Tragedy Upon Me

There is no feeling worse than being looked at in a negative light by friends, family, or the general public. Being left out because people are looking at you in disguised, bulling being normalized by society just because we think ther is something wrong with them. Society preaches to treat people with kindness but there is no escape from the judgement of others.

I'm Hunter, currently 23 years old and this is my story.

I grew up in a little town called Goffstown, it is a wonderful place on the outside but also small enough to where everyone knows everyone else's business. I never really got along with anyone and when I did get "along" with people or become "friends" with them I never felt like it was real. I know I was secretly hated by everybody but for some reason it never bothered me, probably I was already deeply depressed. I wasn't popular in highschool and everyone knew me definitly for the wrong reasons. I had a group of friends that would barely hangout with outside of school, I don't even know why they wanted to be friends with me, probably to make themselves feel better.

The more I've grown up, the more I've realized how backwards the world is.

Anyways I had this major crush on this girl in high school but I just decided I want to keep that a mystery.

During this time in my life I never felt like I had anyone to go to about my problems which almost led to me ending myself a few times. I'm such a defect of a human being I doubt I'd be missed by anyone. I was coping so hard because I just wanted to enjoy my life, when you have a stench, short, and ugly life is everything but enjoyable. Back then they may have been nice to me but I know I would've been better off dead to them.

2022: I hate going out but I do sometimes, I enjoy being alone but at the same time crave an intimate relationship with someone. I've tried for years to fix my problems but I'm not having any success. All I want is my story to be heard and sypathized with. Everyone claims to be this or that but they're all lying through their teeth, no one is innocent, no one actually cares and if they say they do then its just for attention. All these moral principles everyone acts like they follow ain't true. In the end there is no redeeming qualities about a single person because they are all corrupted by self loathing and egotistical tendencies.

People have always been is to read because everyone acts the same and no one knows how to hide their intents well enough. It's a world of hive mind where no one has any self awareness. I'm blown away how people will go through all these mental gymnastics just to not take any accountability.

People love to hide their shitty side and you can tell how shitty a person is by how fake they are acting towards you. This world is filled with a bunch of insecure little babies that have no sympathy for other people or their problems because it all only about them. No trust, no loyalty, no morals, thats truly disgusting behavior.

People don't speak the truth enough and thats what I'm doing because no one else seems to have the balls or integrity to do it. Interactions and the basic "fake" forms of sympathy nowadays has to change for the better or the world is going to go to absolute shit.

We really do live in a clown world.