Truth Bomb

Hello. My name is not Atlas Thunderbaux and I have started these posts like this so I can link people to the original post explaining why my name is not Atlas Thunderbaux. Oops. Two links, I have now guaranteed I will get double the number of views on that post than I did on the previous one.

What is absolutely nothing multiplied by two?

So, I took a break for a week because I realised something. This blog? Series? Random assortment of thoughts and musings from someone as qualified to give advice as a life coach during open-heart surgery? That's the one. I realised I wasn’t being truthful. I mean, is anyone on the internet really? Its distorted and manipulated truth for the most valuable currency of all in this digital space – attention.

Don’t get me wrong, the ideas I have written about have had an impact on me. The idea of multiple futures, reading more and hiding behind an alias is something I believe in. But these are impacts on me and me alone; because I'm easily susceptible to the ideas of others that I’m void of any real identity.

Wait.

Not me. A person using a pseudonym, a profile picture of a lazily designed make-believe creature and a space that makes no mention of genders at all. Preposterous.

Why the sudden change?

“The purpose of art is to stand naked on stage.”

My personal number one hero Penn Jillette said this in his brilliant book God No! This is me dipping my toes into that space. Well, with the levels of anonymity I am currently hiding behind my metaphorical nudity is akin to going on stage in a full-body latex morph suit with the crotch cut out.

The Past Futures

Okay, so I was going to ditch the structure of the old posts, but I figured I would keep them here one last time to take the piss out of them a bit. Past futures sounded clever in my head when I started this. But as I look at it now - I kind of hate it. It’s just an excuse to share my back story so I could justify the impact of whatever spark I was talking about in the post. My tragic past that shares the severity of people who haven’t been given a straw with their milkshake. I miss straws. Screw you Turtles and your weak narrow throats.

Your Future - like I have any influence on it.

We all fear telling the truth. And if you think you don’t, then you’re lying to yourself and proving my point. We tell ourselves it’s because we don’t want to hurt people’s feelings, Or because it isn’t the right time. Or because telling the truth is hard, and things that are hard are difficult. Like not writing two pointless sentences that are redundant in a row.

But telling the truth is great.

It's freeing. It keeps the world centred. It reins in our out-of-control egos. A close friend once told me to stop talking about myself in a negative way. It was truth in its purest form. So I marched straight to the closest mirror, looked myself dead in the eyes and said "No more self-deprecation you fucking ugly loser."

But seriously, if I could tell you the future, I would not be here writing a blog for the entertainment of - checks the stats of the last post, eight people. I would find out all the wonders of the future. All the new innovations and ways in which society will improve – and monetise it like a rabid dog. You know, if dogs had a stronger desire for money than they do getting their mouths as close to their junk as possible.

The point is I was feeling a little lost with where this project was going. Writing it as though a truth bomb had rough sex with a self-serving rant has renewed a bit of energy into me. The voice was not mine, but just another person emulating great writers and thinkers and regurgitating their ideas onto your laps like a cat horking up a half-chewed rat. I want to entertain. I want to make people laugh and because we are still locked down I can only do it from the comfort of my home. In my chair. Wearing my crotchless morph suit and supporting a raging erect…laptop screen.

I'll Leave You with This.

Apparently, I’m supposed to end a blog post with a call to action or something. But I got nothing. I have just spent the last however many words expressing truths and ridiculous analogies because trying to write funny is hard. Which is what I want going forward. I want to learn and explore topics with a comedic edge.

I know. Go drop a truth bomb somewhere in your life. Think of something unsaid and be the USA to that person's Japan. All I want is the credit for is the elation you now feel. I bear no responsibility if your expressed truth resulted in a bitch slap.

Thank you for your time.

If you have suggestions for topics that could be fun to explore through the medium of comedy let me know, or just feel free to drop a truth bomb at me here.

Atlas Thunderbaux