The Unspoken Challenge of Marrying Beneath Your Educational Level

If you are going to get married, I would say that you should marry a man who has at least attained your educational level.

This is what a woman who came to me for advice said.

This is what she told me...

I was born as the eldest child in a family where neither a poor man nor an illiterate man was involved. We are a very traditional middle-class family, everyone in our family was well-educated, and the way of our family was to focus on success through education, so everyone in the family held high positions at various levels in government and private institutions.

But in our family, I was the one who broke this tradition.

In short, I married a man from a very poor family who did not even pass the GCE exam. But I must say that I recognized him as someone who had worked hard and dedicatedly and rose to the top.

We were both the same age when we met, we were both thirty years old, and we had not had a great relationship, but we got married before we had even met for a year and a half. No one in my family liked this marriage. Everyone was against it.

Everyone said in unison that this boy was not a good fit for our family, what are you trying to do?

But I didn't listen to them, I thought I wouldn't make a mistake, I was making the best decision of my life.

We got married, none of our family attended the short wedding ceremony. Only poor relatives from his family and his and my friends attended our wedding ceremony.

Although my husband's mother seemed a little upset that none of my family attended the wedding ceremony, I understood that it was just a show, they saw it as a great privilege to marry into a family like ours.

We got married and settled in a separate house, because they had a large family, and I wanted to live separately. To be honest, our decision to live separately was a big reason for our marriage to last this long. If we had stayed in his big house for a while, I would have broken off the marriage in two weeks and left.

Because even after living so separately, problems arose between us due to the inconvenience caused by his family.

Everyone would come to him to ask for money in exchange.

Later, they expected the same from me.

But they would not give me anything except money.

They take things that are in the house, things that are essential to a house, not with the feeling that the people in that house will need them again, but when we need them, we should go and get them.

When there is a problem, a disaster, everyone comes and falls down. We say that it is okay, but it is not relevant to them that there are things we can do and things we cannot do, and we both have privacy. When we live as husband and wife, no one in that family feels that freedom is essential. They don't care whether it is late at night or early in the morning. They call or come home.

To be honest, no one in this world has as many problems and needs as those people.

Okay, you were talking about Husband's family, about this Husband.

His cleanliness was at the last drop, he never thought about his own cleanliness, personal hygiene was last, there is no way that there is another person who lived like that who would want to be clean and tidy with him,

When he goes to the toilet, he doesn't flush the water properly, he doesn't know how to use a bathroom properly, that's all.

He wears the same shirt he wore today and is dirty, the sleeves of the collar are dirty. Even if his underwear and vest are torn and torn, it doesn't matter, no matter how new they are, they are old today.

I had noticed the dirt and dirt on the sleeves of the collar when he was with me, but I thought that he must have worked hard all day and got dirty because he used to meet me in the evening.

These things started to cause problems between us, and later I realized that he was doing this routine to hurt me and make me uncomfortable.

Because of his dirty habits, even having sex with him was completely unpleasant to me, and later I got to the point where I refused to be with him, and he accused me of having other people.

As time went on, this man started acting very jealous of me, deliberately acting in a way that made me uncomfortable.

Even when I go somewhere with him, he comes to pick me up in a very messy way, dressed like a man, and comes to my office to pick me up. I realize that he does this to embarrass me.

I can't go to parties, festivals, and various occasions that I am invited to, because when I go to those places, I get drunk and eat a lot and get spoiled, or I become a laughing stock to the people there.

My situation is ruining the dignity of my position. Later, when I start attending them without him, he starts making up stories about it, saying that when I go with him, I can't look at men properly, so I leave him.

When I say that it's not like that, when I go to them and say that I don't go with them because they don't behave properly, he asks me what's wrong with my behavior, that I go to them to eat, drink, and have fun.

But there is a way to do it, even if you forget the things you did for an hour or two tomorrow, I will always go there and do my duties.