Unspoken of

I sit here quietly

Ferociously wandering

How am I suppose to be

Perfectly imperfect

Wondering if they care about me

Still it’s been years

And I don’t know how I got here

I sit with my thoughts

Not knowing how they live now

Without me

It was a kind of love

I never speak of

But often I see them in my head

What’s that suppose to mean

Do I mean as much to them as they to me

Was it something that drifted only to be

Or was it something that only has pain

I tend to see both

Maybe it’s both

I can feel the pain of your absence

I can see the lesson in disguise

Do you see me too

Do you understand now too

Do you still think of me

Maybe we can drift together again to be

Be the love we once were in tragic form

Or maybe I’m delusional for thinking

I can see you still

I wonder about the life we use to have

And if I could’ve done it differently

It’s a lesson I’ll forever remember

A lesson on how to be patient and kind

Consistently, I try to be

You were my whole heart

I don’t think I ever lived so happily

It’s hard to move on now

It’s been too long

I still sit with the grief

Hoping one day you’ll come to me wanderingly

Not to be with me but to smile at me

Cause to me it was all meant to be

I loved what we had

I use to hate it after it ended

Now I see it differently

You were made me feel so seen

Something I’ve always wanted to be

I don’t know now where I’m suppose to go

But here I am trying

There isn’t a time that I don’t think about you quietly

You settle in my heart like a forever love

But unfortunately it wasn’t meant to be that long

I wish it was longer

I wish I held on a little tighter

I know who I can be now

I know I have to love who I am now

You taught me that lesson unselfishly

You taught me that love is infinitely timeless

You can love multiple people again and again

In different ways it’s possible

It’s possible for me to love

I know I can now

But, sometimes I found myself fearing the pain it can have

Pain of losing what you tried so hard not to lose

Where do I go now

You were where I wanted to go

Everywhere you went I wanted to follow

Even when I didn’t want to I found myself coming back

Sometimes I feel really devastated looking in rooms with you not in them

I just want to see your face one more time

To express my gratitude

I never got to

We ended things so recklessly

That not what love is suppose to be

So here’s me wishing for your presence one more time

Just one more time to say that you meant everything to me

One more to me say I wouldn’t have changed anything

It was the best time of my life despite the fights

I held on as tight as I could

So tight I lost sight of it all

But it’s ok now, I’m better than I use to be

The memories still capture me

I just have one more thing to say

Every love you was always true

And I hope you know that I thank you for everything

in my heart that love existed on purpose