The Topper’s Mask: What’s Really Behind the Rank?

“Wow, you must be so smart!”

“Beta, you’ll definitely top again this year, right?”

“You’re lucky, things must be easy for you.”

“She always scores—God is in her favor.”

If I had a rupee for every time someone said that to me, I’d be rich enough to stop worrying about my future. But here’s the thing no one really talks about—being a “topper” is not always the flex people think it is.

Sure, on the outside, it looks like I’ve got it all: good marks, appreciation from teachers, admiration (and sometimes jealousy) from classmates, and pride from family. But what no one sees is the pressure. The fear. The mental load that comes with being someone everyone expects to always perform.

“Being good at something doesn’t mean it comes easy. Sometimes, it just means you work twice as hard to make it look that way.”

🎭 Expectations vs Reality

The label of being a “topper” feels like a crown… but sometimes, it’s made of thorns.

People assume toppers always motivated. That we like studying. That we never fail. That we are confident 24/7. But in reality, we procrastinate. we get overwhelmed. We have days where we feel like we are not good enough—even when our marks say otherwise.

What’s worse? One small mistake, one bad mark, and suddenly everyone’s like:

“What happened to you?”

“Looks like the topper’s luck ran out.”

🧠 The Mental Load No One Talks About

It’s exhausting to carry the burden of being the perfect child, the perfect student. We don’t get to say, “I don’t feel like studying today,” because apparently, “toppers don’t say that.”

We can’t admit we are confused about our future because “you’ll figure it out, you always do.” But in reality? Sometimes we can’t. It’s not as easy as baking a cake. There’s a constant pressure to do more, be better, stay ahead.

And slowly, the line between our self-worth and our academic performance starts to blur. We begin to think we have to score well to be liked, respected, or even just… enough.

“Sometimes, the highest achievers carry the heaviest insecurities.”

😔 When Validation Becomes a Drug

I won’t lie—getting good marks feels amazing. The claps. The compliments. The feeling of accomplishment. Honestly? Somewhere deep down, I love academic validation more than anything. But after a point, it becomes addictive. And dangerous. Because the moment I don’t get that validation? I spiral.

I question myself:

“Am I even smart anymore?”

“Is everyone getting ahead of me?”

I realized I started studying not out of passion, but out of fear. Fear of losing my title. Fear of people changing the way they look at me.

🎭 The Sacrifice That Comes With Validation

Being a topper doesn’t mean all we do is bury our noses in textbooks. But that’s the image people often have of us, isn’t it? We’re expected to be academic machines, constantly studying.

But we can be more than that—we can be dancers, singers, athletes who love basketball, or martial arts enthusiasts. But the crown of being a topper comes with a robe of heavy responsibilities.

“Done with boards? You’ll take science, right?”

“You’re a topper—so JEE or NEET? or something new- UPSC? CA?"

But why should scoring high grades narrow our future to just few options? In reality, excelling academically should open up a world of possibilities. Yet, society seems to confine us to a single path, pushing us to sacrifice our passions, dreams, and sometimes even our identity, all for the sake of a few extra marks.

💥 It’s Not Luck—It’s My Hard Work

People often undermine a topper’s effort by calling it luck or saying we’re God’s favorite children. No, we don’t mail God to send us good marks. And we weren’t born with superpowers.

Our grades are the result of discipline, sacrifice, and sleepless nights. When our peers were binge-watching or scrolling reels, we were revising.

It’s not a matter of one night— It’s the result of hundreds of them.

❗ The Harsh Truth

Some students say, “What’s the big deal? If I study seriously, I can top too.”

Then do it, bro.

There’s a huge difference between a fluke and skill. Getting good marks once by cramming the night before doesn’t make you a topper.

Also—when did studying last-minute suddenly become “cool”?

Maybe we don’t belong to what the world calls “cool.” But we belong to what’s consistent, focused, and powerful.

🤓 The ‘Nerdy’ Image

Just because we score well doesn’t mean we are a nerd. Not every topper wears specs, does two braids, or dresses like they’re stuck in the 90s.

We know how to party, vibe, and laugh till our stomachs hurt too.

We’re not robots—we’re real people. With real depth. And dual personalities. ☕✨

😤 Crying Over 1 Mark

The most common taunt we hear:

“Don’t act like a crybaby, 2 marks less isn’t a big deal.”

“Look at her, attention seeker—crying even with 95/100.”

But here’s the truth:

The one who’s studied the whole year will fight for that one mark.

What we do isn’t luck—it’s skill. We prepared for that extra mark. We spent sleepless nights planning, revising, memorizing. So when our hard work doesn’t reflect in our score, it hurts.

“That one mark is not just a number. It’s a hundred missed hours, a dozen skipped outings, and one broken heart.”

🌱 What I’m Starting to Learn

I’m still figuring things out, but here’s what I know now:

• Grades don’t define me.
• Burnout is real—and rest is just as important as hustle.
• It’s okay to not be okay all the time.
• I’m allowed to have hobbies that don’t lead to achievements.
• Life isn’t a race to the top—it’s a journey to something deeper.

💌 A Note to All Toppers (And to Myself)

If you’ve ever felt the pressure of being “the smart one,” I see you. You’re not alone.

It’s okay to mess up.

It’s okay to take a break.

It’s okay to not want to be perfect.

You are more than your marks. You are more than your potential. You are already enough.

And if no one has told you this recently—

you’re doing great. Really.