steepest downturn is most likely to occur over the second decade. Life events and transitions can also make it challenging to experience passion. People have competing responsibilities which affect their energy and limit the opportunities to foster passion. Parenthood is an example of this. In contrast, companionate love is typically found to increase over time. Although research finds most romantic relationships consist of both passionate and companionate love, it’s the absence or reductions in companionate love, moreso than passionate love, that can negatively affect the longevity of a romantic relationship. But what’s the point of love? Love is an emotion that keeps people bonded and committed to one another. From an evolutionary psychology perspective, love evolved to keep the parents of children together long enough for them to survive and reach sexual maturity. The period of childhood is much longer for humans than other species. As offspring rely on adults for many years to survive and to develop the skills and abilities needed for successful living, love is especially important for humans. Without love, it’s difficult to see how the human species could have evolved.Not only is there an evolutionary foundation to love, love is rooted in biology. Neurophysiological studies into romantic love show that people who are in the throes of passionate love experience increased activation in brain regions associated with reward and pleasure. In fact, the brain regions activated are the same as those activated by cocaine. These regions release chemicals such as oxytocin, vasopressin and dopamine, which produce feelings of happiness and euphoria that are also linked to sexual arousal and excitement. Interestingly, these brain regions are not activated when thinking about non-romantic relationships such as friends. These