Things I've learned about my co-workers

Last Friday, I had the pleasure of being invited to chill after work with my co-workers. Right now it’s just 3 of us, and we have formed a bond since this past summer when we all went on a work trip together and it brought us closer.... at least that’s what I thought.

I won’t disclose names, for privacy purposes, and I’ll try and keep it as vague as possible. I’ll refer to them as A & B.

But anyways, I’m realizing that, as I chill with them more and more outside of work, my voice gets drowned. I don’t have too much to contribute to what’s been said, either that, or I’m overthinking what to say, how it will sound etc. It's an issue I've struggled with since I was young.

So, A & B, are both very loud and outgoing, and I’m the complete opposite. Chill and introverted, but can be extroverted if I want to, depending on the situation and the people. I can be extroverted when it comes to drinking a lot or if I’m in an environment where I feel like I can be loud and boisterous. But otherwise, I am very much a homebody, chilling by myself, but not lonely.

So given that I hung out with them on Friday night, after finishing work at 10pm, we hung out until 2am, at least that’s when I decided to leave. I wasn’t feeling it at all. I definitely had a lot to drink, but not too much that I was unable to drive back home. I didn’t want to be there any longer… because I didn’t feel safe. Perhaps, it was because, for the first time, I met A’s other group of friends, which were completely different from who I’d like to chill with and get to know.

I felt like I was being called to head home and be safe, for some reason my body didn’t feel safe. I wasn’t used to any of these people and their energies were too much for me to handle. That’s probably the millennial energy. Which can be good at times or draining at other times.

With that being said, here’s what I learned from A&B in the amount of time I spent observing, and listening:

1. Online presence and image:

This one didn’t come as a surprise - A & B are both into social media and consumed with appearing a certain way virtually. And, yes we all do it, so I can’t judge. But it seems like that’s ALL they cared about. Their snap stories, their tik-toks, their instas.. none of that shit is real. It’s artificial, but that’s what they value, rather than deep conversations and connections. I realized this when A brought his other friends, which I didn’t really like. Why, because they come across as self-centered and value their appearance way too much than they should. Not my jam. I can understand that you want to look good and feel good, and there is nothing wrong with that, but if that’s all you care about, then you do you.

2. It seemed like they were escaping their problems:

One of A’s other friends, couldn’t stop biting their nails ferociously, their mind deep in thought, and the other couldn’t stop fixing their hair, while drinks were flying. It wasn’t healthy. I didn’t feel good. I feel like they have unresolved issues that they’re trying to get away from - by using alcohol and drugs - I mean we were all there, but some of us still are. I was there, but I’m not there anymore. I'm in a different stage of my life, a healthier stage to say the least, where I don’t need drugs to escape my problems.

3. They live for drama and gossip:

A & B both love it. Even at work, I try not to get involved, and sometimes it’s hard not to, but it’s just not healthy. Talking ‘bad’ about someone or another co-worker, all for what? To give you the satisfaction of bringing the person down, and feeling good about it? Nah nah nah. That’s not how I roll. That’s why I write.

4. They take me back to my high school days.

The reason for this is that I am 25 years old right now, and when I was in high school there was a lot of drama around me, like many, who have gone to high school or currently experiencing that stage. I tried to stay out of the drama and do my own thing, focus on my art and dancing, and that’s still what I am trying to do. High school was fun, but I don't long to go back or be reminded of that stage.

So there you have it.

All in all, my co-workers are good to work with, and they're not bad people for valuing different things, but I just have to make sure to keep my distance from them. We’re dance colleagues at the end of the day and perhaps that’s all it needs to be.