This is What Deaf/HOH looks like

"​You don’t look deaf”.

I always found that statement so fascinating - especially the disbelief on their face. What does a deaf person look like? It’s usually followed by some outlandish stereotype and the person feels ashamed for even saying this statement out loud in the first place. Nevertheless, it got me thinking: what does a deaf person actually look like? Scrolling through my timeline I see deaf talent and beauty everywhere. None of us look the same.

I see deaf people looking like models, actors, engineers, pilots, social workers, activists, CEOs, entrepreneurs, any and everyone. Deaf people do not look a certain way, because it is an invisible disability, and you can’t tell someone is deaf by looking at them. Please stop trying to find our deafness in our features!

One of the obstacles I face as a Deaf/HOH person is the stereotype that we shouldn’t lead or be placed in leadership positions. Here’s why that is not only a myth but also false. I am a situational leader. Depending on the people in my group or problems/tasks to be done, my leadership style adapts. Many times, I have encouraged others to step up to the plate. My leadership characteristics such as rationality, analytical thinking, persistence, and detail-driven focus have influenced my interactions with others by driving me to achieve anything I set out to do. Patrick Walker, Fort Worth Star-Telegram said, “[Michelle has] already overcome a major life obstacle, doing so with a smile on her face and a determination that nothing is too big to overcome. It may sound like a cliché, but I expect big things from her”.

In the past, I had a charismatic approach to leadership. More specifically, I didn’t realize I was a leader. I figured my friends and peers just valued my opinion and asked for it often. Being voted into leadership positions without effort didn’t surprise me because of my likability. Though, I took those appointments seriously and did the jobs to the best of my abilities. ​People have chosen to be led by me, because I am spontaneously predictable. By this, I mean they expect stability in my leadership, but also know that I am willing to transition through change as it is relevant to the group/organization (mainly due to my transition from hearing to deaf/HOH). My transparency allows others to see my weaknesses without viewing me as weak (which gives me an approachable characteristic that draws people to me). People know me to be sympathetic and empathetic, because of these same weaknesses. Therefore, these qualities go hand-in-hand.

Even though I know I am different in obvious ways, I need to convey my uniqueness in a manner that promotes professionalism. I’m blessed enough to be surrounded by leaders in their own right (as well as actual leaders). In a way, I believe that I mimic and adapt to my environment. Even though I do not favor being in the spotlight, I know how and when to shine when I’m needed to step up to the plate. I have benefited so much from unofficial mentor-ships that I am a huge advocate of it. In an article I wrote about mentoring in 2011, I briefly talk about the quality of the mentor: “As Americans, we ought to be putting more emphasis on these mentor-ship programs and our children…” I still believe that question still holds true today.

I am a firm believer that the difficulty of leading someone with blinders on will get you little to no progress. This includes generalizing people without getting to know their capabilities. If all you knew about me was that I'm deaf/HOH and overlooked me because of it, you have missed out on so much. By interacting with people and showing them my successes as a deaf/HOH woman, I hope they won't do it to anyone else. Eventually, it will become their personal glass ceiling. Diversity is key to success.

At times, I feel like the token deaf friend, and it is stressful. MTV Daria's Jodie Landon said it best and it's truly how I feel on many occasions:

"At home I'm free to be myself, but here I'm Queen of the [Deafs], the perfect [person], the role model for all other [deaf/HOH people]".

Then I realized, I might be someone’s only connection to deaf culture, and I must do my best to represent it in a good light. Even though I feel the pressure that this representation holds, I can take it. I will give my best and work hard so that when another deaf/HOH person comes up for a job or opportunity, people will remember their interaction with me and give someone else a chance. What does deaf/HOH look like? It looks like me.