Thinking Outside the Box

It bewilders me to sit in reality.

When all I want to do is to create outside of the box.

From a young age, I sat with my imagination.

Thinking of ways to escape.

Maybe if I could focus, become great I can leave this place.

Why wasn't I satisfied with where I was.

I like to think outside of reality.

I was such a quiet girl, I didn't know what to say.

So, I thought and thought and made up stories to escape.

I would get easily bored.

Still thats something I do.

So, I would go to sleep and escape again into my dreams.

I would dream such dark things.

I would scare myself into thinking unimaginably.

I didn't know what would make me happy.

Perhaps, that's the point.

The curse of being a creative is never be satisfied with what you have created.

I endured a lot of wishful thinking.

Dreaming big only to be disappointed by reality.

So, again I went inside my head.

Hoping for the next big adventure to make me feel happy.

Again, I failed.

I failed so many times I didn't know how to be anymore.

They say failure is a lesson, will that lesson turned me into a monster.

A negative, dark being.

I became a victim of my own demise.

The more, I became dark.

The more I scared myself.

I scared others.

Who am I?

How did the dreamer turn into a monster? I thought.

It has to mean more.

I have to find the light in me again.

Where did I go wrong?

This darkness seem to have no end

The quiet girl in me began to write.

Writing is what transcended my time.

And so it began, like an uncovering mystery.

How did the darkness come in?

Perhaps, when we can't see the light we turn to darkness instead.

Darkness is easy to see.

The light glows one way.

Darkness has many shades, we've been shown that darkness is more brilliant then the light.

Where is this light?

Do I believe in me or in a god thats vastly?

How do I change my mind into something that can see more clearly?

Listen said a whisper.

Thats where I began.

I began to listen.

I listened to the birds chirping in the moring and the sipping coffee sounds of my mothers coffee.

But when do I escape ths agony?

Listen said the whisper.

Again, I began to listen.

Everyone around me has found the light.

Where do I find mine?

Listen said the whisper.

I don't know what I'm listening for?

Then, I realized I get so lost in my head.

I don't appreciate creation.

I don't care about it.

That is where the darkness began.

Finally, I know.

How do I begin to appreciate it? I thought.

Listen.

Get out of your head.

I've lived there for so long.

I don't know how to live life.

I'm scared.

At least I know now, I need to get out of my head and into my heart.

Breathe said the whisper.

Be still and know that I'm here.

What does that mean?

I've always been about me.

It's time I be about the one who created me.

The ones who have uplifted me.

The ones who know him.

It's time I actually be.

Be who god created me to be.

Be who I'm suppose to be.

Be happy with reality.

Be loving.

Be resilient,

Be fierce.

Be a woman of God.

Be all that he has in store for me.

Be excited about life.

Be present.

Just be.